Wondering what to talk about with a girl you adore?
Having meaningful conversations is one of the best ways to build intimacy, but coming up with new topics can be challenging.
This comprehensive list of 75 outside-the-box conversation starters will give you and your partner endless hours of laughter, thought-provoking discussion, and heartfelt moments.
From probing questions to playful hypotheticals, these conversation topics will uncover new sides of your girlfriend, address crucial relationship issues, and ultimately deepen your bond in ways you never imagined.
What do you talk about with your special woman to keep things exciting?
We’ve got you covered with 75 awesome conversation topics with a girl that are sure to liven up your dates, bring you closer, and give you something to chat about other than the weather.
1. Childhood Memories
Take a nostalgic trip down memory lane by sharing your favorite childhood stories and bonding over your formative years. Discuss your most treasured memories, whether they were family vacations, birthday parties, or schoolyard adventures. Reminisce about childhood milestones, interests, and hobbies that made you who you are.
Sample Question: What’s your earliest memory? What’s the story behind it?
Pro Tip: Bring out old photos and mementos to truly immerse yourselves in the nostalgia.
2. Bucket List Goals
Sharing your hopes and dreams for the future is an uplifting way to get to know each other on a deeper level. Discuss your individual bucket lists—the experiences you want to have, places you want to see, and achievements you want to accomplish in your lifetime. Identify shared goals you can work towards as a couple, like traveling somewhere exotic or learning a new skill. Visualizing your future together is exciting and romantic.
Sample Question: If you had one year to live, how would you spend it?
Pro Tip: Make a shared bucket list on paper to hang up as decoration and motivation.
3. Pet Peeves
A little lighthearted complaining about things that annoy you gives you an amusing glimpse into each other’s quirks. Vent to each other about your biggest pet peeves, from people walking too slow to finding a hair in your food. Griping about common irritations in life opens the door for lots of laughter, and it feels cathartic to get it off your chest. Just make sure not to take jabs at each other’s actual habits!
Sample Question: What’s a pet peeve you have about other people? What about yourself?
Pro Tip: Don’t be defensive if your partner’s pet peeve is something you do—keep the mood upbeat.
4. Pop Culture Interests
Find out what you and your partner are both currently obsessed with when it comes to movies, music, books, and more. Discuss the pop culture you each follow and any favorites you have in common, like a favorite actor or Top 40 hit you both can’t get enough of. Exploring your shared interests—and being open to enjoying each other’s favorites—is a fun way to connect.
Sample Question: What’s the most recent TV show or movie you’ve binge-watched?
Pro Tip: Make playlists featuring your mutual favorite songs or artists.
5. Relationship Role Models
Discussing relationships you admire gives insight into how you view partnership. Talk about people in your lives whose relationships you look up to, like your parents, grandparents, or an inspiring celebrity couple. Analyze what it is about that relationship dynamic that you want to emulate in your own. This lays the groundwork for what your ideal relationship looks like.
Sample Question: Which celebrity couple do you think has the healthiest relationship?
Pro Tip: Follow inspiring couples on social media together for relationship inspiration.
6. Future Ambitions
It’s motivating to talk about career or passion projects you want to pursue down the road. Confide in each other about your career goals, companies you’d love to work for someday, or creative ventures you hope to start. Discuss how you can support each other in chasing your aspirations. You’ll grow closer as a team when you envision a future together.
Sample Question: If you could switch to any career tomorrow, what would you choose?
Pro Tip: Make vision boards showcasing your individual dreams to hang up together.
7. Family Dynamics
Getting insight into each other’s family backgrounds is crucial. Discuss what your family life was like growing up and how it shaped you. Share family traditions, funny memories, and what you love about your immediate family dynamic. Also, touch on any family issues, like conflicts or estrangements. Discussing families bonds you through openness and understanding.
Sample Question: What’s one of your family’s unique or silly traditions?
Pro Tip: Show childhood family photos to give your S.O. a visual of your family members and history.
8. Physical Intimacy
A mature, honest discussion about your intimacy as a couple leads to a healthier relationship. Have an open conversation about your needs and desires when it comes to physical connection. Discuss ways to improve your chemistry, any boundaries you have, and how to keep the spark alive as your relationship progresses. This builds trust and understanding.
Sample Question: How do you feel our physical chemistry is so far? What can I do to be a better partner?
Pro Tip: Schedule regular check-ins about intimacy to keep communication open as the relationship evolves.
9. Travel Dreams
Nothing sparks wanderlust like talking about your travel wish list. Discuss dream vacations you want to take together someday, like a European tour or tropical beach getaway. Share the destinations at the top of your individual bucket lists and make a master list of trips you want to start planning. Getting inspired about future adventures is exciting.
