Why are they sending mixed signals? Why are they ghosting? Why did they leave you but they still watch your stories?
It’s because, they aren’t interested. But, they know you’re a catch.
Have you ever found the perfect guy/ girl, who you know is super sweet, a little out of your league maybe, just someone who you are attracted to and want to be around? BUT you just don’t like them like that?
It happens a lot. Picture an Instagram model hitting you up, with like 60k followers, it’s kind of impressive and a massive ego shot. Right? BUT let’s say even despite how hot and cool this person seems, you just can’t love them. You don’t know why, but the feeling just isn’t there.
There are two different ways that people might react to this: and it depends on how high or low someone’s confidence is:
- High Confidence People: They would simply tell the person that while they are flattered and they think you are super hot and interesting, but even despite this, they just, for some bizarre reason, can’t feel for you. They can’t love you. Then they will thank you for your time and move onward. No mixed signals, they might even unfollow, or might agree to remain platonic friends, and nothing more.
- Low Confidence People: They need attention from others to feel validated. And what better attention could they receive to feel validated by someone who is super hot and interesting? Sure, they can’t love you like that. Or maybe it’s just that they don’t want to commit to you long-term, whatever the reason, it’s not personal. It’s just a feeling that they lack. But what better way to feel validated than to be around someone who is out of your league that you can reject, give mixed signals to, and keep around as a “option”. Right?
What to do about it?
Sometimes rejection comes down to something out of your control. Sometimes, when someone is not in your league or below your league, they don’t feel comfortable pursing you. It sounds like b.s. but it’s true. Sometimes, a person with low self-esteem won’t want to be with someone confident, they want someone on the same wave length. Someone who will be their equal, not someone who will make them feel inferior or self-conscious.
Everyone wants a sports car, but some people can’t afford it. Some people can afford it but don’t want to maintain it. Right?
Everyone wants an expensive watch, but putting in the work to get it, and keep it, that isn’t something everyone can do.
Take it as a compliment that someone see’s you as someone they take pride in having interest in them. But block them. Because compliments aren’t enough. Low self-esteem people try to hurt high self-esteem people for the sake of their own confidence. When someone is intimidated by your excellence, they will try to diminish it.
When someone is intimidated, it is a sign that you need better. They can’t “afford” you. (and no I’m not just talking about money). In general, they aren’t enough for you. You know it, they know it, and yet they are praying on your insecurities, because they want to make a game of it. Because it’s fun for them to have someone out of their league questioning themselves over them.
Break the cycle and block them. If someone insults you, they are trying to tell you that you can do better and that intimidates them. So find better. When you find someone in your league, they aren’t going to play these stupid childish games.
You need a partner who tries to encourage you to level up your life in a good way. Not some insecure boy/girl/child who wants to insult you and keep you in their lower lane. Cut that toxic stuff off.
Don’t overthink it. The very fact they are ghosting PROVES they are lower than you. It is unacceptable behaviour that shows they have no class. So let it go and find better. The games were fun when you were a teen, but now you shouldn’t waste your time on them.
Move on. Treat mixed signals as a rejection. They might like you, but they aren’t enough for you. They can’t afford you. So let them window shop and admire from the sidelines, while a worthy person puts down the payment on you.
You’re worth it.