What exactly does it mean to have an unexplainable connection with someone? Does that mean you’re soulmates? Does it mean you should immediately start dating this person and elope to Hawaii with them? Or does it mean you’re crushing hard on a guy and getting a little ahead of yourself?
There are lots of terms used to define a connection like this:
Soulmate
Karmic connection
Divine connection
Soul connection
Twin flame
The good news is that these terms are all used to describe the feeling of being inextricably drawn to a person.
But let’s clear something up before we move on: a soulmate is not necessarily the guy you marry and live happily ever after with. A soulmate is someone you feel deeply connected to and who alters your life in an unforgettable way. They could be someone you end up romantically involved with, but they could also be a friend, a business partner, or a mentor. You might date for a few months or years and then go your separate ways. A soulmate is not necessarily forever; it might just be for Christmas.
What is a divine connection with someone?
Have you ever met someone and felt intensely connected to them, as if your soul has just recognized theirs?
It’s more than a damn you’re fine attraction. There’s an emotional and spiritual pull that you feel towards each other.
And if it is a genuine soul connection, you’ll often find that even if you try to run or hide from it, the Universe will find a way to keep reuniting you.
Can you feel a connection with someone you haven’t met?
Yes. It’s possible to feel a deep, other-worldly connection to someone you’ve only spoken to on a dating site, messenger app, or DMs.
But, and this is a big but: it’s very easy to confuse the rush of excitement of talking to a new guy you’re attracted to with the feeling of connecting to a soulmate. This is why I always advise the women in my Love Accelerator program not to let their connection become too deep with a guy before they’ve met face to face.
Here’s why:
You have no idea he is who he says he is. You could literally be talking to anyone.
You don’t want to become too attached to someone this early on before building some trust. This is why ghosting hurts so much.
You’ve got to make him work harder to get to know you on a deeper level (this is part of what I call Little Love Step #5). Don’t hand yourself on a plate to anyone. You are not a breakfast buffet. You’re the expensive a la carte sh*t with mimosas and smoked salmon, okay?
18 signs of an unexplainable connection with someone
So, you think you’ve got an unexplainable connection with a guy different from anything you’ve felt before? Here are the signs to pay attention to.
1. The spark happens quickly
What does it mean when you feel an instant connection with someone?
You’ll meet them IRL or connect with them online, and a bond will start forming much quicker than it does with other people. Something about their presence puts you at ease or feels like home. Your conversations are just like the ones between old friends, and you can’t quite believe you only just met.
Remember, this is also part of how you get duped into thinking you’re in love with this guy you only just met, so be aware and keep an eye out for red flags.
2. You feel drawn to him like a magnet
Have you ever met someone you want to be around 24/7? This is common in the honeymoon phase of dating a new guy. You can’t get enough of them. You’re like a kid who got the triple scoop ice cream cone when you’re with him, and he’s all you think about when you’re without him. When you hang out in a group, you always gravitate toward each other. There’s no better way of describing it than an invisible magnet that pulls you together. You have an emotional connection that is so strong that it manifests as a physical attraction toward them.
3. It feels like you’ve met before
Have you ever met someone for the first time but had a feeling that you’ve met before? You’re racking your brain trying to figure out how you know them… did we hook up back in college, but it was so bad that we both repressed it from our minds? But you eventually realize that you don’t. Still, you can’t shake that feeling. So, you start to wonder, are past lives a thing? Did we know each other in a different lifetime? This is what’s often known as a karmic connection with someone. Your soul recognizes theirs. It’s said that a relationship like this will continue until you’ve learned what you need to learn from each other.
4. You can be yourself
Part of having an unexplainable connection with someone is the constant feeling that you can be yourself with them without needing to censor parts of your personality. You don’t feel any reason to pretend or embellish anything. You immediately get a sense that they accept you for who you are—every part of you, flaws and all.
We’ve all got our insecurities and quirks, but it’s these parts of you that he loves the most, and vice versa. You’ve never felt so accepted or seen because the truth is it’s rare to have a connection like this with someone, and it feels fantastic. Why can’t all connections be this good?
