…. or how easily we can get lost in our relationships
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By
- Lubka Strhakova, Women’s and Relationship Coach and Expert, Speaker at Nibana
Something in her opens, she is receptive and turned on. He comes around and she falls for him almost instantly. He seems to be saying all the ‘right’ things and knows what to do in her presence to really impress her.
She forgets it was her opening and turn-on that caused him to be so brilliant in her presence. She finds goodness in anything he says or does.
And here, right here … she does what many before her have done…
She forgets it’s HER and makes it all about him. Suddenly it’s not her turn-on, but his skillset. It’s not her being open, but the way he can do the right thing at the right time. Suddenly she can’t see her own self but sees only him.
She unconsciously places all her power and magnetism into his system without him even asking for it. She does it by forgetting it was all HER. That all that power and magnetism was in her body. She just wanted to rest in the beauty of this new romance and have someone else carry this ‘burden’ for her.
“Because he makes her feel so special.”
It’s now over there and she has to keep putting attention on him and has to do all sorts of things to make him feel good because that’s where her power is placed. Deep down she senses it, so she keeps ‘feeding him’.
Putting attention on him to nourish it, because intuitively she knows it needs to be fed.
He wonders why she keeps doing all these weird things, he was so happy the way it was at the beginning. He loved her magnetism. That’s what brought him to her in the first place.
She knows something is not right and does all she can to adjust HIM, to change him, to control him, because it’s hers inside and she KNOWS it has to be taken care of.
While he wonders, why is she trying to change him?
“Where is that woman I fell in love with?”
“Was it all just a game?”
“Was she just pretending?”
One day, she does not know why, but she does not feel as good as she did when they met. She doesn’t feel very attractive and he is so charming and amazing.
They walk on the street and he looks at that other woman flirtatiously, exactly how he used to look at her. She feels jealous and envious of this woman and angry at him. Stories of ‘all men are the same’ or ‘they get enough and go after the younger one’,…… all those stories get confirmed in those moments. He’s been more interested in other women than her lately and she doesn’t understand why.
She wants to scream and shout and smash something in a raging fit.
“How could he?”
“Did I not give him enough?”
“Did I not love him enough?”
“Am I not enough for him?”
She forgot.
She forgot it was not him, but HER this whole time.
She is angry at him and wants him to take all the blame for this ‘failure’.
She invested so much and here she is, once again following the same cycle as she did before.
She forgot it was never his to feed, to hold, to take care of.
She forgot this ‘burden’ was her greatest asset, her most important gift.
Her own power and magnetism that can move mountains and when taken care of well.
This tremendous power that affects those around us, shines a light and moves mountains. She forgot it was on her to do the foundational work to get right with it and honour it within her. (She got so deeply self-involved with her own insecurities that she’d rather place it in his body in the hope he will know what to do with it and her having to rest on his shoulders)
I hope she really feels that anger all the way.
I hope and pray that she gets angry enough to look at her pattern and decides to break from it.
I hope that she gets frustrated enough to question what was her part in this whole process.
I hope that she remembers she poured all her magnetism into him hoping he’ll stay or appreciate her more or even helps her carry it.
I hope she remembers that nothing is more important than her own turn on and magnetism and that it needs to stay in her own body to get cherished, nourished and appreciated.
I pray that she remembers this time who she really is and claims it back.
I pray that she decides to feed and nurture it inside of her so they both can feed off of it.
I pray she gets to experience being with a brilliant man while nourished and magnetic…. not only for those first few months
That she gets to fully understand what being magnetic really means and how important it is for her to make it the number one in her life. And that making herself a priority is what can feed those around her.
I pray that she gets to remember what it really means to RECLAIM her Magnetism.
Lubka Strhakova, Women’s and Relationship Coach and Expert, Speaker at Nibana
Co-founder at Nibana, specialising on Women’s and Relationships work; and founder of Lubka S Art.
Artist at heart, Lubka has always been interested in human psyche and what drives our relationships. She has had keen interest in Psychology since young age.
She graduated a year long training program in Family Constellations Therapy and has 5 years of practice in this field.
She continued to deepen her education by studying Psychology at Open University in London; followed by Coaching program with focus on Life & Relationship coaching with Tony Robbins & Cloe Madanes; and is a Master Certified Coach and OM Trainer at Onetaste coaching association.
A co-founder of TurnON Britain, a company dedicated towards personal growth, Lubka spent 6 years learning aboutConscious Relating, Connection, Intimacy; and Feminine run business.
During this journey, shetaught 100’s of people and supported 100+ people via one – on – one or group coaching.
She’s an expert in Emotional communication and loves working with people that want to have morefulfilment in life and their relationships; more Intimacy and better connection with people around.
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