Or perhaps some of his social media posts have raised an eyebrow or two.
Whichever the case, you’ve likely landed here because you’re wondering if the guy you’re dating is bisexual.
Questioning your boyfriend’s intimacy preferences doesn’t make you a bad person.
Heck, who doesn’t want to know the sexual orientation of their partners?
It’s completely normal.
So to help you better wrap your head around the situation, today, we’re looking at potential signs a man is bisexual.
How can you tell if the guy you’re dating is bisexual?
What are some male bisexuality signs?
It’s not an easy answer.
After all, personalities aren’t a monolith. Personal experience, cultural influences, and genetics contour character and behavior.
That said, certain behaviors — (especially when several present themselves) — may indicate a guy is bisexual. Let’s explore a few.
1. He Flirts or Is Overly Close With Other Guys
If the gentleman in question is “out,” he may straight up flirt with other men in front of you. If he’s still hiding his sexual identity, he may become overly “chummy” with males he finds attractive.
Of course, guys can have good friends, and it’s terrific when men have buddies with whom they can open up and tell everything.
But if he cannot go more than a few days without spending private time with his “bestie,” the relationship may be more than a platonic friendship.
2. You Have Intimacy Issues
Sexuality exists on a spectrum commonly known as the Heterosexual–Homosexual Rating Scale, aka the Kinsey Scale. The premise is that people fall somewhere between 0 and 6:
0: Exclusively heterosexual
1: Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2: Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3: Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4: Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5: Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6: Exclusively homosexual
The Kinsey Scale also includes an “X” category for individuals with “no socio-sexual contacts or reactions.”
So, if the guy you’re dating is a “four or five,” intimacy issues may become an issue between you two.
3. His Libido Is Hyperactive
It may sound contradictory, but hypersexuality is another sign of bisexuality.
People who fall smack in the middle of the Kinsey classification often have exceptionally high libidos, so they’re open to intimacy with people regardless of gender.
Please don’t read us wrong. We’re not saying that bisexual and homosexual individuals are more promiscuous. Many “straight” people are also hypersexual. It’s simply another indicator that may provide a clue when combined with other factors.
4. He’s Very Tactile With Other Men
Is your guy always physically hanging on other men? Is he constantly touching other guys and “roughhousing” in a way that ostensibly crosses the line?
Again, we’re not talking about regular tactileness. There’s nothing wrong with guys hugging each other — and standard locker-room antics are par for the course. But if he seems more into being close to other guys when you’re out and about, open yourself to the possibility that your man may be bi.
Unfortunately, most cultures still have entrenched taboos when it comes to sexuality. Bluntly speaking, heterosexuality is the norm, and people who fall outside the narrow classification are subject to ridicule and discrimination.
Many bisexual, homosexual, and pansexual people hide their intimacy predispositions to “fit in.” They may overcompensate by saying and doing overtly homophobic things.
6. He Talks a Big Game (And Doesn’t Deliver)
Is the man in question a “big talker” when it comes to his sexual prowess? Does he present himself as the second coming of Wilt Chamberlain, the old-school basketball star who once claimed to have slept with 20,000 women in his lifetime?
But when it comes to performing, he doesn’t measure up. Is he constantly finding excuses why he can’t have sex?
This is a common sign that someone’s sexual orientation doesn’t align with their self-proclaimed hype.
7. He Gazes at Other Man
When you’re socializing with other people, do you catch your man gazing at other guys? Do you feel like a third wheel sometimes? A trophy or prop by his side to present a picture of “normalcy?” If so, the guy in question may be gay or bisexual.
However, avoid jumping to conclusions. We’ve all been in situations where we think we know someone and therefore stare at them a little longer. Moreover, he could be looking at someone or something else, and it just appears like he’s focused on another guy.
If it becomes a pattern, though, you may want to strike up a conversation about his sexual preferences. Calmly and compassionately explain your perceptions and see where the talk leads.
8. He’s Very Secretive
Is getting information out of your man akin to getting your teeth pulled — i.e., torturous? Is he a fountain of one-word answers? Does he offer up very little information about his past and present?
