You’re not looking to become a different person — but a few ”how to be a good gf” tips couldn’t hurt, right?
First, pat yourself on the back.
Taking time to polish your partner skills and scoop up a few girlfriend tips means you’re caring and kind.
He’s lucky to have you.
Now, open a notes app — because we’re about to reveal the qualities of a good girlfriend, tips about what not to do, plus 25 actions that will make him fall further in love.
What Makes a Girl a Good Girlfriend?
Being a good girlfriend requires an authentic base. Trying to be someone you’re not to please Mr. Wrong is a colossal waste of energy and emotional resources. But once you’ve got that down, work on cultivating the following:
Respect: Being respectful to your boyfriend, his friends, and his family should be a priority. Rude and inconsiderate is never a good look. But don’t confuse respect with subjugation. Aim for a partnership of equals.
Confidence: Secure people who proudly wear their confidence are exceptionally attractive. Arguably, self-assurance is more alluring than beauty.
Thoughtfulness: Being a good listener is a valuable life skill. Thoughtfully remembering the little makes you stand out.
Responsibility: Do you want a serious relationship? Is marriage on your wish list? If so, responsibility is vital. People prefer to partner with those they can trust.
Kindness: Do you talk about people behind their backs? Are you nasty to strangers or walk around with an air of superiority? If so, reconsider your approach. Men usually aren’t enamored with catty, hypercritical women.
How to Be a Good Girlfriend: 25 Thoughtful Actions
We’ve reviewed a few general tips on how to be a good girlfriend. Now, let’s unpack the nuts and bolts by looking at 25 thoughtful actions you can do for your partner.
1. Cook His Favorite Dinner Unexpectedly
It may be a cliche. But it’s true: The way to a person’s heart is through their stomach! Whipping up your partner’s favorite meal is always a welcome treat.
2. Plan a Friends Night
Guys appreciate a woman who doesn’t get upset about their time with friends. If you want to take it to the next level, why not plan a night for him and the boys. No, you shouldn’t stay.
3. Give Him a Massage
Massages do a body good. They improve circulation and reduce physical stress. A girlfriend who knows how to give a killer rub down is worth her weight in gold.
4. Plan an Intimate Night
Has your sex life been waning lately? Spice things up with an intimate evening. Go the extra mile and get some new lingerie or maybe even a few fun adult toys.
5. Let Him Pick the Movie
Do you always pick the movie? Does your guy dutifully sit through rom-coms and period pieces? Give the guy a break and let him pick the movie next time.
6. Text Him Something Special
Being a good girlfriend doesn’t always need to involve a huge effort. Sometimes, sending the perfect text message at the right time is more impactful than elaborate plans.
7. Dress Up for Him
Sometimes, we don’t pay much attention to how we look and dress when we’ve been in a relationship for a while.
For the most part, it’s fine. But dressing up for him every once in a blue moon is a nice thing to do.
8. Tell Him How Lucky You Are
Relationships fall into routines. We do and say the same things, week in and week out. So remember to flatter your man and tell him how lucky you are to be in his life. Guys love praise.
9. Turn Off Your Phone
Is your phone an appendage at this point? They’ve become such a ubiquitous part of life we’ve become oblivious to our own “check rates.” But part of being in a healthy relationship is turning off devices and tuning in to your partner.
10. Close the Door on the Past
Living in the past is pointless. It’s over. There’s nothing you can do about it. So don’t drone on and on about previous boyfriends or skeletons in your history closet. Shut the door and move forward with your current relationship.
It will make you a better girlfriend — and a better person.
We’re not advocating for toxic positivity — but letting go can be akin to a miracle.
11. Spend a Starry Night Together
Few things are more romantic than a night under the stars. Power down your devices and make undivided time for each other.
Pick the perfect spot, grab a bottle of something good, and don’t forget a blanket to wrap around. Talk or don’t — the choice is yours.
12. Give Him a Coupon Book
Coupon books are fun whether you’re 25 or 95! You can buy a set here or make your own. But don’t go back on your promise. If he presents a coupon, be prepared to deliver within 24 hours.
Pro Tip: Add an expiry date — because every good relationship has limits!
13. Let Him Sleep In
Sleeping in is a rare and decadent luxury. So orchestrating a day where he can hit snooze indefinitely can help you rack up significant-other points. Throw in breakfast in bed with a laptop queued to his favorite movie.
