Are you killing your relationship by comparing it to everyone else’s relationship? – Here’s what to do instead to get the answers you seek. When you are in a relationship it’s natural to compare what you have, to what other people have. When you doubt your relationship you begin asking yourself certain questions. You start to imagine your relationship is lacking something. You wonder if the ‘proverbial’ grass is greener on the other side. Sometimes we might even catch ourselves thinking, “Is this it?” Flash, no two relationships are alike.
In times like these, it’s easy for our brain to go into a loop and start questioning how much time you spend together as a couple, the activities you do together and where it’s all likely to end up in the future. It’s natural to look at other couples and try and compare what you have, to what they have.
No two relationships are alike
Even past relationships that you have experienced aren’t exactly the same as your current situation. Every partner you chose is different and will bring their own ways of doing things to the table. How can you expect your friends’ love life to be exactly the same as yours? This line of thinking tends to lead to more doubts, musings and will make you wonder, “What if…”
You can continue to do this, but if you are in a healthy relationship then you can run the risk of losing everything, by coming off as scared of commitment. Unfortunately, not everyone knows what a healthy love life looks like.
We learn from those around us
It’s very rare for a relationship to be perfect all the time. It’s common for you to have doubts, inhibitions, or worries. In that case, the best thing to do is to discuss them with your partner. You might discover you are both having the same thoughts, therefore, it’s easily fixed or improved.
In order to know a person is right for you, it’s best to look inside yourself for the answers.
Ask yourself probing questions about how the other person makes you feel. Do they make you feel safe and secure? Do they make you feel like you are important and loved? Can you see a future with this person? Do you feel free and happy around this person, or do they tend to drag you down? Do they make you feel negative emotions more often than you’d like? Does this person consistently frustrate you while you keep thinking it will get better, but it never does?
Only you can determine the answers to these questions. And by all means, remember no two relationships are alike.