Sample Question: If we could pick one place to travel next year, where would you want to go?
Pro Tip: Look up flights and hotels together to plan a potential upcoming trip.
10. Life Values
Exchanging your opinions on deeper life issues reveals your true personalities. Have thought-provoking discussions about moral topics like integrity, charity, and honesty that give insight into your core values. Explore philosophical questions like the meaning of life. Debating these weighty topics helps see if your worldviews align.
Sample Question: Is there a cause or charity you’re really passionate about? Why?
Pro Tip: Take an online ethics quiz together and compare your results.
11. Stressors and Coping Mechanisms
It’s important to open up about difficulties you face or things causing you anxiety so you can support each other through challenges. Discuss stresses in your lives, like work pressure, family issues, or financial problems. Share how you personally cope when you’re facing adversity. Leaning on each other will strengthen your bond.
Sample Question: What do you do when you’re feeling overwhelmed or burnt out?
Pro Tip: Make a list of healthy stress-relief activities to try together, like hiking or painting.
12. Friendship Dynamics
Getting to know each other’s friend groups gives you a fuller picture of each other’s lives. Discuss your squad—how you met your closest friends, your funniest memories together, and your favorite things to do as a group. Exchange funny stories about your best friends. Meeting each other’s inner circles will help you mesh your friend groups.
Sample Question: Who in your friend group do you have the most history with?
Pro Tip: Organize a group outing so your friends can meet your S.O. and vice versa.
13. Personal Growth Goals
Support each other in becoming your best selves by sharing personal goals. Discuss ways you want to grow, like learning a language, developing a new skill, or reading more books. Set related goals as a couple, like taking cooking classes or going screen-free one day a week. Sharing your self-improvement aims will motivate you to achieve them together.
Sample Question: What’s something you’ve always wanted to get better at or learn more about?
Pro Tip: Check in weekly on how you’re progressing with individual goals and cheer each other on.
14. Love Languages
Everyone feels loved differently, and discussing yours will improve your dynamic. Share how you each prefer to receive affection—through words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, or physical touch. Identifying your “love languages” lets you tailor your actions to make each other feel valued.
Sample Question: How do you feel most cared for and appreciated in a relationship?
Pro Tip: Take a love languages quiz together and read about how to apply the concepts.
15. Deal Breakers
Get clear on each other’s hard boundaries in a relationship with an open discussion. Discuss behaviors, actions, or traits that would be absolute deal breakers for you, like dishonesty, lack of ambition, or a bad temper.
Outlining what you won’t tolerate protects the relationship. Just be sure to have the conversation respectfully, not confrontationally.
Sample Question: Is there anything that would make this a definite deal breaker for you?
Pro Tip: Be honest, but avoid framing things personally about your partner’s current behavior.
16. Five-Year Plan
It feels romantic and exciting to envision your lives together in the future. Discuss where you see yourselves in five years—your career, living situation, relationship status, and other dreams. Outline shared goals like being engaged, married, or expecting a child. Glimpsing your shared future will make your partnership feel more permanent.
Sample Question: In five years, where would you want us to be in our relationship?
Pro Tip: Make vision boards separately, then share them to see if your futures align.
17. Favorite Vacations
Reminisce fondly about amazing vacations you’ve taken to transport yourself through storytelling. Exchange memories of favorite trips like beach getaways, national park adventures, or winter cabins. Discuss dreamy destinations you’ve visited and what made the experiences so special. This inspires ideas for future getaways together.
Sample Question: What’s the most breathtaking place you’ve traveled to? What about it mesmerized you?
Pro Tip: Show photos from past vacations to bring the memories to life.
18. Interesting Childhood Stories
Your childhood experiences shaped who you are, so sharing formative stories offers meaningful insight. Tell interesting tales from your younger years, like funny mishaps, early achievements, or family folklore passed down about your childhood antics. You’ll get sweet glimpses into what each other was like as a kid.
Sample Question: What’s one of your most vivid early memories from childhood?
Pro Tip: Have your parents tell childhood stories about you that your partner may not know.
19. Life Passions
A great bonding exercise is musing about what makes you enthusiastic about life. Discuss your driving passions, like social causes, favorite hobbies, or career ambitions that get you excited. Ask what motivates each other on a deeper level. Discovering shared passions or admiring each other’s can strengthen your bond.
Sample Question: If you could spend all day doing one thing you love, what would it be?
Pro Tip: Make time in your schedules to enjoy activities related to each other’s passions.
20. Decorating Your Dream Home
Indulge your imagination by envisioning your dream home together—the features, furnishings, color schemes, and amenities you’d choose. Comparing your tastes reveals compatibility and gives fun insight into your personalities. And designing a fantasy shared living space gets you both excited about the possibility of a future home together.
