Managing Regret in Divorce

Divorce regret is common amongst couples who are new to the process. Working as a top-rated divorce lawyer in Monmouth County, New Jersey, I’ve experienced speaking with both women and men who have second thoughts about finalizing their divorce. This is completely normal and you are not alone. It’s best to weigh both sides, before making an impulse decision and potentially regretting a divorce. If mental or physical abuse is not present in your relationship, and rather you are simply tired of your spouse, or bored with your love life, here are three ways to help you avoid divorce regret:

Focus On Strengths

What are some of your partner’s strengths? Find a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. Make a list of their great qualities and not-so-great qualities. If their positive traits outweigh their negative ones, then you should possibly reconsider the divorce process. Maybe the two of you could potentially work through your issues. After making this list and evaluating it, you will discover that your marriage could withstand its issues, and you could avoid having to experience divorce regret.

Find The Silver Lining

Some people are longing to be married. This statement reigns true especially considering the predicament our country is currently in, regarding isolation and government mandates. Ask yourself, “Do I REALLY want to be alone right now?” Your marriage might be a bit rocky, and you might have times when you wish you probably weren’t married…but take some time to sit back and think about if you really want to be by yourself. As mentioned before, your marriage issues could be worked out if the two of you communicate effectively. Finding the silver lining in your situation is another way to potentially avoid divorce regret. 

Forgive

Forgive yourself, as well as your partner for your respective roles in behaviors that may have led to you considering a divorce. This will of course depend on what the actions are, and if abuse is involved, this dramatically changes the approach here. Sometimes, people make impulse, irrational decisions. As long as it isn’t done repeatedly, I recommend extending grace. Forgive yourself for entertaining the idea of a divorce before you had a chance to speak openly to your spouse about your issues. Also, forgive your spouse for not being the person they were in the beginning of the marriage (or whatever other issue you have with them). Nearly everything in life is repairable…including your marriage. Through forgiveness, you’re also able to avoid experiencing the regret that comes from finalizing a divorce. 

In conclusion, some couples may believe the best option for them is to file for a divorce. However, divorce regret is a common occurrence that some experience in the future. To avoid the painful and stressful experience of potentially regretting your divorce, it is recommended to focus on their strengths, find the silver lining, and forgive yourself and your spouse. 

DISCLAIMER

This article contains general information and opinions from Sheena Burke Williams and is not intended to be a source of legal advice for any purpose. No reader of this article should act or refrain from acting on the basis of information included in this article without seeking legal advice of counsel. Sheena Burke Williams expressly disclaims all liability with respect to actions taken or not taken based on any content in this article.