One of the most common dating questions that dating experts get asked is, ‘How can I look and feel confident on a first date’. We asked our good friend, Jayne Porter at Matchmade in Wales to share her thoughts on this with you and it’s a great read. Get your note book at the ready. Over to Jayne.
First dates can be an exciting yet nerve-wracking experience. While you may be looking forward to getting to know someone new, the pressure to make a great first impression can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of anxiety. While it’s perfectly normal to feel some nerves, the right mindset and a few simple strategies can help you conquer them and approach the date with confidence. So, let’s dive in and discover how to put your best foot forward!
Plan Ahead
One of the best ways to feel confident on a first date is to plan ahead. Choose a location that aligns with your interests and where you feel comfortable, so you can relax and enjoy the experience.
Planning some topics of conversation beforehand can help to avoid awkward silences and keep the conversation flowing, but don’t rely too heavily on a script. Be flexible and responsive to your date’s interests and conversation style.
Pamper Yourself
Take some time to pamper yourself before your date. Get your hair styled, have a manicure, or pedicure. Treat yourself to a massage or a facial. Doing something that makes you feel good about yourself will boost your confidence and help you feel more relaxed.
If you’re wearing makeup, avoid trying new products or techniques on the day of your date, as this can lead to stress and uncertainty.
Also, make sure you get a good night’s sleep the night before. You’ll look more refreshed, and you’ll feel better too.
Listen To Your Favourite Music
Get into the right mindset before your date by listening to your favourite music. Play your go-to playlist while you’re getting ready and sing along. This can put you in a good mood before heading out.
Dress for Success
The way you dress can have a big impact on your confidence level. When it comes to deciding what to wear, select something that makes you feel comfortable and stylish. Think about wearing colours that are the most flattering on you, or statement pieces that show off your unique style.
It’s also important to consider the location of the date and what the appropriate dress code is.
Use Positive Self-Talk
Your inner dialogue can have a significant impact on your confidence levels. Instead of letting negative thoughts or insecurities take over, replace them with positive affirmations instead.
Remind yourself of your strengths and what makes you unique. For example, you might tell yourself, “I am confident and worthy of love,” or “I am interesting and engaging, and my date is lucky to be with me.” Focus on your good intentions and the outcome you hope to achieve.
By changing the way you talk to yourself, you’ll begin to feel more positive and self- assured, which will translate into your interactions with your date.
Practice Good Posture
Your body language can also play a significant role in how you come across on a first date. Good posture can help you look and feel more confident, while slouching or fidgeting can make you appear nervous or unsure of yourself.
To practice good posture, try to keep your back straight, your shoulders relaxed, and your head held high. Avoid crossing your arms, as this can seem closed off or defensive.
Be Present in the Moment
It’s easy to get caught up in your own thoughts and anxiety on a first date, but staying in the moment can help you feel more confident and engaged. Focus on what your date is saying, their responses, and ask follow-up questions. Not only will you show them that you’re interested in what they have to say, but it can also help you feel more comfortable and connected with them.Additionally, try to be present in your own body. Pay attention to your breathing, and take a few deep breaths if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Remind yourself that you are in control of your own reactions and emotions.
Avoid checking your phone or looking around the room while your date is talking. This can signal disinterest and make you appear distracted. Instead, give your date your full attention and try to be present in the moment.
Be Yourself
It’s important to be authentic and true to yourself on a first date. Trying to be someone you’re not can be exhausting and stressful, and it’s unlikely to lead to a successful relationship. Instead, focus on being your best self. Share your interests, values, and personality with your date, and try to find common ground. If you’re nervous, it’s okay to acknowledge it and share your feelings. Your date is likely to appreciate your honesty and vulnerability.
The goal of a first date is to get to know each other and see if there’s a connection. Being yourself is the best way to achieve this goal and build a meaningful relationship.
Remember, your date is interested in you, not a version of yourself that you think they’ll like. By showing your true self, you’ll give them a chance to get to know the real you.
Be Confident in Your Conversations
Don’t be afraid to share your passions and opinions with your date. You’ll come off as more interesting and attentive if you take an active role in the conversation.
Remember to listen to your date and ask questions as well. Showing a genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings will make them feel appreciated and valued.
Your attitude and energy can affect the outcome of the date. Smile and be positive, make eye contact, and avoid complaining or criticising others.
Practice Relaxation Techniques
If you’re prone to anxiety or nervousness, practicing relaxation techniques before your date can help you feel more in control. Consider trying deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or visualisation techniques before your date.
Deep breathing can help to slow your heart rate and calm your mind. Try inhaling deeply through your nose, holding your breath for a few seconds, and exhaling slowly through your mouth. Repeat this several times until you feel more relaxed. Progressive muscle relaxation involves tensing and releasing different muscle groups to help release tension and promote relaxation. Start by tensing your toes, holding for a few seconds, and then releasing. Move up your body, tensing and releasing each muscle group.
Visualisation techniques involve imagining a calming or positive scenario, such as lying on a beach or enjoying a beautiful sunset.
Above All, Have Fun!
In conclusion, looking and feeling confident on a first date takes a little bit of effort and preparation, but it’s worth it. By dressing to impress, practicing good posture, using positive self-talk, being yourself, and staying in the moment, you can make a great impression.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your date – just go out there, have fun, and let your confidence shine!