Sample Question: Would you want more of a modern, minimalist home or a cozy, cluttered aesthetic?
Pro Tip: Browse Pinterest boards of dream homes and décor for inspiration on the styles you both enjoy.
21. Personal Heroes
It’s uplifting to talk about people you admire, whether historical figures, celebrities, or people in your own lives. Share who your greatest personal heroes are and what qualities you look up to in them, like courage, talent, or philanthropy. Discussing your role models reveals what character traits you value most.
Sample Question: Who’s someone you really admired growing up? Why did you look up to them?
Pro Tip: Read biographies or watch documentaries about each other’s heroes to learn more.
22. Ghosting Exes
Has an ex that mysteriously disappeared on you? Vent about times partners abruptly ghosted to get closure. Discuss what behaviors caused them to check out and any attempts you made to revive things. Getting this off your chest will help you both avoid repeating the same patterns. Just don’t bash your exes too badly.
Sample Question: Has someone you dated ever ghosted you? How did you handle it?
Pro Tip: Make a promise to each other that you’ll communicate openly if you ever lose interest so neither of you gets ghosted.
23. Wildest Dreams
Fantasizing about wildly adventurous things you want to do will unveil each other’s untamed spirits. Explore dream scenarios like outrageous places you want to have sex, exotic animals you want to ride, or death-defying stunts you want to try. Feed off each other’s sense of adventure and see what hidden wishes it unearths.
Sample Question: If you could break a world record, what would you want it to be in?
Pro Tip: Make a shared “wildest dreams” list to hang up and slowly check off.
24. Relationship Pet Peeves
You both likely have minor relationship habits that annoy you. Discuss this honestly but tactfully so you can compromise. Calmly tell your partner quirks that bother you, like being late, interrupting, or leaving messes. Don’t just complain—offer solutions too. Airing these gently will let you smooth out any bumps.
Sample Question: What’s something small your past partners have done that’s bugged you in relationships?
Pro Tip: Remember to focus on your own irritating habits, too, and take accountability.
25. Embarrassing Childhood Moments
Sharing your most mortifying childhood memories will have you both keeling over laughing. Confess cringey moments from your youth, like wetting your pants at school or spilling in front of a crush. The more you open up with the embarrassing details, the closer and more trusting you’ll become. Just don’t poke too much fun!
Sample Question: What’s the most awkward or humiliating thing you did as a kid?
Pro Tip: To ease embarrassment, tell an equally mortifying story from your own childhood first.
26. SoulmateTheories
Do you believe in destined soulmates or that it takes work to maintain love? Discuss your theories, like “everything happens for a reason” versus “the grass is greener where you water it.” See where you differ on concepts of fate and effort. Decide what outlook you both want to take to build a healthy relationship narrative.
Sample Question: Do you think there’s only one perfect soulmate for everyone? Or can you choose to make it work with multiple compatible people?
Pro Tip: Take a compatibility quiz together online to see if you’re matched in areas that predict relationship success.
27. Favorite Family Traditions
Talking about family traditions you want to carry on someday will spark nostalgia and bring you closer. Describe meaningful rituals like holiday meals, birthdays, reunions, or recipe passed down for generations. Share why specific traditions mean so much. You’ll discover how to blend traditions someday.
Sample Question: What’s a unique family tradition I should know about if I’m going to be part of your family?
Pro Tip: Ask parents or grandparents to recount the origins of meaningful family traditions you want to maintain.
28. Regrets About an Ex
Discussing how past relationships ended can help you avoid repeating the same mistakes. Confide regrets about how you acted in previous breakups, like not fighting hard enough for the relationship or handling the split immaturely. Just don’t get caught up emotionally reliving the past. Focus on the future.
Sample Question: If you could rewrite the ending with an ex, would you do anything differently?
Pro Tip: Write apology letters to exes you didn’t treat well—it can provide closure even if you don’t send them.
29. Defining the Relationship
If you want more commitment, discussing the future of your partnership can give you clarity. Have an open talk defining what you are, where it’s going, and what you both want long term. Share your timeline, goals, and concerns. Having this discussion openly and calmly will align you on how to progress the relationship.
Sample Question: Are we still just dating casually, or have we moved into more serious, committed relationship territory?
Pro Tip: Set a recurring reminder to check in on your status after major milestones like meeting each other’s families or exchanging “I love yous.”
30. Ending a Friendship
Boost understanding of each other’s boundaries by swapping stories about toxic friendships you’ve cut ties with. Discuss the series of events, last straws, and final confrontations that went down. As long as no one is trash-talking, reflecting on these falling-outs can be cathartic while revealing how you handle conflict.
Sample Question: Have you ever needed to abruptly end a long friendship? What happened?
