We are so sad to announce that Sue Johnson has died at the age of 76 from cancer. She was a close friend of ours and a valued colleague. We loved her enormously. She gave us profound insights into how to create connection and safety in close relationships. Sue used attachment theory to brilliantly illuminate…
I lay in my husband’s arms, a small spoon nestled within his big. His arm is draped around me and his large palm rests over my heart. I sigh with contentment. The worries of the day seep into my pillow and tight muscles soften as my heartbeat slows down. This is the tantalizing, healing power…
In the 1970’s and 1980’s, two pioneers in marital research were quietly gathering data on how to create happy lasting relationships. Dr. John Gottman’s and Dr. Susan Johnson’s research was initially known mostly among academic circles because therapists were still afraid of doing couples therapy. Gottman’s and Johnson’s research brought an unprecedented empirical foundation to…
If you want an exceptional love relationship – even though you’ve been together for years ordecades? You’ve got to learn to date your mate again. Oxford dictionary defines a date as a social or romantic appointment or engagement. Andwhen you were first dating your partner, you did a great job. Remember? You used to planahead,…
Playing with dad does more than just create fun memories—it provides essential brain-building engagement. Surprising new research from the UK reveals the overlooked ways a father’s playtime involvement uniquely equips kids for academic and social success. “When dads devote time to active play and engagement, there are tangible benefits from involving dads,” said psychologist Dr.…
As I’m writing this, my wife asks “Do you want to come try this?” referring to a new meal she justmade. Do I really need to get up and try this now? I think to myself. After all, I’m writing for TheGottman Institute. Here’s what Drs. John and Julie Gottman say about these moments in…
Editor’s note: This article contains mild sexual content. Dr. John Gottman is not only a ground-breaking relationship researcher and theoretician, he’s also really funny! I highly recommend taking a look at this video for a comical depiction of an all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women in the bedroom: Problems in the Bedroom? Usually sex isn’t an…
Before I begin, I should let you know my expertise in this area – I’ve survived the toddler years with one child, and I’m in the thick of the 2’s with my other. Yes, sure, I’m also a clinical psychologist, Certified Gottman Therapist and Bringing Baby Home educator, but honestly, I know myself when I’m…
John Gottman’s Four Horsemen are well known in the relationship space for leading to relationship demise. However, these types of negative interactions (criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling) can also be generalized to the parent child relationship. In contrast to a couples relationship where there is equal responsibility for healthy communication, the parent child relationship is…
We all desire to belong, whether at our place of work, in our community, or to our spouses. Unfortunately, for many of us, that vital feeling of being the only person in this world is common. Some create a false sense of belonging while others try to conceal their feeling of emptiness. So what do…
