In your early twenties, being single is the norm. You’re dating, having fun, and still figuring out who you are and what you want. But as your thirties draw nearer, deep panic sets in. No one wants to be that single friend constantly being set up with men that your friends didn’t want to date. So, some people start to grab on to the first person they can find in a bid not to be the last single guy or gal standing. But other people recognize how monumentally ridiculous this is and remain single into their thirties, forties, and beyond. Others have this realization a little later (better than never) and end the long-term relationship they panicked themselves into all those years ago. And there are some types of guys who stay single for most (if not all of) their lives.
Why?
According to one study which analyzed over 6000 comments from men on Reddit, the most common reasons why men can’t find a partner or remain single is due to:
Poor looks (maybe invest in a haircut now and then?)
Introversion
Low self-esteem
Low effort (sounds more likely)
There are many different reasons why some men remain single. Maybe they’ve just come out of a messy breakup and are enjoying some time on their own. Perhaps they’re focused on their work right now and recognize it wouldn’t be fair to date someone. Or maybe they aren’t interested in being in a long-term relationship—they’re not ready to give up eating cold pizza in their boxers at 10 AM on the sofa without judgment.
In this article, I’ll be exploring the different types of guys who stay single. Some men choose to stay single, while others find themselves single by default. And if you’re a single lady right now, too, pay attention to my recommendation on whether it’s a good idea to date them or not.
19 Types Of Guys Who Stay Single
1. The one who’s an aging player
First up on the list of types of guys who stay single is the player who never grew up. Although it’s not okay when a man juggles women in his twenties, it’s somewhat expected, especially if it fits his bad-boy image. But when a man reaches 40 and is still trying to live a player lifestyle, you can’t help but feel sorry for him. His hair is receding, his tan is looking closer to the shade of orangeade each day, and women are no longer impressed by his water bed (were they ever?). Underneath the waxed chest may be a very lonely and insecure man.
Should you date him?
There is a chance that he hasn’t met the right woman yet. After all, most men do want to be in long-term relationships. There’s no harm in dating an aging player as long as you remember to follow my Little Love Steps—don’t invest in him more than he’s investing in you, and if it becomes clear he won’t commit, it’s time to shout, “NEXT!”
2. The one who feels like he just broke out of jail
This guy has been in a steady, long-term relationship for what feels like forever. There’s just one minor hiccup: they never seemed that happy together. There was no real passion or love there; everything was so beige. And although it was one of the hardest things he has ever done, he broke things off, has taken some time to process, and has a new lease of life. To say that he loves being single wouldn’t be accurate, but he’s darn happy, and you can bet he’s going out on the town tonight.
Should you date him?
Yes! As long as it has been at least a few months since his breakup, this guy has the green light from me.
3. The one who never grew up
Also known as a “manchild,” this guy thinks he wants to date someone. The only problem is he’s not looking for a girlfriend; he’s looking for a new mom. He wants to stay at home and play video games all day while his new mom goes out to work, then comes home and cooks his favorite chicken casserole (like his old mom used to), and he also wants the benefits of having a girlfriend, i.e., sex.
It’s no surprise that high-value women don’t want to be with this guy—he’s got some growing up to do.
Should you date him?
Heck no! You’re looking for a high-value man who can be your equal in a relationship, and that is not this guy.
4. The one who peaked in high school
Types of guys who stay single include those who peak in their teenage years. When you were in high school, this guy was the dream. He was the captain of the football team, the guy who all the guys wanted to be like and all the girls wanted to date. He was handsome, confident, intelligent, and funny. Fast forward twenty years, his cheerleader girlfriend got bored and left him, the closest he comes to sports is watching the game on TV, and the most exciting thing on his calendar is the upcoming high school reunion. He still goes into bars wearing his old letterman jacket and expects women to fall at his feet as they did when he was 17.
Should you date him?
The problem with being popular in high school is that you become used to dating the hottest girls. If this guy can reel his expectations in a notch or two (and ditch the letterman jacket), he might be fun to date.