Pro Tip: Don’t talk badly about ex-friends—you can recount honestly without placing blame or calling names.
31. Geeking Out Over _______
Everyone has something they geek out over, whether that’s Star Wars, Pokémon, or knitting. Share the topics or hobbies you each nerd out over that not everyone understands your level of obsession with. Feed off each other’s enthusiasm, and don’t judge if your interests seem geeky to one another.
Sample Question: What’s something you know every obscure fact about that other people think you’re a little too into?
Pro Tip: Embrace your inner geeks together by buying each other gifts related to the other’s geeky interests.
32. Heart-to-Hearts With Mom
It feels intimate when someone trusts you enough to open up about their relationship with their mother. Discuss your honest dynamic with your mom—the type of relationship you have, any tensions, and your favorite parts of your bond. This glimpse into your family life forges closeness.
Sample Question: What have been the most meaningful or memorable conversations you’ve had with your mother?
Pro Tip: Open up about both the positives and negatives to offer the real picture of your complex dynamic with Mom.
33. Riskiest Decisions
Reveal daring sides of yourselves by telling stories of your boldest moments. Share the biggest risks you’ve taken in life, like moving abroad, quitting a job, or trying a fear. Ask what the outcome was. Learning each other’s comfort with risk-taking will uncover compatibility.
Sample Question: What’s the gutsiest, most impulsive thing you’ve ever done?
Pro Tip: Write down new reasonable risks to take together and promise to support one another in taking leaps.
34. Relationship Insecurities
It takes courage to open up about doubts, jealousy, or fears about the relationship—but doing so deepens trust and compassion. Have an honest discussion about your insecurities, listening without judgment. Reassure each other lovingly. Working through these emotions together builds intimacy.
Sample Question: When you’re feeling doubtful or insecure in our relationship, what thoughts tend to go through your head?
Pro Tip: Make a point of verbally validating your partner when you notice any insecurities cropping up to provide reassurance.
35. Things That Challenge You
Everyone has abilities that don’t come naturally. Comparing things you each find difficult gives insight into how you handle adversity. Share tasks that challenge you, like public speaking, assembling furniture, or parallel parking. Discuss how you adapt and problem-solve. It’s bonding to open up about shortcomings.
Sample Question: What everyday skill do you wish came more easily to you?
Pro Tip: Help each other practice these challenging skills to improve together.
36. Sweet Treat Cheat Day
Indulge your sweet tooths together by chatting about your favorite sugary snacks, decadent desserts, and divine candy creations. Discuss the tastiest treats you’ve ever tried, your favorite cheat day indulgences, and dream cakes or pies you’d love to devour. This mouth-watering conversation will have you both craving a sweets date.
Sample Question: What would your last meal request be if you were on death row?
Pro Tip: Surprise each other by bringing your favorite dessert to share as you continue this conversation.
37. Couples Who Inspire You
Get motivated about your own partnership by gushing over celebrity couples or famous romances that give you relationship goals. Pick beloved public pairings and discuss why their chemistry, value, and dedication appeal to you. Pinpoint attributes you want to emulate. This envisioning builds unity.
Sample Question: What famous couple or historic romance do you swoon over?
Pro Tip: Read love letters or watch relationship-focused interviews with your favorite celebrity couples together.
38. Quirks You Adore
Affirming each other’s quirks will build confidence and affection. Share your favorite of your partner’s endearing eccentricities, like their nerdy laugh, obscure obsessions, or habit of singing to themselves. Point out sweet daily mannerisms you adore. Celebrate the little details that make you uniquely you.
Sample Question: What’s one quirk, flaw, or imperfection of mine that you find cute?
Pro Tip: Regularly tell your partner what distinctive traits you cherish about them.
39. Sentimental Gifts
Gift-giving reveals a lot about your different love languages. Discuss the most sentimental, meaningful gifts you’ve given and received. Share why certain gifts touched you deeply, like handmade presents, surprise tokens of affection, or items with nostalgic value. This fosters thoughtfulness.
Sample Question: What’s the most memorable gift an ex gave you? What made it feel so special?
Pro Tip: Make wish lists of sentimental, thoughtful gift ideas for each other for inspiration for birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries.
40. Accomplishments You’re Proud Of
Bolster each other’s confidence and unconditional support by bragging shamelessly about accomplishments and talents you’re proud of. It could be career milestones, athletic achievements, creative feats, or acts of kindness. Bounce off each other’s positive energy as you toot your own horns.
Sample Question: What’s something impressive you’ve done that not many people know about?
Pro Tip: Hang photos of each other’s proudest moments or awards on your fridge for constant encouragement.
41. First Date Horror Stories
Bond over dating disasters by swapping cringey first date stories. Confess the biggest blunders and most awkward moments from past first encounters, like spilling drinks everywhere or getting food stuck in your teeth. You’ll laugh hysterically—and be grateful those aren’t how you met!