Many things can lead to this behavior, including hiding one’s sexuality. He may have internalized homophobia and, as a precaution, tries to hide his true self.
9. His LGBTQ+ Friends Are Cagey About His History
Many articles about how to tell if the guy you’re dating is bisexual advise that having LGBTQ+ friends is a sign.
But we disagree.
It’s become much more commonplace for people of different orientations to mix, mingle, and form solid and meaningful friendships. Some would even argue that it’s highly unusual not to have friends who are bi, pan, or gay.
However, if his LGBTQ+ buddies are very cagey about your partner’s exploits, they may be keeping his secret.
10. He Uses Neutral Pronouns
Have you ever had a long conversation with the person you’re dating about their sexual past? If the relationship is still new, you may not have, and that’s normal. But if you’ve been together for over two months, and the topic has yet to be broached, you may want to start asking pointed questions.
When you do, pay attention to what pronouns he uses. Does he stick to neutral options? Instead of saying girlfriend or wife, does he say “partner” or use “they” instead of “her?”
Again, this isn’t a slam-dunk sign. It’s becoming increasingly common to use non-gendered terms. But if you’re curious, ask why they do. If he becomes uncomfortable with the question, he may be bisexual or pansexual.
11. You Catch Him Watching Same-Sex Adult Material
Have you ever caught him watching bi or gay porn?
When it comes to signs that the man you’re dating is bisexual, this is one of the more solid ones — because let’s be bluntly honest: so-called “straight” guys typically don’t find guy-on-guy action appealing.
If you catch him, he may insist he thinks it’s “funny” or it was a “joke.” But think about it: What is humorous about it? Most folks don’t watch same-sex adult material for intellectual humor… it’s about carnal pleasure.
Of course, if your man is a sex psychologist, you likely have nothing to worry about; he’s probably just doing research.
What Should You Do if You See Bisexual Signs in Your Boyfriend
The guy you’re seeing is exhibiting several signs of bisexuality. So now what? What should you do? Ultimately, only you can answer that question. However, let’s unpack possible next steps.
Decide what you want: First and foremost, consider how you feel about dating someone who is bi. Are you cool with it or not? Think long and hard about your answer. Not wanting to date someone with same-sex tendencies doesn’t make you a bad person in and of itself. After all, everyone has sexual preferences.
Have a conversation: If you’re confident he may be hiding aspects of his sexuality, the best thing to do is to chat about it. Don’t beat around the bush, though. Come right out with the question. Couching the issue in ambiguity will only cause more confusion, and you probably won’t get to the heart of the matter. If he reveals that he is bi or pan, the next step is determining your comfortability with that fact.
Talk to your friends and family (if they’re not homophobic): Explain the situation and solicit their opinions. Have they seen anything? Has he said anything to them that raised an eyebrow?
Should You Break Up with a Man Who Is Bisexual?
The big question is whether you can handle dating and building a partnership with someone who is bisexual. Some people are fine with it, and others aren’t. Both are fine. Not wanting to develop a relationship with someone isn’t the same as discrimination or hate.
After all, everyone has their deal breakers.
So consider the following:
Religious Convictions: Right or wrong, people must be true to themselves. So if your religious devotion prevents you from being with people who aren’t heterosexual, be honest with yourself and them about it.
Your Emotions: Does the thought of your boyfriend sleeping with other guys make you feel a certain way? Again, if it’s not your thing, that’s fine. The key is to let honesty light your path — and not let your preferences metastasize into prejudices and discrimination.
Future Intimacy: Some bisexual people need physical intimacy with men, women, and non-binary people to enjoy a satisfying sex life. If the person in question falls into that category, will you be okay with that? It may require “sharing” your partner with others.
Final Thoughts
Dating is complicated; everyone has personal preferences, and developing fulfilling partnerships requires excellent communication and unfailing honesty.
So start with yourself. Determine your parameters, then go from there. If you’re true to your goals and desires, things will fall into place as they should.