5. The one who’s finally having some luck with the ladies
At the other end of the spectrum is the guy who couldn’t bag himself a date in his 20s no matter how hard he tried (and he tried hard). But after throwing himself into his career, losing some weight, and replacing all his terrible outfits with new ones, women are finally noticing him. And because the girls have never flocked to him with ease, this guy remains humble. Even though he’s a straight-up 10, he still assumes that every woman is out of his league.
Should you date him?
Yes!
6. The one in the friendzone
Sometimes, even if a man is kind, has a great job, and is looking for a relationship, women aren’t romantically attracted to him. Sure, he’s easy to talk to, but you don’t want to rip his shirt off, and where’s the fun in that? Bless this man. It’s not that he isn’t good-looking, but your pheromones are not doing the tango. And he finds himself back in the friendzone once again.
Should you date him?
Yes. If you go on a date with a guy who ticks all your boxes, but there’s no “spark” there, give it a chance to develop. Go on a second and third date and see what happens. Mr. Friendzone might be your perfect man, but he’s a grower.
7. The one in the closet
The next one on our list of types of guys who stay single is as close to perfect as they come. He has the chiseled jaw, the washboard abs, the great job, and, dare I say it; he dresses better than you do. He’s charming, funny, and you can always count on him to show up for you. There’s just one tiny snag: he’s not into women. But for whatever reason, he’s pretending to be.
Should you date him?
Not unless you’re looking for a gay best friend.
8. The delusional one
You know how we all go through a phase as kids where we’re fussy eaters? “No, mom, I will not eat my peas,” we say and proceed to pick every last one of them out of our omelet.
Well, the delusional one is like this but with women. He is super picky and refuses to date anyone who is not 5″ 10 with a supermodel bust-waist-hip ratio and a thriving career. The funny thing is, this guy is no catch himself. He might have a dead-end job, a crummy personality, or a beer belly. Someone needs to throw a bucket of ice water on this guy.
Should you date him?
Nope. As I mentioned earlier, a high-value man will be your equal in a relationship. He will have a great job, a vibrant personality, and he won’t be so shallow when dating.
9. The one who thinks he has to listen to his parents
Trying to find your life partner is challenging enough already. But this guy has to deal with the heavyweight of his parents’ opinions too, and they have a very rigid idea of what his perfect partner should look like. It’s so bad that anytime he’s on a date, it’s as if his mother is there too, “Rajesh, she’s twice divorced, and she doesn’t even know how to cook rice; she will bring shame on the family!”
Should you date him?
Yes, but tread with caution. Some parents would rather dig their own grave than watch their children date someone they believe isn’t “right” for them. You would think a forty-something man would be past letting his parents tell him what to do, but some parents have their kids firmly under their thumb. Gauge the level of craziness before you get in too deep.
10. The one who’s married to his job
Next up on our list of types of guys who stay single is the workaholic. For whatever reason (a bad breakup, a chip on his shoulder, an over-achiever gene), this man is married to his work. While it’s great that he wants to work hard and make money, he is unwilling to create space for someone special in his life. Usually, it’s because he has been hurt in the past and doesn’t want to risk that again. So he removes the possibility of it happening. But in doing so, he ends up incredibly lonely.
Should you date him?
If you can get this man to face the real issues behind his tendency to prioritize work above all else, you might be able to make him want to change. But there’s no guarantee.
11. The happily hopeless one
Why are some guys always single?
Because love doesn’t seem to be on the cards for them. But instead of moping around feeling sorry for themselves or blaming women, they practice acceptance. Men like this haven’t closed themselves off to the idea of settling down with a woman altogether, but they’re over the current dating scene and won’t go out on a limb to find someone. Plus, they’re so rusty at this point that they have no idea if a woman is attracted to them or not.
Should you date him?
Yes, but if he’s not picking up on your subtle hints, you might have to make the first move or sit around and wait for him to get a clue.
