The holidays can bring feelings of anxiety and overwhelm, but these tips can help you set the boundaries you need.
By
- Jonathan Alpert, Psychotherapist, executive performance coach, and author of Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days. Twitter: @JonathanAlpert
As you head into the final stretch of this holiday season filled with family gatherings and cheer, you might find yourself stressed and anxious as you spread yourself thin and try to pull off the perfect gift or party. The rampant consumerism and commercialization that dominate doesn’t help, either. We are, after all, a Nation driven by the dollar more than anything else, so this is not surprising. That said there are things that you can do to try to make a change and have a calmer remainder of the holiday season, even if only within yourself and close circle of friends and family.
Here’s what to do:
1. Reject materialism. Accept the notion that materialism is not an expression of what the holidays truly represent, nor do extravagance and expensive gifts equal happiness. These ideas are driven more by Hallmark and Hollywood more than anything else.
2. Give the gift of an experience. Keep in mind that the most memorable gift you can give someone is an experience, not a material item. People remember activities and experiences long after the fleeting excitement of a toy, article of clothing, or other material gifts. For example, I was recently taken on a birthday trip in a seaplane. This provided lasting memories well beyond what an article of clothing could ever provide and offered breathtaking views of Manhattan.
3. Make a choice: participate in it or don’t. If you’re having money woes or not sure what to get someone, then be creative and spare the craziness of the last minute rush to stores. Set an example for friends and family by doing something that reflects your beliefs. Be creative by making greeting cards and giving homemade gift certificates to your friends and family spelling out how you’ll treat them. For instance, offer to spruce up your parents’ yard come Spring time or help a friend with babysitting. In lieu of cheesy grab bags at the office party suggest donating to a worthy charity.
4. Gain control. Know that you actually have control over what you participate in and what you don’t. Ask yourself: do I have to attend every party or am I saying yes because I feel pressured to do so? Don’t feel compelled to accept every invitation. Get comfortable saying “no” to what you don’t want “yes” to the things you truly believe in. Doing so will help you to feel less resentful and stressed and much calmer during the holidays.
5. Examine your negativity. Scrooge isn’t just a fictitious character. There are some who strongly believe the holidays are nonsense and serve no purpose. Think about it, can you glean something positive from the season? By making small changes to how you think, you’ll be able to make big changes in how you feel.
And of course, remember the tried and tested stress management essentials: eating healthily by setting limits with your intake of holiday spirits and food, exercising to burn stress, getting proper rest, and being flexible with your schedule.
For more tips on living a healthy stress free life check out my book Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days.
Jonathan Alpert, Psychotherapist, executive performance coach, and author of Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days. Twitter: @JonathanAlpert
Jonathan Alpert is a psychotherapist, columnist, performance coach and author in Manhattan.
As a psychotherapist, he has helped countless couples and individuals overcome a wide range of challenges and go on to achieve success. He discussed his results-oriented approach in his 2012 New York Times Opinion piece, “In Therapy Forever? Enough Already”, which continues to be debated and garner international attention.
Alpert is frequently interviewed by major TV, print and digital media outlets and has appeared on the Today Show, CNN, FOX, and Good Morning America discussing current events, mental health, hard news stories, celebrities/politicians, as well as lifestyle and hot-button issues. He appears in the 2010 Oscar-winning documentary, Inside Job commenting on the financial crisis.
With his unique insight into how people think and their motivations, Alpert helps clients develop and strengthen their brands. He has been a spokesperson for NutriBullet, Liberty Mutual insurance, and Enterprise Rent-A-Car.
Jonathan’s 2012 book BE FEARLESS: Change Your Life in 28 Days has been translated into six languages worldwide. Alpert continues to provide advice to the masses through his Inc.com, Huffington Post, and Thrive columns.
@JonathanAlpert
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.