Sample Question: What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you on a first date?
Pro Tip: Vow to go into detail and be brutally honest instead of downplaying your funniest dating mishaps.
42. Future Pregnancy Hopes
If you see kids in your future, share your ideal timelines, preferred genders, names, and parenting styles. Paint a picture of the pregnancy journey, birth, and child-rearing experience you envision. Getting on the same page will help you both prepare emotionally and logistically when the time comes.
Sample Question: How many kids would you want to have ideally? What’s your top choice for a baby name?
Pro Tip: Make a shared Pinterest board with baby items, nursery ideas, and parenting tricks that appeal to you both.
43. Judgment-Free Zone
You should feel safe being 100% yourself around each other. Set ground rules that you won’t shame or criticize certain behaviors, even if they go against your preferences. Maybe it’s belching loudly, nerding out over niche interests, or guilty pleasures. Giving each other space to be unapologetically you will strengthen ties.
Sample Question: What’s something you feel like you can’t fully let loose with or tell other people?
Pro Tip: Open up about a part of yourself you once felt embarrassed about but have come to embrace.
44. Exciting Early Dates
Relive fond memories of fun from the honeymoon stage by reminiscing about your favorite dates and adventures early on. Trade stories, laugh over inside jokes, and analyze what you loved about getting to know each other during those romantic moments. This builds nostalgia.
Sample Question: What was one of our first dates that really stands out in your memory? What made it special?
Pro Tip: Scrapbook polaroids, ticket stubs, pressed flowers, or other mementos from early dates to have sweet keepsakes.
45. Tackling Hardships as a Team
When tough times happen, it helps to view the relationship as a team tackling issues side-by-side. Discuss challenges you foresee as a couple and obstacles you’ve already faced. Devise strategies to handle bumps in the road. Framing things as “us versus the problem” unifies you.
Sample Question: What’s something difficult we’ve already successfully worked through together as a couple?
Pro Tip: Make a list of outside supports, like friends, family, or professionals, you can turn to if faced with relationship challenges.
46. Most Memorable Birthdays
Gift someone the story of your life by telling them about milestone birthdays. Share your most memorable birthday moments—both the magical and the disastrous. Discuss favorite childhood parties, surprise celebration, and funny anecdotes. You’ll learn how to create special birthday moments together.
Sample Question: What birthday experience is most vivid or nostalgic from your childhood?
Pro Tip: Splurge on thoughtful gifts or celebration plans related to your divulging meaningful memories.
47. Physical Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs
It’s essential to share the physical qualities and types of touch that attract or repel you. Discuss your top turn-ons and biggest turn-offs sensually and tactfully. Keep it upbeat—don’t insult your partner’s appearance or skills. Identifying these preferences will lead to better intimacy.
Sample Question: What’s one sensory thing that’s an instant turn-on for you? Examples are sounds, scents, locations, and textures.
Pro Tip: Plan romantic encounters incorporating each other’s turn-ons for a phenomenal experience.
48. Cute Coupleness
Get your significant other daydreaming about couplehood by gushing about adorable relationship moments. Recount sweet gestures, inside jokes, nicknames, and other #couplegoals. Tell stories that made you think, “We’re such a cute couple.” Sharing precious memories will make your partner feel treasured.
Sample Question: What’s something we do together as a couple that makes your heart melt every time?
Pro Tip: Recreate your partner’s favorite heartwarming couple moments as throwback tributes.
49. Makeup Sex
Having satisfying “makeup sex” after fights is crucial for resolving tension. Discuss what it is about that raw, passionate intimacy that feels so good physically and emotionally after arguing. Share specific ways to get in the makeup sex mindset when you’re still annoyed at each other. This conversation will lead to great reconciliation.
Sample Question: Do you think makeup sex helps bring couples closer together? Why or why not?
Pro Tip: Flirtatiously plant the idea of mind-blowing makeup sex next time you’re bickering.
50. Past and Present Selves
Journey through each other’s personal evolutions by reflecting on the different life stages you’ve gone through. Reminisce fondly about your childhood selves, share embarrassing tween and teen moments, and detail how you transformed into the people you are now. You’ll learn new insights about forces that shaped you.
Sample Question: In what ways do you think you’re still similar now to your childhood self?
Pro Tip: Share keepsakes like diaries, report cards, and childhood videos to give your partner a window into your past lives.
51. Private Fantasies
Boost intimacy by whispering secret romantic and sexual fantasies you want to someday make realities. Take turns sharing as little or as much detail as you’re comfortable with. Don’t judge each other’s wildest dreams—just embrace the sexy possibilities. Exploring these together builds trust and adventure.
