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February 8, 2022 — 11:41 AM
Codependency happens in relationships, especially families, when one person supports or enables destructive or negative behavior like addiction, immaturity, acting out, irresponsibility, or even laziness.
Among the core characteristics of most codependent people is a desperate need for approval to foster a sense of identity. This can manifest in doing things for people they can do for themselves, creating an environment that allows or at least doesn’t discourage destructive habits, minimizing irresponsible behavior, or covering up things that ought to be addressed.
The difference between support & codependency.
We often think our codependent behavior comes from a place of love and caring, but often it has the opposite result. Before you “CLEANSE,” it is important to understand the difference between being supportive and being codependent.
When you are helping or supporting another person, you both feel the benefits. For example, you might help your teenager apply for college—they are responsible for getting good grades and writing their essays, while you look into financial aid. Each of you is doing your part, and each of you will experience the benefits of doing so.
Codependency is different; it can feel like one person is doing most of the work, while the other person is doing less or staying stuck and somehow getting more. Another way you know if you are in a codependent relationship is if your life revolves around someone else.
In other words, their wants, needs, desires come first all the time no matter what. A “CLEANSE” will help you get clear on what is really happening and illuminate how you can heal and begin to create healthy boundaries.
A codependency CLEANSE-ing technique:
Tone your vagus nerve by imagining you are smelling the scent of lemon or lavender. Inhale through your nose as you take the fragrance in, then fully exhale through your nose. Pause for a moment.
Ask the following questions out loud and then take one inhale and one exhale. Observe how your body responds after each question:
“How I feel in my body right now is”…inhale through your nose…exhale through your nose.
“Having these strong emotions now makes me feel”…inhale…exhale…
“When I can’t control what is happening, it makes me feel”…inhale…exhale…
“Surrendering this situation now makes me feel”…inhale…exhale…
“When I cling to the problem or person, it makes me feel”…inhale…exhale…
Hum three to six times with your mouth closed and your tongue pressed to the roof of your mouth.
See it! Visualize an image of balance, nourishment, wholesomeness, and health. Perhaps a huge garden full of strawberries, squash, melons, tomatoes, and more.
Feel it! How would it feel to pick some of those fruits and vegetables right now? Taste the strawberries and savor their sweetness.
Say “I allow purity. I allow naturalness. I allow detachment. I allow nourishment. I allow release. I allow wholesomeness. I allow health.”
Say “I am healthy. I am balanced. I am secure. I am released. I am nourished. I am free.”
