Why Get Married Today?
You know that moment when you’re scrolling through social media and see another engagement announcement, and you find yourself wondering: Is marriage still worth it? Maybe you’re deeply in love with your partner but questioning whether a wedding ring really changes anything. Or perhaps friends and family keep asking when you’re getting married, and you’re not sure how to answer.
In a world where couples live together for years without tying the knot, where divorce rates seem constantly debated, and where traditional relationship models are evolving, the decision to get married deserves thoughtful consideration.
Not every couple chooses marriage, but research has shown that those who build a strong foundation of friendship, navigate conflict with care, and remain committed to one another tend to form a deep connection that offers lasting comfort and support. Marriage, at its heart, is more than a ceremony or legal contract—it’s a shared framework for partnership, one that can weather life’s challenges and fully embrace its joys.
Understanding the Modern Context of Marriage
Is Marriage Still Relevant in Today’s Society?
The answer? It depends on who you ask. Relationships are deeply personal to the people who are in them.
Modern marriage has evolved from a primarily economic or social arrangement to something much more personal and intentional. Today’s couples choose marriage as a way to commit to building a life together, sharing not just resources but dreams, challenges, and growth.
Research consistently shows that married couples report higher levels of life satisfaction, better health, and more stability compared to their single counterparts. But it’s important to understand that these benefits come from the quality of the relationship, not just the legal status.
Marriage vs. Cohabitation: What’s the Real Difference Today?
The Commitment Factor: To some, marriage involves a public declaration of commitment that goes beyond personal feelings. It’s a promise made not just to each other, but to your community, your families, and yourselves that you’re in this for the long haul.
Legal and Social Recognition: Marriage provides legal protections and social recognition that cohabitation may not. From hospital visitation rights to tax benefits, there’s no denying that there are legal benefits to tying the knot.
Trends and Shifts in Marriage Attitudes
Marriage today looks different than it did even a generation ago:
- Later Marriage Age: People are waiting longer to marry, often bringing more life experience and self-awareness to their partnerships.
- Equality Focus: Modern marriages emphasize partnership equality, with both spouses contributing to household management, childcare, and financial responsibilities.
- Intentional Choice: Rather than following social expectations, today’s couples choose marriage deliberately, often after careful consideration and preparation.
Why Get Married Today: 8 Powerful Reasons
1. Deep Emotional Bond and Commitment
When you make the commitment to marry each other, you’re not just saying “I love you”—you’re saying “I choose to keep loving you, even when it’s difficult.” There is more commitment to working on the relationship when times get tough because there is so much more at stake. And every relationship takes intentional work to be successful, so the challenging times are an opportunity to deepen connection.
In a longitudinal study of 130 newlywed couples, Gottman found that commitment to the relationship—defined as a decision to invest in the relationship even during hard times—was one of the strongest predictors of marital stability and satisfaction over the years.
2. Financial Advantages
Marriage in the United States provides significant financial benefit that can impact your life in meaningful ways:
- Joint tax filing (often resulting in tax savings)
- Automatic inheritance rights
- Social Security survivor benefits
- Health insurance coverage options
- Joint ownership of property and assets
The reality is that these factors remove some of the financial pressures of today’s world and offer distinct advantages for married couples.
3. Legal and Health Benefits
In the United States there exists a bias towards married couples. They are afforded certain privileges that are more difficult for non married committed partners to access. Marriage provides crucial healthcare rights that unmarried partners often find harder to obtain:
- Hospital visitation and medical decision-making rights
- Access to partner’s health insurance
- Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) benefits
- Rights to medical information and treatment decisions
4. Stronger Family Structure for Raising Children
While you certainly don’t need to be married to be good parents, children can benefit from the stability that marriage can provide.
Research has found that on average, children in households with married biological parents experience more stability (fewer household transitions) than those in cohabiting households, and that stability is linked to better outcomes for children.
However, the benefits are strongly tied to relationship quality, not marriage status alone. Children in high-conflict marriages may fare worse than those raised by cooperative, separated parents.
Brown et al., (2009) found that happily married couples with healthy communication and conflict resolution skills tend to stay together longer, providing more consistent family structure, as well as pool resources more effectively for children’s needs (Kenney, C.T. 2004).
5. Long-Term Security and Stability
In our uncertain world, marriage can provide a foundation of stability that helps you weather life’s inevitable storms.
This security can potentially show up in these ways:
- Emotional security: Knowing someone is committed to you through good times and bad
- Financial security: Combined resources and shared financial planning
- Social security: A built-in support system and advocate
- Future security: Someone to grow old with and care for you
6. Religious or Spiritual Fulfillment
Across many religions, marriage is more than a legal union—it is a sacred covenant. It represents a lifelong commitment made before God, rooted in love, mutual respect, and shared purpose. Whether seen as a promise, duty, or spiritual partnership, marriage serves as a framework for deep connection, guiding couples to support one another through happiness and challenge. It can represent:
- A sacred covenant blessed by your faith community
- An opportunity to live out spiritual values of love, commitment, and service
- A way to honor your religious traditions and values
- A foundation for raising children within your faith tradition
7. Tax and Estate Planning Advantages
In some countries, marriage provides significant financial planning advantages that can benefit you throughout your lives and beyond:
|
Benefit Type |
Marriage Advantage |
|---|---|
|
Tax Filing |
Joint filing often reduces overall tax burden |
|
Estate Planning |
Automatic inheritance rights, no estate tax between spouses |
|
Retirement Benefits |
Access to spouse’s Social Security and pension benefits |
|
Gift Tax |
Unlimited gifts between spouses without tax implications |
|
Property Rights |
Joint ownership and community property protections |
8. Psychological Wellbeing and Reduced Loneliness
Research consistently shows…
- People in high-quality, happy marriages report lower levels of depression and anxiety than those in unhappy marriages or those who are divorced.