Sample Question: Tell me something adventurous you think about trying with me someday.
Pro Tip: Write down fantasies you both find intriguing and revisit the list on daring date nights when you want to get wild.
52. Ghost Stories
Get delightfully spooked, swapping paranormal stories and supernatural encounters you experienced. Trade your eeriest unexplained incidents, creepiest houses you’ve visited, and any brushes with ghosts, spirits, or UFOs. Debunk or confirm whether you think the stories are legit. These thrilling tales will tingle your spines.
Sample Question: Have you ever seen or sensed a ghost or had an experience you couldn’t explain logically?
Pro Tip: Visit notoriously haunted locations and do a ghost hunt together if you dare.
53. Relationship Role Models
Everyone has relationship role models they look up to, whether it’s friends, parents, or celebrities. Discuss examples of couples you aspire to emulate and analyze the qualities that solidify their bonds. Outline healthy traits you hope to mirror. This will help shape your own ideals.
Sample Question: Which couple we both know has the most inspiring partnership to you?
Pro Tip: Keep photos of your relationship role models handy as a reminder of values to uphold.
54. Venting About an Ex
Get closure over past relationships by mutually venting about an ex who hurt or wronged you. Discuss their annoying qualities, sketchy behaviors, or toxic patterns when you dated. Avoid fixating too much on the negatives—just get it out, then focus on each other. Releasing this together builds trust.
Sample Question: What’s the shadiest thing an ex did that still gets under your skin when you think back on it?
Pro Tip: After venting, shred and throw away an old photo or gift from the ex to symbolize moving on.
55. Gender Roles and Feminism
Explore your viewpoints on traditional gender roles and modern feminism for enlightening conversations. Ask if the other considers themself a feminist and why. Discuss gender stereotypes that still persist. Debating these timely social issues will reveal how you view equality.
Sample Question: Do you feel like we divide household responsibilities fairly based on our gender? If not, how could we balance it?
Pro Tip: Read feminist literature or watch documentaries together to keep exploring these concepts as a team.
56. Secrets to a Happy Life
Life insights come from stories lived, so ask what secrets to fulfillment your elders have shared. Discuss the wisest marriage tips, life lessons, and quotes on how to live happily passed down from grandparents, parents, mentors and older friends. This imparting of generational wisdom will guide you.
Sample Question: What’s the best life or relationship insight you’ve gotten from an elder?
Pro Tip: Call grandparents or older family members together to ask directly for their loving advice.
57. Public Displays of Affection
Discover each other’s comfort levels with PDA so you know how affectionate you can be in public. Some love hand-holding and quick pecks, while others prefer subtle thigh grabs or brushing feet secretly under the table. Discussing this will prevent unwanted PDAs or restrained affection.
Sample Question: Would you say you’re big on PDA or shy about it? What specific types of public affection do you like or dislike?
Pro Tip: Agree on a subtle “PDA signal,” like a code word, light touch, or glance, so you know when your partner’s in the mood.
58. Fighting Fair
Establish rules of engagement for handling conflict productively so disagreements don’t spiral into bigger fights. Discuss strategies like no screaming or name-calling. Share techniques for fighting fair, like taking a breather when upset or using “I feel” statements. This will foster resolution.
Sample Question: What ground rules can we agree on for how to fight respectfully as a couple when we have conflicts?
Pro Tip: Write down your fighting fair guidelines and post them visibly to remind you to uphold them when tempers flare.
59. Morning Routines
Your ideal mornings may differ drastically—and that’s okay. Describe your perfect morning scenarios, including sleep schedules, alone time, conversation levels, and breakfast preferences. Discuss how to give each other space for your ideal a.m. routines. Making mornings work is key for cohabitating.
Sample Question: Realistically, what does your ideal morning before work look like?
Pro Tip: Make two morning vision boards—one for you and one for your partner—to hang in your bedroom.
60. Past Struggles
Your strength as a couple comes from uplifting each other through trials and painful experiences. Open up about hardships you’ve endured, like health crises, bereavement, assault, addictions, or accident trauma. Discuss what gave you resilience. Your empathy and support will help heal past wounds.
Sample Question: What’s been the darkest or most difficult period of your life so far? How did you make it through?
Pro Tip: Research creative rituals like writing healing letters to yourselves that you can do together to foster closure from past struggles.
61. Defining Unconditional Love
Discuss what unconditional love means to each of you. Share your theories on whether it truly exists between romantic partners or is unrealistic. Define what actions exhibit unconditional love, like supporting someone’s dreams or caring for them when ill. Decide if it’s a helpful ideal to strive for or not.
Sample Question: Do you believe loving someone unconditionally is possible? Or do you think there are always limits?
