Workaholics and perfectionists are people who are always on the go, like when everything is done on their checklists, and pride themselves as multitaskers. These types of people tend to be highly analytical and always seem to be tying up loose ends, preventing bad things from happening or correcting what other people get wrong. A…
How can different types of play be a means of developing important lifelong skills for your young child? Turns out, science has discovered that the kind of play traditionally associated with “rough- and- tumble dads”, has clear connections with better school achievement, greater impulse control and focus, improved emotional intelligence and even better peer relations.…
Rekindle passion in your marriage. Jason and Kendra have been married for 12 years and have three children. Most of their conversations are about work, chores, their kid’s activities, and mundane aspects of their stale marriage. Kendra puts it like this: “I love Jason, but the passion just isn’t there anymore.” When Kendra drops this bombshell,…
Relationships are complex and require constant effort to maintain and improve. However, by integrating the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model and Gottman principles, couples can cultivate greater self-awareness, empathy, and communication skills to deepen their connection and build a healthier relationship. In this article, we will explore how these two approaches can complement each other…
The bride of my youth is delighted that I’m writing about defensiveness. She’s been chuckling under her breath at me all week. “How’s your article coming?” she asks. “I’m not exactly sure what to write,” I say. “Just write about yourself,” she teases. You see, I get defensiveness. Which is to say, I get defensive. Often. Defensiveness,…
“Teamwork makes the dreamwork” – John C. Maxwell When I first had children, like so many mothers in this patriarchal society, I tried to do it all. I thought it was a sign of a “good mother” to be with my children all the time or at least as much as humanly possible. I rarely…
One of the hardest things to do in a relationship is to be nice to your partner when you’re upset with them. It’s also one of the most important moments to be kind. Dr. Gottman’s research shows that couples who start arguments gently are more likely to manage conflict effectively, without harming the relationship. In…
In the foreword to my book, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, famed researcher on emotional intelligence, Daniel Goleman, writes: These are hard times for children, and so for parents. There has been a sea change in the nature of childhood over the last decade or two, one that makes it harder for children to learn the basic…
Just recently, on my way home from my private practice, I stopped by a doctor’s office to thankthem for their recent referrals. On my way in, I picked up a mask by their front desk and put iton. As we all know by now, these medical masks have a particular smell. That’s when it all…
Almost everyone I know has heard about John Gottman and the Four Horsemen. When I say almost everyone, I’m talking about friends, couples in my practice, Lyft drivers, and people I strike up conversations with on airplanes. John Gottman and the Four Horsemen have crept into the culture. When one of us mentions the Four…
