Why is it that over 50% of all marriages in America today end in divorce? Why is it that in just two or three generations we have gone from a society where marriage and stability were the norm, where couples would always try to make marriage work at all costs- to an age where marriage is regarded as just another relational inconvenience? Society has changed considerably within that time frame, but what is it that has driven change to the literal demise of long term stable relationships? How is it that we can enter into a lifelong commitment, only to change our minds causing the detriment and destruction of family?’
Historically the husband was the breadwinner and the wife took care of the home, and the children. This was what society expected and roles were clearly defined. The pressure of conforming to society made couples work at staying together. With greater freedom and equal opportunity among the sexes, roles have become blurred, and there is now no expectation in society of what we should and shouldn’t do. We have the freedom to make our own personal choices, and these choices are often made with a focus purely on the present rather than the future, rooted in the knowledge that if it goes wrong it can be fixed with separation or divorce.
Should we really treat relationships and marriage like we treat consumer goods today? In our grandparents’ day, things were built to last, and if they broke, we got them fixed. A marriage was the same, it wasn’t entered into lightly, it was a valued commitment, and when things went wrong we did our best to fix it up. Over the years many goods have become cheaper to produce, and now if they break we throw them out and replace them with a newer better model. The problem with relationships is that we’ve come to treat them in the same way. Marriages give us instant gratification like those latest electronic gadgets, and anymore when they start to go wrong we can replace them with another. Do you want to become one of the statistics? Probably not, because no-one wants to enter into a marriage knowing it will ultimately fail. Have you been involved in a genuinely romantic relationship which has ultimately failed? How would you like some good sound advice on relationships, and how to build the foundations of a successful marriage? Relationships don’t just happen, they should be planned. By discovering yourself through building a successful relationship with yourself, working out your values and expectations, and using these to seek out partnerships with a like-minded people, you will experience healthy and fulfilling relationships.
In the book The Problem with Relationships Today, I look at a brief history of relationships and how they have evolved, and what are the underlying causes to the way many people approach relationships and marriage today. I discuss the most important relationship you will ever have – the one with yourself, and how you should use this analysis to help with dating and relationships in general. I also discuss, in depth, how proper communication is vital to strengthen and maintain healthy relationships.
Sure I want to help fix our relationship dilemmas, but most of all I want you to experience successful and rewarding relationships.