Do you believe he may regret ending the relationship?
A breakup is always hard, especially when the other partner initiated it.
Naturally, you’re wondering if he’s having such a hard time as well, and in fact, he may very well think he made a mistake.
There are some definite signs he regrets losing you, especially if he feels you’re “the one that got away.”
Here are several signs of dumper’s remorse.
17 Signs Your Ex Regrets Dumping You
If your boyfriend broke up with you and you’re wondering if he regrets it and feels just as bad as you do, if not worse, wonder no more. Here are some of the most common signs of dumper’s remorse:
1. He calls you when he’s drunk.
Have you ever had someone use the excuse that they did something foolish because they were drunk? Have you ever heard something like, “It’s the alcohol, not me talking”?
Well, your ex seems to think it’s a great excuse when he drunk-dials you. In reality, he does it deliberately and wants you to feel sorry for him while he can dismiss what happened.
Then, he can claim he forgot whatever he said and didn’t know what he was doing. It’s the perfect cover-up. Recognize this as one of the signs of dumper’s remorse.
2. He texts you during the holidays.
You generally expect an ex to move on after a breakup, including forgetting about their former partners during birthdays and other holidays.
One of the signs of dumper’s remorse is when your ex texts you during a holiday with the special day being the excuse. He’s not supposed to be a part of your life anymore, so what gives?
He’s obviously thinking about you, and the holidays bring up memories that he’s not having with anyone else. It’s one of the signs he regrets losing you because he knows he won’t be able to have those celebrations with you again.
3. He’s doing too much or too little.
Either your ex is unusually sober and quiet, or he’s out partying like a madman. Regardless, he’s reacting badly to the breakup, and such behavior is one of the signs he regrets losing you. The change is his way of coping, although negatively.
Whether he’s staying away, not posting on social media, or engaging in reckless behavior, he’s processing some negative emotions.
That’s one of the signs he is sorry for hurting you, and it’s not normal behavior for him. After all, you knew what he was like when you two first started dating and when you committed to a romantic relationship.
4. He’s obviously been upset.
Guys are supposed to be stoic, right? They may not show their feelings easily, especially in public places.
There are a few different signs that he is sorry for hurting you, involving emotions that you wouldn’t expect. They include body language such as avoiding eye contact, looking remorseful, or looking like he’s been privately crying.
Maybe you even see a recent picture of him crying with some pitiful or vague caption, or even no caption at all. Either way, he’s making a point not to hide how he feels about breaking up with you.
5. He’s suddenly more considerate and generous.
The breakup has the opposite effect on him when one of the signs he regrets losing you is that he is suddenly nicer to you. He is more sensitive to your feelings, more caring, and more generous than when he was your boyfriend.
You have to wonder why he’s acting this way out of nowhere. Even though he’s not saying it, his behavior tells you he feels terrible, and he’s probably changing for the better. On the other hand, he might be acting that way as a ploy to get you back.
6. He is shocked when he meets you.
Maybe you just so happen to live in a small town and frequent the same places, or you two just so happen to bump into each other in public.
He may even deliberately visit the places he knows you go to so that he can be near you or visit mutual friends more often to have a higher chance of running into you. That’s his excuse, anyway. And when you make eye contact, he acts shocked or awkward because the breakup has had such an effect on him.
7. He’s playing sad songs.
Whether he’s sharing sad songs on social media or you happen to catch him playing heartbreak songs on his headset in person, one of the signs he is sorry for hurting you is his new choice of music.
The partners who are on the receiving end of a breakup typically play sad songs while thinking about their exes. But in your ex’s case, he shows one of the signs of dumper’s remorse. He may even listen to music that’s unusual for him or that he doesn’t normally like.
8. He acts like he’s your boyfriend again.
After a breakup, both partners tend to go their own ways and move on. They leave each other alone and become strangers as much as possible to allow each other to process the breakup, handle being single, and re-evaluate their needs before entering a new relationship.
But in your ex’s case, he shows one of the signs of dumper’s remorse by going right back into boyfriend behavior. That includes protecting you from men he doesn’t like, holding your hand, or sending you gifts.
9. He sends you text messages.
One of the things people normally do after a breakup is to stop texting each other to get used to not being together anymore. However, your ex keeps sending you text messages telling you about his regret, missing you, apologizing, reminding you that he exists, interrogating you, or even begging to meet you.
He is very insistent that you hear him out and is especially eager for you to answer him. He hopes you’ll see how bad he feels about breaking up with you, so you’ll feel sympathy for him.