Pro Tip: Make a list of ways you each like to receive love and commit to expressing it unconditionally.
62. Past Heartbreaks
Healing old relationship wounds together can help you avoid repeating harmful patterns. Open up about ways exes broke your heart, like betrayal, dishonesty, or disinterest. Share how long it took you to recover and what helped mend your heart. Listening with empathy rather than judgment will be soothing.
Sample Question: What’s the most painful thing an ex ever did that crushed you at the time? How did you eventually make peace with it?
Pro Tip: Exchange past heartbreak songs or poems that resonated with each of you during the healing process.
63. Relationship Green Flags
Just as important as red flags are the positive green flags that show someone will be a great partner. Share the promising behaviors, traits and values you are looking for, like empathy, responsibility, and humor. Discussing these builds a solid foundation.
Sample Question: What “green flags” made you realize early on I was relationship material?
Pro Tip: Make lists of relationship green flags you each think the other embodies. Keep them in your wallets as reminders.
64. Past Lives
Have fun probing your spiritual sides playfully chatting about who you both may have been in past lives based on your personalities. Ask what time period and location your partner imagines you lived in, what you did for a living, and what their past self’s connection was to you. Feel free to get creatively mystical!
Sample Question: If you had to guess, what do you think I was like in a past life.
Pro Tip: Take a “past life” quiz together online to compare your results.
65. Pride in Your Heritage
Connecting through your roots breeds closeness. Discuss your family backgrounds, cultural heritage, and ethnicities you embrace. Share family immigration stories or genealogy research. Talk about traditions and values you inherited that bring you pride. Exploring your histories together honors your bond.
Sample Question: What part of your family history or ethnic background are you most proud of?
Pro Tip: Cook traditional recipes from your cultures to let your partner taste your heritage.
66. Road Trip Soundtrack
Craft your dream road trip playlist together by taking turns naming songs. Include favorite sing-alongs, beloved ballads, guilty pleasure tunes, and reflective acoustic songs perfect for long drives. Make a collaborative Spotify playlist to blast on future adventures together.
Sample Question: If you could pick only one song to play on repeat the entire ride, what would you want it to be?
Pro Tip: Surprise your partner by curating a themed playlist inspired by their song requests as a gift.
Have your minds and conversations wander “out of this world,” chatting about extraterrestrial life. Discuss your beliefs, skepticisms, and theories related to aliens, UFO sightings, Area 51, satellite imagery, space exploration, and the possibilities of other lifeforms in the galaxy. This escape from earthly thoughts is bonding.
Sample Question: Do you think there is intelligent life on other planets? Why or why not?
Pro Tip: Go stargazing together in a remote spot—the darkness sparks the imagination.
68. Complementary Qualities
Affirm how you enrich each other’s lives by outlining how your opposing strengths balance. Discuss qualities you admire in your partner that you lack, like logic, spontaneity, optimism, sense of direction, or athleticism. Share how you help balance each other. Fostering appreciation of how these traits fit together cultivates unity.
Sample Question: What’s something that comes easily to you in our relationship that I sometimes struggle with?
Pro Tip: Make lists of each other’s complementary strengths and tape them up in your home as reminders of how you complete each other.
69. Love vs. Lust
Determining whether emotions are fleeting infatuation or deeper lasting love reveals how ready you are for commitment. Analyze how your feelings for each other differ from the short-lived lust you’ve felt before. Define the contrasts between superficial attraction and profound attachment. Your conversation will offer clarity.
Sample Question: How do you think our connection is different than an intense but temporary crush?
Pro Tip: Journal separately about the distinct feeling of being in love compared to just intensely lusting after someone when you’re apart.
70. Grieving Together
The grieving process after a loss is a little easier when you help lift each other up. Confide in your partner about losing someone close to you, like family or friends. Share your stages of grief and how you’ve coped. Discuss how to best comfort and support each other through bereavement when it inevitably arises.
Sample Question: What’s one thing that helped you emotionally when you were grieving someone’s death in the past?
Pro Tip: Light candles and leave flowers at gravesites together to heal and pay tribute to past losses.
71. Defining Love
How do you conceptualize the complex emotion of love? Explore different interpretations—is it a choice, unconditional, accepting flaws, putting someone first, overcoming differences? Share philosophies from your past experiences, studies, or literary definitions that resonate with you. Discussing these ideals unifies yours.
Sample Question: Which definition of love do you think is most accurate.
Pro Tip: Read poetry, literature, psychology books, and articles about the meaning of love together.
72. Happy Cry Moments
Get to know what moves each other to joyful tears by recounting experiences that touched you so beautifully they brought actual cries of happiness. Share what moments, gestures, or surprises first made your partners tear up with gratefulness, relief, or love during your relationship so far. Recounting these tender moments deepens your bond.
