Some alpha men are too self-involved, arrogant, and status-obsessed to maintain healthy, mutually respectful relationships.
But others make fantastic partners.
They’re great providers, romantic, and in the right circumstances, fiercely loyal.
But as is the case with every personality type — (and human being, for that matter) — alpha-ism exists on a fluid scale bound by a socio-contextual framework.
For example, some guys may be equal parts alpha and sigma at home but fill a beta role at work.
Or, they could be more of a gamma with friends and an alpha at the office.
How To Know if an Alpha Male Likes You
You’ve got an alpha male in your sights — or perhaps you’re already casually dating.
Whatever the case, you’re wondering what he’s thinking.
How will the gentleman in question act with you if he likes you? In most cases, he’ll:
Treat you like a queen
Shower you with compliments
Show up when it’s important
Have no problem spending hours talking to just you
Are you on the dating market and looking for an alpha male? Authenticity is a cornerstone of dating success; being yourself is vital to finding a partner who’s right for you.
So we’re not suggesting you do a personality makeover to “land an alpha male.”
But if the qualities and traits below are already parts of your whole, it’s not a terrible idea to enhance them when flirting with and dating alpha men.
1. Femininity
Status is a primary motivator for alpha males. They want to be in the mix and lead the crowd. If Center Stage is empty, they’ll gladly fill it.
Resultantly, alphas often cater to mainstream norms — because pseudo or parasocial relatability, in addition to mass appeal, are critical ingredients of the popularity potion.
And though we’ve made social strides over the past several decades regarding gender equality and identity, femininity is still valued in women — and it’s what most alpha men prefer.
That doesn’t mean you can’t be sporty, rugged, or successful; alphas like all that — especially when wrapped in a highly feminine package.
2. Engaging / Charming
When they’re ready to commit, alpha males envision themselves as part of a power couple. Some pair with partners who are equally successful but require less of the limelight. Others want someone who doesn’t necessarily have their own professional passions but is a charming, engaging conversationalist as their perpetual “plus one.”
The goal is to be clever, funny, and well-informed without coming across as an overbearing know-it-all.
3. Good-Looking
If you’re wondering how to attract an alpha male, take great care of your appearance. Because as superficial as it sounds, alpha males generally partner with attractive people.
But why?
For starters, alphas usually put a lot of effort into their looks and want someone who matches their aesthetic goals. Secondly, they aim to win at everything, so they typically don’t settle for anything “less.”
Interestingly, some alpha males believe they’re a lot better looking than they actually are and, to use a colloquial term, will “punch outside of their weight class.” Since they’re often successful and charming, it works. (Case in Point: the late Ric Ocasek)
4. Emotionally Independent
Alpha males are enamored with their inner worlds — to the point where they may not have much time for others’ emotions, including their partners’. This isn’t always the case, but the chance is greater than 50% when picking from a pool of alphas.
To their credit, most alphas know this about themselves and tend to partner with people who don’t have intense emotional needs. Sure, if things are especially fraught, they may plan a romantic night and tend to your needs. But they’re not the type of guys who want to deal with partner drama daily. Alphas have better things to do.
5. Supportive
The end goal of alpha males is to “summit” the top — whatever that means to them. And in their mind’s eye, they usually succeed with a supportive partner by their side.
But being a partner to an alpha male can be tricky. He may never admit when he’s wrong; an alpha may get so wrapped up in his own world that he forgets you’re part of it.
Ultimately, alphas are looking for “the great woman behind the man” trope.
What Makes Alpha Males Fall in Love?
Arguably, an alpha male’s guiding light is purpose. They have firm goals and strive to conquer life. As such, they’re usually in the market for a partner who fits well into their planned trajectory.
However, alpha males can be egotistical and shy away from partners who are equally dominant or impressive. After all, they don’t mind being the stars of every show.
That doesn’t mean every alpha male is an attention-grabbing horror; many are polite, accommodating, and unfailingly gentlemanly. Regardless, most have an inner compass pointing them toward the proverbial throne.
Other characteristics that alphas find alluring and appealing include passion, integrity, high status, gratitude, and independence.
People commonly believe that alpha males prefer to date submissive women. And while it’s not entirely false, it’s also not completely accurate.
In some ways, many alpha men feel more comfortable in traditional partnerships where he gets to lead, and their partner walks one step behind. And sure, in certain situations, alphas want to hog the limelight.
Simultaneously, alphas are dynamic people who don’t want to waste time with meek, sniveling crybabies. In fact, alpha guys prefer self-sufficient partners with their own lives and goals — especially if their potential significant others occupy high-status spaces but don’t compete with the alpha in their lives.
How an Alpha Male Pursues a Woman
As discussed, alpha males come in a variety of personality types. Some are narcissists; others are chivalrous teddy bears wrapped in Herculian bodies.
But wherever they fall on the alpha scale, most of them adhere to certain standards, moves, and tactics when they discover someone they want to date.
1. He Prefers To Make the First Move
Alpha males are often more traditional than modern-minded. That doesn’t mean they’re reactionaries stuck in the Bronze Age, but most prefer to make the first move. If you want a guy who doesn’t mind ladies to lead, consider partnering with a sigma or gamma guy.
2. He’s Chivalrous
Alpha guys are the ones who will make sure they walk between you and the street; when the car stops abruptly, they’ll shoot their arm out in front of you. Ultimately, they’re chivalrous and want to make their partners feel safe. It’s a win-win because being protective feeds the alpha ego, and when not overdone, it’s comforting for their partners to be on the receiving end of such noble-minded concern.
3. He Will Flirt Seductively
Alpha males are nothing if not confident. As such, they’re not afraid to flirt…aggressively and seductively. That said, most know where the line is and won’t cross it. Be careful of their charm offensive if you want to play hard to get — because alpha males can make you feel like the only worthy person in the room.
4. He May Show Jealousy
As mentioned, alpha guys lean a bit more traditional — and their testosterone sometimes gets the better of them. When it happens in a dating capacity, they may show their feelings by behaving jealously.
Some people find jealousy endearing in small doses; others don’t tolerate it on any level. So if you fall into the latter category, an alpha man may not be your best match.
Note, however, that excessive jealousy can be a red flag — especially if it’s reached the point of isolation. So keep an eye out for the line and protect yourself if he crosses it.
5. He May Show Vulnerability
A surefire way to tell if an alpha male feels what you’re throwing down is if he’s vulnerable with you. Has he begun to open up about his feelings and non-professional goals? If so, take it as an excellent sign.
Guys with this personality style know what they want, and when they see it, they don’t let go easily. Moreover, alphas understand what it takes to keep the objects of their affection around.
6. He’ll Make a Grand Gesture
Alpha males aren’t afraid of the spotlight. In many cases, they crave it! So it’s not unusual for them to make grand gestures when they find partners they adore. It may be a private-but-elaborate dinner, a surprise with the gang, or even a spontaneous vacation somewhere memorable.
Whatever the gesture, understand that if it happens, it’s a sign that the alpha man is head over heels for you.
Final Thoughts
Like every human on the planet, alpha males have good and bad qualities. But for independent, status-oriented, go-getters, alphas can be the ideal personality type with which to partner.
If that sounds like you, we hope these tips were helpful. Now get out there and snag the alpha of your dreams!