You’re shocked when he calls you out of the blue, and he probably acts just as surprised as you are. Whether he calls you to admit mistakes, ask about you, or share some life-changing experience that’s happened after the breakup, he realizes he can’t go back and undo things.
While he has come to the point of no return, he can’t accept it and wants to exchange details about each other’s lives and his own soul-searching.
11. He wants to be friends.
Yes, some couples remain friends after breaking up. Usually, though, it’s undesirable. The exception is when the couple just really happens to get along well and are respectful of each other moving on and being committed to new partners.
However, there are other times when an ex uses this position to try to get back with you, including the desire to be “friends with benefits.” Make no mistake; this is one of the signs he regrets losing you.
Social media stalking is not uncommon behavior after a breakup. One or both exes may check the other’s social media to see what they’ve been up to.
Your ex might even take it a step further and comment on them or send you direct messages because he can’t seem to let you go. If he’s truly obsessed and upset, he may even pester you, your friends, and your family on social media. He is doing so in the hopes that you’ll respond to him.
13. He insists on coming back into your life.
Even if he asks you to be friends and you refuse, one of the signs of dumper’s remorse is when your ex still wants to be in your life somehow. This time, though, he has lowered expectations for you because he doesn’t want to come off as desperate or creepy.
He just wants to be involved in any way, as long as he’s not a stranger to you. On the other hand, he may try to get you back and promise that he’ll do better the next time around.
14. He compliments you like nothing before.
Whether your ex complimented you a lot or very little while you were together, he’s different after the breakup. Suddenly, he is lavishing compliments on you.
He is working overtime to flatter you to communicate his remorse about breaking up.
Flirting is another sign, but it’s not appropriate behavior for an ex to be doing, especially if you have a new romantic partner.
15. He uses friends to send messages.
He may still be friends with your family, or you have mutual friends in common. One of the signs he regrets losing you is that he asks about you or sends messages through proxies.
It could mean he still cares about you and misses you, and he feels guilty for ending the relationship too quickly or on such a bad note. On the other hand, it could also mean he feels he owes you something or wants you back.
16. He tries to get your attention.
Another sign he regrets losing you is that he does something crazy to impress you or make you think about him. It could be something such as getting stupid drunk and having a fight with someone.
Regardless of what it is, his goal is to get your attention. He wants you to feel sorry for or worry about him because what kind of person wouldn’t be concerned when he’s doing so bad?
If you respond, he will use your contact with him to try to talk to you or even get back together with you.
17. He is jealous that you’ve moved on.
Another sign he regrets losing you is jealousy that you enjoy being single or you’re happy with someone new. A certain amount of jealousy is healthy and normal, but showing it in ways that express “social distress” is not.
Bragging about himself, flaunting his success, competing with you, insecure body language, badmouthing you to other people, and stalking you are all examples of an unhealthy, jealous ex.
This type of ex regrets breaking up with you, but instead of finding better ways to express his feelings, he chooses to lash out at you.
Common Questions About Breakup Regret
Do exes regret breaking up?
Sometimes, yes, exes regret breaking up. There’s no guarantee that a particular ex has any regrets, but it’s definitely possible. Although there are times when a breakup is mutual, it doesn’t mean both parties feel fully confident that the breakup is a good thing, either.
An ex showing signs of dumper’s remorse means that he regrets his decision, doesn’t have enough closure, or perhaps he even wants to try to rekindle the relationship.
How long does it take an ex to regret dumping you?
It depends on the ex as well as you. The amount of time for an ex to show signs of dumper’s remorse can be anywhere from a day to months, or even if and when you find “The One” who you end up marrying. However, it usually takes a few days to a few months in many cases.
How do you know he regrets breaking up?
If your ex regrets breaking up with you, he will show signs he regrets losing you. Two common signs are drunk dialing you or texting you on your birthday.
Another is first going through a hardcore partying phase, then suddenly becoming very silent on social media to the point where he’s almost a ghost.
How do you know if your ex feels guilty?
The signs he regrets hurting you will not be direct, so you have to learn how to recognize differences in his behavior in reaction to you that he didn’t show when the two of you were together.
If he feels guilty for hurting you with the breakup, he will show that he’s still in love with you in subtle and not-so-subtle ways without explicitly saying, “I regret breaking up with you.”
It’s not always clear whether the heartbreak you feel after a breakup is mutual. Once you recognize any signs of dumper’s remorse, you no longer have to wonder if your ex feels bad that he broke up with you.
If you want to get back together, these signs may be just what you hope to see.
