August 12, 2021 — 4:03 AM
Ever interacted with someone who seems to feel like they’re a god among humans? Such people are sometimes described as having a “god complex.” While it’s not an actual diagnosis or even a clinical term, this popular label gets thrown around a lot, and there are some telltale signs to watch out for that indicate you’re dealing with someone like this.
What it means to have a god complex.
To have a god complex essentially means someone is so fervently self-assured that they actually overestimate themselves, their abilities, and their entitlement. According to licensed clinical social worker De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson, LCSW, the inflated sense of self is the biggest indicator.
That inflated sense of self, she notes, also translates into a lot of other characteristics, especially feeling better than everyone else. “They feel they’re the smartest person in the room, they know best, and their reality is the reality—their experience is the experience,” she says.
Ultimately, these people tend to take arrogance to the extreme, believing they can do whatever they want with little to no regard for others—and that they’re justified in doing so. “It’s referred to as a ‘god complex’ because it’s this idea that ‘I am the end-all-be-all,’ and they don’t even consider how their actions can impact others,” Blaylock-Johnson adds.
Are people with god complexes also narcissists?
If you’re thinking that god complexes sound a lot like narcissism, you wouldn’t be far off. They’re very similar, though not totally the same. “Often when people describe a god complex, they are referring to someone who may have traits of narcissistic personality disorder,” Blaylock-Johnson explains, though they may not have an actual diagnosis.
Having a god complex isn’t a diagnosable condition (that is, it’s not a condition listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, aka the DSM-5), but narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is. Someone diagnosed with NPD is almost certainly going to exhibit some signs of a god complex, but someone with a god complex doesn’t necessarily have NPD.
There’s a lot of overlap, though, particularly with grandiose narcissism. Psychologist Perpetua Neo, DClinPsy, describes this as a particular type of narcissism, when “someone’s narcissistic qualities—entitlement, braggadocio, and self-obsession—are openly displayed, often at the expense of others.” This is very similar to a god complex.
As Blaylock-Johnson adds, however, “It’s helpful to look at the different characteristics or traits people may be exhibiting to help you figure out how to handle the situation—but also you don’t want to necessarily throw around diagnoses.”
11 common signs to look out for:
- An inflated sense of self: The biggest sign of a god complex is an inflated sense of self and general feelings of grandiosity. As Blaylock-Johnson describes it, “They think they’re a lot more important than they really are.”
- Gaslighting: Because people with a god complex are self-absorbed, it can be difficult for them to recognize or accept another person’s experience. This, Blaylock-Johnson says, can lead to gaslighting, a form of manipulation that involves denying someone else’s reality. Gaslighting is also common among narcissists.
- Lack of empathy: A general lack of empathy is common for those with god complexes, Blaylock-Johnson says. “They have an inability to see the humanity in others.”
- Inconsiderate behavior: Because of their tendency for self-absorption and lack of empathy, people with god complexes often behave in inconsiderate ways. According to Blaylock-Johnson, they don’t think about how they’re affecting others. In their own eyes, they can do no wrong.
- Validation seeking: There’s an excessive need for external admiration, praise, and recognition for those with god complexes, Blaylock-Johnson says, adding that they cannot validate themselves. And as licensed marriage and family therapist Margalis Fjelstad, Ph.D., LMFT, previously explained to mbg, that’s another core narcissist trait. “Validation for a narcissist counts only if it comes from others,” she says.
- Callous or unemotional behavior: Sometimes people with god complexes can be inexplicably cold to others or simply unemotional, Blaylock-Johnson says.
- Isolation: There can be many reasons someone isolates themselves, and it’s not always indicative of a god complex. But according to Blaylock-Johnson, “purposely isolating themselves because they think they’re better than everybody else and don’t need anyone else is different from social isolation due to depression or anxiety” and could be a sign of a god complex.
- Unsuccessful long-term relationships: Does this person have close friendships that have lasted for years? If not, it might be worth looking at why. “If people have a difficult time maintaining long-term relationships, whether that’s friendships or romantic relationships,” Blaylock-Johnson says, “it could be a sign that the other parties have decided not to remain in contact with them, which is something to consider.”
- Disrespecting boundaries: A big reason people can end up walking away from those with god complexes, as aforementioned, is due to disrespecting boundaries, Blaylock-Johnson says. They may push people away “constantly crossing certain boundaries,” she explains. As Fjelstad notes, narcissists similarly believe everything belongs to them, everyone thinks and feels the same as they do, and everyone wants the same things they do. “They are shocked and highly insulted to be told no,” she says.
- Lack of responsibility: When you have a god complex, Blaylock-Johnson says, you’re not going to feel like anything you’re doing is wrong—and you’re certainly not going to feel like you have to change. In fact, far from it. According to Fjelstad, “Lack of responsibility is a glaring sign of a narcissist. Although narcissists want to be in control, they never want to be responsible for the results.”
- NPD or other mental illness: Lastly, a narcissistic personality disorder diagnosis is a likely indicator that someone will exhibit signs of a god complex. This can also happen with other mental illnesses in which mania is involved, such as bipolar disorder. “For some people, if they are in a manic episode, it can be marked by grandiosity, that inflated sense of self, or doing a lot of risky behaviors,” Blaylock-Johnson notes.
Set yourself up for success with a good night’s sleep.*
How you deal with someone with a god complex will, of course, depend on your relationship to the person—whether they be a friend, co-worker, significant other, or family member. But one thing is for sure, according to Blaylock-Johnson, the focus can’t be on trying to change this person.
“Change has to be a self-willed action,” she says. “Often these people don’t see anything wrong with themselves—they’re not wanting to change.”
As such, it’s all about the boundaries you set for yourself—and holding to them. And if they don’t like those boundaries, she adds, you may have to change the way you interact with this person.
In some cases, you can create some healthy distance between you and this person if you still want them in your life in some capacity. But if you get to the point where you think you have to cut this person off, psychotherapist Annette Nuñez, M.S., Ph.D., previously told mbg, you can use phrases like, “Right now, this friendship just isn’t working for me,” or “This friendship isn’t helping me grow.”
Again, they may not like the boundaries you set, but that’s why they’re your boundaries, and it’s up to you to stick to them. (Here’s more on the signs of an unhealthy friendship.)
While god complexes are a little less straightforward than diagnosable narcissism, they’re very similar, with many of the same traits, qualities, and behaviors marking both. If you have someone with a god complex in your life, and you think it’s time to walk away, go with your gut and stay true to yourself. At the end of the day, self-absorbed and self-aggrandizing people who don’t respond well to the boundaries you set are not worth keeping around.