choose-love-over-fear

Choose Love Over Fear

In the realm of relationships, our choices and actions can be driven by two fundamental emotions: love or fear. While fear may seem like a natural response to protect ourselves, operating from a place of love can have a transformative impact on our relationships. By consciously choosing love over fear, we can nurture healthy connections,…

running-headlong-into-heartbreak

Running Headlong Into Heartbreak

To a seasoned couples therapist, the telltale signs of a relationship in crisis are universal. While every marriage is unique with distinct memories and stories, how it looks at its core (the anatomy so-to-speak) adheres to certain truths. We know the bones of love, what builds trust (and breaks it), what fosters connection (and disconnection) from the work of…

the-criticism-defensiveness-cycle

The Criticism Defensiveness Cycle

One of the most common of the Four Horsemen is criticism. The Four Horsemen are what Dr. John Gottman calls the dynamics in a relationship that can lead to relationship distress, demise and potentially divorce. Criticism is when one partner attacks the other person’s character not just an action or behavior. It often sounds like…

keys-to-success-as-a-couples-therapist

Keys to Success as a Couples Therapist

Based on Dr. Dana McNeil’s webinar ‘How To Be a Successful Couples Therapist’ on August 3, 2023. While it may be obvious that couples therapy is different than individual therapy, one can not underestimate the skills it takes to work with a couple. Not only are there two individual personalities to work with but also…

am-i-codependent?

Am I Codependent?

Codependency is not a bad word  Codependency is more common than one may think.  Here are some examples of how codependency in relationships shows up: Blurred boundaries between you and your partner Having a difficult time honoring your own needs and feelings Taking too much responsibility for what someone else does (you try to cover…

the-fear-of-commitment

The Fear of Commitment

Commitment can be a big deal in relationships, but for some folks, the thought of committing can be downright scary. The fear of commitment is a complex issue with various factors at play, including something called attachment style. In this blog post, we’ll dive into what causes this fear and focus on one specific attachment…

how-to-listen-without-getting-defensive

How to Listen Without Getting Defensive

Understanding your partner requires the capacity to listen. Really listen. Couples are advised to hear each other’s complaints without feeling attacked, and as great as this sounds, it’s often unrealistic. When something you said (or didn’t say) hurts your partner’s feelings, there’s a strong impulse to interrupt with, “That wasn’t my intention. You’re misunderstanding me,”…