5. Being with him feels safe
You know how when you typically meet a new guy you’re attracted to, and you get fluttery butterflies in your belly? Well, a soul connection feels slightly different right from the get-go. Yes, you’re excited to see him, but there’s none of the nerves or anxiety you usually have wondering if he likes you or if you’re funny enough or smart enough or sexy enough. You feel safe and comfortable and held when you’re with him. This is important to pay attention to because it’ll help you determine whether this is just another crush or if it’s something deeper.
6. You want to know everything about him
Okay, it’s relatively normal when you start seeing someone new to want to know everything about him. Where he grew up, what his “type” is, whether he likes peanut butter jelly sandwiches as much as you do, etc. Why? Because you’re gathering information about him, kind of the way a detective or stalker does but in a non-creepy way, so you can decide whether you like them enough to keep seeing them.
But an unexplainable connection with someone is a little different. You don’t need to gather information to make an informed decision about whether you like him. That isn’t up for debate. You want to know everything about him because you’re genuinely interested in everything he does. To you, this guy is fascinating. You could stay up talking all night with him (you probably have), and you’d still be ravenous for more.
7. You share the same values
Even if you have an unexplainable connection with someone and you’re convinced you’re soulmates, it’s perfectly normal to argue and have disagreements. The difference is that you don’t argue about big things like values and morals and who voted for Trump. You’re on the same page when it comes to that heavy stuff. But you end up arguing over petty, superficial things like whether marmite is the best thing ever to be invented or who ate the last pop tart.
Even if you’re one pop tart down, the good news is you’re a pretty solid match which is vital for building a relationship that lasts.
If you’re not sure whether you’re aligned on the big things, take some time to create your love vision, so you know what matters most to you and can spot it when you see it.
8. You go together like mac & cheese
I believe that we are all whole on our own, without a partner, and it’s essential to feel that way as a single woman before you start dating; otherwise, you’ll always be dating from a place of lack. You don’t need a man to complete you.
But the thing about an unexplainable connection with someone is that it feels like you’ve been searching for them forever. They don’t complete you, but they add this beautiful, complementary facet to you that makes you shine even brighter. Even though you’re two different individuals, you fit together so well, which leaves you thinking that you might be one soul divided into two bodies.
And this isn’t just some kooky, out there new-age stuff. Science says that when you hit it off with someone instantaneously, your brains might literally be on the same wavelength.
9. Communication feels effortless
Does everything feel easy when you talk? You receive the perfect piece of advice at the right time, you understand each other without misinterpreting anything, you have a similar sense of humor, and you even use the same words. You’ll often finish each other’s sentences, and sometimes it can feel like you’re in each other’s minds.
Communication is something that many couples have to learn to navigate together because everyone communicates differently. So if you communicate without a hiccup from day one, you’ve got a rare connection here.
10. You are honest with each other
Trust takes time to build between strangers, but there are unique connections where you can’t explain why you trust each other so quickly, but you do. You’re both open and honest with each other and able to have intimate conversations about your deepest fears and dreams. This relates to the point earlier about feeling you can be yourself with him. A large part of this is speaking freely without worrying about how the other person will react. In most relationships, it takes time to build a foundation where you feel able to express yourself so honestly, but it’s there from the start with this guy.
11. Silence is comfortable
This point is true in all healthy long-term relationships. When you’re truly comfortable in your own skin and with this person, silence will no longer feel painful or awkward. You’re not in silence because you’re one of those old married couples who have run out of nice things to say to each other. You’ve got plenty to talk about, but your relationship is so solid and special that you’re equally content spending time together in silence. It can even be enjoyable. And if that sounds bananas to you, maybe you just haven’t met the right guy… yet!
12. You read each other without words
Communication is effortless between you, but even when neither of you says a damn thing, you’re still weirdly in sync and reading each other’s minds. You just have to look into each other’s eyes, and you know. How?!
It’s all about your eye contact, body language, tone of voice, and energy.