14. Get Him a Gift Certificate
Retail therapy is a universal cure-all. If your man is navigating a patch of rough waters, give him a pick-me-up with a gift card. Get one for his morning coffee run or favorite store. The price and place are secondary; it’s the gesture that’s memorable and endearing.
15. Let Him Have the Last Piece
You’re at opposite ends of the table. Between you sits the last piece. Sprouts of tongue water shoot anticipatory pleasure signals to your brain. You crave it so badly — but there’s just one left.
As excruciating as it may be, good girlfriends let their partners have it in these situations. Or split the difference and offer to share.
16. Get Tickets for His Favorite Thing
It may not be your thing, but he loves what he loves — and part of being a good partner is occasionally suffering the tortures of a Korn cover band, comic book convention, or a traveling costume fair that reeks of damp hay and drumsticks.
Baking can be meditative, the result is something yummy, and there’s even a scent-satisfaction cherry on top. How can you go wrong!? So if you’re brainstorming nice things to do for your boyfriend, consider making a tray of cookies, muffins, or smores!
18. Mow the Lawn
Is mowing the lawn more of a chore than pleasure for your man? Surprise him by doing it yourself or hiring a landscaper for the week. Choosing the former is a great workout.
19. Buy a Special Bottle
Every once in a while, budget permitting, it’s fun to splurge on a bottle of something nice. It adds a special spark to the night and lets him know he ranks high in your life.
20. Upgrade His Coffee
It’s such a small thing, but occasionally splurging for a better bag of coffee can be a welcome treat. It also shows that you pay attention to life’s mundane things and always look for ways to make his life brighter.
21. Let Him Off the Hook
Are your parents visiting the week your boyfriend has a hectic work schedule? Instead of forcing him to meet up, suggest that he duck out of family obligations. He’ll be eternally thankful and realize he’s got a keeper in you.
22. Tidy Up
Experts agree that living in a clean, organized space decreases stress and augments serenity. So consider tidying up your boyfriend’s place. However, if he’s particular about where things go, skip this.
It’s also not a great move if the relationship is young. People can be prickly about other folks going through their things.
23. Clean Out His Fridge
You open his fridge, and a tidal wave of stink slaps you in the face. He probably notices the stench too but is too lazy to fix the issue.
Show him your domestic side and handle it. Besides, once it’s done, you won’t have to deal with the foulness anymore either!
24. Get Him Sports Tickets
Is your guy a super fan? One surefire way to earn good girlfriend points is to score tickets for a game. If seats for professional games are out of your budget range, look into local teams. Going to a “minor league” game can be a ton of fun!
25. Talk Him Up
Everyone appreciates an ego boost. So when you’re in a group, talk up your man! But don’t go overboard. After all, nobody likes a braggart.
How Do I Stop Being a Difficult Girlfriend?
The road to good partnerships is paved with authenticity. Pretending to be someone different never works in the long run. But honing your skills and polishing some rough edges is not the same as acting phony.
To that end, let’s look at what to avoid if your end goal is cementing the relationship.
Stop Fighting: Sure, fighting can sometimes lead to mind-blowing sex. But non-stop arguing and nagging is about as appealing as sour milk. Plus, it’s exhausting, and nobody cherishes an energy-zapping relationship.
Stop Accusing: Jealousy is ugly, and most guys hate when girlfriends accuse them of cheating. We’re not suggesting you look the other way when it comes to infidelity. Don’t settle for less than monogamy if that’s what you want! At the same time, don’t point your finger at your partner if you don’t have proof.
Stop Judging: People are who they are, and it’s unkind to nit-pick at other folks’ faults. It’s also unattractive. Insecure people act like the resident dump truck; confident women are kind. So stop talking trash and judging others behind their backs.
Stop Smothering: It’s great having a partner with whom you can spend time — but clingy is bad. If you’re wondering how to be the best girlfriend, start by having your own life.
Stop Flirting: Do you like it when your partner flirts with other people? Exactly! So refrain from doing the same. Few relationships pass the jealousy test.
Relationships should be rewarding, and the good ones don’t require you to re-chisel your contours. However, adding a few good habits never hurt anyone. Be genuine, thoughtful, and independent-minded. The rest will take care of itself if it’s right.