12. The one in a rush
I know that biological clocks don’t apply to men since we don’t lose our fertility as we age. But time can put a lot of pressure on us too. For some of us, the thought of being single and childless in our 40s is terrifying. The man in a rush will wake up one day and realize that he wants a family, and he wants one now. He quickly signs up to all the dating sites (including Christian Mingle, even though he has never set foot in a church) and is on the prowl for a wife.
Should you date him?
Although this is one of the types of guys who are likely to stay single, he is probably a good catch. Just make sure you want the same things he does: marriage and kids ASAP.
13. The one who’s a divorced dad
This man thought he would be with his ex-wife forever, but unfortunately, things didn’t work out. But he will be eternally thankful for that relationship because it gave him his children, and they are his world. While he knows that no one can truly replace their mom, he wants to put another ring on it and try for a happily ever after take #2.
This man has had one too many dating disasters, rejections, and failed relationships, and this has turned him into a bitter, aged man. He is done. And he’ll tell you that he chose to take himself off the market rather than being forced out of it by default. Even if he was lucky enough to meet a fantastic woman, he’s probably not in a place where he can have a healthy relationship, even if he craves one.
Should you date him?
Not until he has done the inner work to heal his wounds and traumas and is ready to meet you with a positive attitude—no one wants to date a negative Nick.
15. The one who’s working on himself
One of the more uncommon reasons why guys are single is because they realize they’ve got some work to do before they’re ready to date, so that’s exactly what they’re doing. And you’ve got to respect them for that maturity and honesty. Instead of pretending they’re ready and then flaking out or ghosting later down the line, they’re acknowledging their issues and working on them.
Should you date him?
Not while he’s still working through his issues. But once he’s done, he might be a dreamboat.
16. The one who hates women
There’s a word for men like this: misogynists. They don’t know a lot about women, but they see you as an object and inferior to them. He will often say things like, “the whole #metoo thing has gotten out of hand,” and “I believe in equal rights, but…” FYI: he does not believe in equal rights.
The a**hole routine used to work for him in his younger days, but today, it just makes him look like an a**hole. Only women with zero self-esteem and self-respect will date a man like this.
Should you date him?
Hard pass.
17. The one who’s single and actually loving it
What do you call someone who chooses to stay single?
This man.
Do men like to stay single?
Yes, a small percentage of them want to be eternal bachelors living in their bachelor pad and never have to upgrade to a house with a porch and swing set in the suburbs.
This man lets the pressure of society, his parents and his friends wash over him like a cool summer breeze. He’s single, happy, and wants everything to stay that way.
Should you date him?
Good luck trying to get him to give up his single crown.
18. The one who’s married but claims he’s single
Now and then, one of these men will pop up on a dating app, and you’ll think it’s too good to be true. He’s charming, he’s successful, and he’s 6″ 2—what more could a girl want? The only problem is that he is too good to be true. He has at least one wife at home and maybe some kids. But he won’t get a divorce. Nope, he’s too selfish for that. He wants the benefits of being married and the perks of being single. Someone needs to tell this man to quit being so greedy.
Should you date him? NO!
19. The one who’s a total stud muffin
And finally, on the list of types of guys who stay single is the one who is the total package. He’s handsome, he went to an Ivy League college, he’s an athlete, he plays the guitar, and he’s a globe-trotter. His career is humming, but he’s also a total family man. The only problem is that he can’t seem to find a woman to meet him on his level.
Why?
Either he hasn’t been lucky enough to meet her yet, or he’s holding out for the perfect woman, which doesn’t exist. And this is causing him a great deal of stress because being single at 40 is not a part of the stud muffin’s life plan.
Should you date him?
Yes, just pay attention to what he says he’s looking for in a woman. If it takes him 30 minutes to answer the question because his list is that long, run.
Conclusion
Maybe you’re thinking, but how do I know if the man in front of me on a date is one of the good guys or one who hates women or is already married?
Follow the Little Love Steps while dating, and you’ll naturally start to weed out the flakes, liars, and commitment-phobes and avoid getting hurt.
Have you ever dated one of these types of single guys?