Sample Question: When have you ever cried from pure happiness in your life? What happened that moved you so emotionally?
Pro Tip: Recreate a loving moment that first made your partner cry joyful tears to remind them how deeply they’re cherished.
73. Achieving Forgiveness
To err is human, but to forgive is divine—and key for couples. Discuss times in past relationships when you forgave a serious transgression through deep soul searching. Analyze if you believe forgiveness means forgetting or just finding peace. Share how reflecting on hurts with compassion rather than anger can heal.
Sample Question: How do you personally work through forgiveness when someone you love seriously messes up?
Pro Tip: Meditate together on the concept of forgiveness—it can strengthen empathy and open-mindedness.
74. Dark Dislikes About Yourself
Even the most self-confident people harbor private dislikes about themselves. Confess relatively minor shortcomings or insecurities you grapple with, like perceived defects or habits you critique. Voicing shameful confessions requires courage and brings liberation. Just don’t spiral down rabbit holes of self-loathing.
Sample Question: What’s something you pretend doesn’t bother you about yourself that actually privately causes a little shame or embarrassment?
Pro Tip: After sharing dislikes about yourselves, offer genuine compliments about those same qualities in your partner.
75. Honesty vs. Compassion
Philosophize about the balance between honesty and compassion in relationships. Ask if total, blunt truth is always the best policy for a couple or if a “half-truth” told kindly preserves the greater good. Share examples from your own life. Decide together which school of thought suits you.
Sample Question: Is it better for a relationship when partners are totally, brutally honest? Or are some small lies or omissions justified?
Pro Tip: Take turns roleplaying responses to scenarios that require weighing honesty, compassion, and ethics.
Tips for a Conversation to Have With Your Girlfriend About These Topics
Chatting about heavy or delicate issues with your girlfriend? The key is bringing up these conversation topics in an open, thoughtful manner that strengthens your bond instead of causing tension. Here are some tips to make these talks feel productive:
Pick a relaxed time when you’re both in a positive mood. Don’t launch into serious topics when you’re hangry or exhausted.
Balance deeper discussions with lighthearted topics. Don’t spend all your time together dwelling on serious or heavy subject matter. Follow an intimate chat by planning something fun you both enjoy.
Listen attentively instead of just waiting for your turn to talk. Reflect back on what you hear.
Ask thoughtful follow-up questions that show your interest in understanding her perspective.
Don’t get defensive if she expresses a viewpoint you disagree with. Validate her feelings.
Offer empathy about her experiences instead of judgment.
Find common ground in your opinions and experiences when possible.
Crack jokes periodically so the conversation doesn’t get too heavy.
End challenging chats on a loving note and appreciation for your willingness to be vulnerable with each other.
The goal is deepening your understanding, not winning an argument. While discussing these topics, sincerely connecting will bring you closer than you thought possible.
Topics You Should Avoid Talking About with Your Girlfriend
While open communication is key, certain topics are better left unsaid in a relationship. Broaching risky subject matter can breed resentment, injure self-esteem, or ignite conflict. Here are some conversations with your girlfriend that are wise to avoid:
Ex’s Accomplishments
Bragging about the achievements of an ex or someone you used to date plants seeds of insecurity in your current partner. Whether it’s mentioning past vacations taken together or your ex’s job promotions, shining the spotlight on an old flame feels like a slight. Keep the focus on making new memories with your current love.
Her Insecurities
We all have body image or confidence issues at times. But harshly highlighting your girlfriend’s insecurities through teasing or criticism will crush her self-worth. Instead, give loving compliments and point out all the qualities that make her beautiful.
Your Wandering Eye
Confessing that you find yourself checking out or fantasizing about other women will deeply hurt your girlfriend’s feelings. Keep those thoughts private and redirect your energy toward fully appreciating your partner’s beauty.
Past Sexual Chemistry
Commenting that the sexual chemistry was hotter with one of your exes or comparing their skills to your current girlfriend’s abilities can sow deep doubts. Keep that sentiment to yourself and make your partner feel like the most desirable lover.
Her Friends’Flaws
Trash-talking or complaining about your partner’s friends – even if you feel your critiques are justified – puts her in an awkward spot. Venting these thoughts breeds negativity. Focus instead on bonding with her inner circle.
Planning a Guy’s Night
Floating the idea of a guy’s night or trip before locking down plans with your girlfriend first makes it seem like she’s an afterthought. Prioritize quality time with your partner when scheduling social events to avoid stinging her feelings.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, the best conversations you’ll have are the ones where you both speak openly, listen deeply, and connect intimately. If you approach all talks with the intention of understanding vs. judging, any topic can strengthen your love. May these questions inspire endless heartfelt discussions and bring you closer.