Even when you’re not together, you might suddenly think about him or feel the urge to send him a message or offer support because you have an inkling that he needs you or he’s in some kind of danger. And when you do check on him, it turns out he was going through something the moment you felt it. Spooky, right?
You’ve never considered yourself psychic, but this connection has got you wondering if you could have a thriving career as the next Mystic Meg.
13. Being with him feels like home
You know how when you go on a big journey somewhere, and you’re traveling home, and all you want to do is walk through the front door, chill in your underwear, eat takeout on the sofa, and be surrounded by everything that feels safe and familiar? It’s not just your physical space that makes you feel at home; it’s certain people too. And when you have a deep, unexplainable connection with someone, they can often feel like home.
14. He makes you feel calm
Even when you’re in your most anxious, worried, troubled state, being with him feels like a soft breeze washing a calming potion all over you. And in that moment, everything melts away. Nothing feels as heavy as it did. Everything feels like it’s going to be okay. Even if you’re just talking on the phone.
When sh*t hits the fan, he’s the first person you go to, and he always makes everything better.
15. He changes you (in a profound way)
Another sign that you have a strong, unexplainable connection with someone is that they change you somehow, for the better. And you’ll start to notice this change within yourself. Maybe not at first, but eventually, you’ll look back and realize how much you’ve grown since you met. Perhaps you can’t quite explain how you’ve changed, but you feel that something has shifted within you.
This circles back to what I mentioned earlier about soulmates. They aren’t necessarily meant to be in your life forever (although they could be) but will help you learn a lesson and inevitably shape you.
16. Your connection feels more than physical
It’s easy to confuse lust for love, the same way it’s easy to confuse a soul connection with infatuation. One of the key differences is your connection will go far beyond the physical and become a deep, energetic connection. You’ll find yourself thinking about them when they’re not there, experiencing strange coincidences like thinking about them right as they call or text you, or having an intense (non-sexy) dream about them.
17. Everyone else disappears
When you have an unexplainable connection with someone, everyone else in your world starts to become a little bit blahhhhhh. It’s not that everyone else is dull; rather, this person is so colorful and sparkly that everyone appears faded like an old polaroid. When you’re together, you don’t notice anyone else. Even when you’re in a Times Square-sized crowd, it feels like you’re the only people there because you’ve created this invisible bubble of energy that you’re existing in. And you’re content there. It feels like you don’t need anyone else. FYI: you do, so don’t drop all your friends like hot cakes for this dude—he might be your soulmate, but he’s still just one guy.
18. You won’t ever forget them
Whether this connection is temporary or meant to last a lifetime, you will remember each other. Not in a, man he was an ass*ole kind of way, but in an aww that was so special kind of way. So even if you break up, you’ll remember this relationship forever because it changed you and shaped you into the woman you are today. Even if he was your soulmate and you thought you’d be together your whole life, you’re both able to let each other go and move on while remembering the connection you shared in a happy light.
What to do if you have an unexplainable connection with someone (but you haven’t dated yet)
Feeling a strong connection with someone you just met but not sure what to do about it?
First things first, get clear on how you feel. Are you romantically interested in him? Does he match your love vision?
If the answer is yes, are you getting any signs that he’s attracted to you too? For example, does he frequently try to hang out with you? Does he compliment you a lot? Is he always there for you?
If so, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and talk about it. Arrange to meet up for a drink and see if you’re a good match on a romantic level. You might both realize you’re better off as friends, but you’ll never know until you try!
What to do if you have an unexplainable connection with someone you’re already dating
Don’t let a connection develop too intimately online before meeting up in person. Talk is cheap, and it’s easy to say all the right things and have no intention of backing those words up with actions.
Remember to pace the progression of your connection with this guy (that’s Little Love Step #5) and avoid going too fast, too soon. Give yourself the time and space to see this man clearly and figure out if he’s a good romantic match for you in the long run. Continue to date other guys and keep your options open until you believe this guy is worth giving up your single crown for.
Have you ever had an unexplainable connection with someone you’ve dated? What happened? Tell me all in the comments below!