- People in supportive marriages tend to have lower cortisol responses to stress and recover from stress quicker.
- High-quality marriages are linked to better immune functioning.
- Happily married individuals report higher life satisfaction compared to single or those in unhappy marriages.
- High-quality marriages are associated with lower loneliness Hawkley, L.C., & Cacioppo, J.T. (2010)and greater social support, which are both important for mental and physical health.
The key word here is “happily.” Marriage itself doesn’t guarantee these benefits, but a good marriage can significantly enhance your mental and physical health.
Common Misconceptions About Marriage Today
Marriage Is Just a Piece of Paper
This is one of the most common misconceptions about marriage, and it misses the deeper significance of what that “piece of paper” represents.
Yes, a marriage certificate is a legal document. But it’s also:
- Legal protection for your partnership
- A symbol of your choice to prioritize this relationship
- A framework for building a shared life together
Marriage Is Only for Religious People
While many people choose to marry within a religious context, marriage is fundamentally a human institution that transcends religious boundaries.
- Civil ceremonies can be deeply personal and significant
- Many couples create their own rituals and traditions
- The commitment and legal benefits remain the same regardless of religious involvement
- You can honor your own values and beliefs within marriage, whether religious or not
Marriage Doesn’t Work Anymore
This misconception often stems from looking at divorce statistics without context.
Here’s what the research actually shows:
- While some marriages do end in divorce, many marriages are happy and fulfilling
- Couples who receive pre-marital education and counseling have significantly lower divorce rates
- The skills for building a successful marriage can be learned and practiced
The key isn’t whether marriage “works”—it’s whether you and your partner are willing to do the work that makes marriage successful.
When Marriage Might Not Be the Right Choice
Avoid Marriage for the Wrong Reasons
Marriage should be entered thoughtfully, not rushed into for the wrong reasons. Consider whether you might be considering marriage because of:
External Pressure:
- Family expectations or pressure
- Cultural or social expectations
- Feeling like you “should” be married by a certain age
- Friends getting married around you
Practical Convenience:
- Health insurance benefits
- Tax advantages
- Easier living arrangements
- Visa or immigration status
Fear-Based Reasons:
- Fear of being alone
- Fear of losing your partner
- Fear of missing out
- Pressure from a partner threatening to leave
While these factors might be considerations, they shouldn’t be your primary motivation for marriage.
Signs You May Not Be Ready for Marriage
Be honest with yourself about your readiness. You might want to wait if:
- You’re hoping marriage will fix problems in your relationship
- You haven’t had important conversations about future goals, finances, and values
- You’re dealing with significant personal issues (addiction, untreated mental health challenges, major life transitions) that need attention first
- You feel pressured into marriage rather than genuinely excited about it
- You and your partner handle conflict very poorly and haven’t developed better communication skills
- You have significant doubts about your compatibility or your partner’s character
Remember: There’s no rush. Taking time to prepare for marriage is always better than rushing into it unprepared.
How to Know If Marriage Is Right for You Today
Checklist: Are You and Your Partner Marriage-Ready?
Communication and Conflict Resolution:
- You can discuss difficult topics without attacking each other
- You both listen to understand, not just to respond
- You repair well after arguments
- You feel heard and respected by your partner
Shared Values and Goals:
- You agree on major life goals (children, career, lifestyle)
- You share similar values about money, family, and priorities
- You support each other’s individual dreams and goals
- You both want marriage for positive reasons
Individual Readiness:
- You know yourself well and are comfortable with who you are
- You can be happy and fulfilled as an individual
- You choose your partner rather than feeling you need them
- You’re prepared for the responsibilities of marriage
Practical Considerations:
- You’ve discussed finances openly and honestly
- You’ve talked about household responsibilities and expectations
- You’ve considered how you’ll handle extended family relationships
- You’ve discussed your hopes and concerns about marriage
Seeking Counseling or Guidance
Consider pre-marital counseling or guidance if you:
- Want to strengthen your communication skills
- Have concerns or questions about your relationship
- Come from very different backgrounds or families
- Have experienced significant challenges in your relationship
- Want to give your marriage a strong foundation
Pre-marital counseling can help you:
- Identify and address potential areas of conflict
- Learn effective communication and conflict resolution skills
- Clarify expectations and goals for marriage
- Strengthen your emotional connection and intimacy
Remember, seeking help before problems arise is a sign of wisdom, not weakness.
Final Thoughts: Why Get Married Today?
Marriage as a Modern Act of Love and Partnership
In today’s world, choosing marriage is a powerful statement. It’s a way to say, “Despite all the challenges and uncertainties in life, I choose a life with you.”
It’s not about following tradition for tradition’s sake. Marriage is about creating a partnership that honors both your individual identities and your shared dreams. It’s about choosing love not just as a feeling, but as a daily commitment to showing up for each other.
Marriage is a deeply personal choice. For some, it’s the right path to deepen commitment and build a shared future. For others, love and partnership thrive outside of marriage—and that’s just as valid and beautiful. What matters most is that the relationship you build reflects your values, your vision, and your unique connection.
Embracing a Fulfilling Future Together
The question isn’t whether marriage is perfect—no relationship is. The question is whether you and your partner are ready to commit to growing together, supporting each other through life’s seasons, and building something meaningful together.
If you’ve found someone who makes you want to be your best self, who shares your vision for the future, and who you can genuinely say you want to grow old with, then marriage might be one of the most beautiful adventures you’ll ever embark on.
