When the stress of life sets in and you need to calm down, it can be difficult to do so—unless you have an arsenal of tools and techniques to help. So, we rounded up 15 expert-backed tips for calming down that you can try the next time you need some relaxation on demand:
Sipping a hot cup of tea is one simple way to engage your senses, which according to licensed marriage and family therapist Tiana Leeds, M.A., LMFT, helps to get you grounded fast. “Slowly sip hot tea and pay attention to its scent, taste, warmth, and how it feels as it goes down your throat,” she says.
Bonus points if you opt for a tea brewed with calming herbs, though as Leeds says, “Even mindfully sipping water can be calming.”
2. Give yourself a massage.
Along the same lines of engaging your senses, giving yourself a loving massage is an easy way to tap into touch, so you can get out of your head and into your body. “Massage your hands and lower arms with lotion or oil,” Leeds says, adding this works even better if the lotion has a soothing scent like lavender or jasmine.
Speaking of soothing scents, there are a number of different essential oils that research has shown can help ease stress, like lavender, chamomile, and patchouli. Keep your favorite calming essential oil in your purse, on your desk, in your car—really wherever you find yourself getting stressed out often—so you can take a whiff as needed.
Sometimes we just need a hug—and according to Leeds, hugging someone (or even cuddling a pet) for 20 seconds or more is a great way to calm down. “The elongated hug gives your nervous system a chance to co-regulate to your loved one’s more relaxed state and provides a burst of oxytocin, the bonding and belonging hormone,” she notes.
Another strategy for getting that nervous energy out is to simply move your body, in whatever way works for you. As somatic psychologist Holly Richmond, Ph.D., tells mbg, movement helps to regulate the nervous system.
“We can literally lean on our bodies as an effective tool in that de-escalation of stress,” she says—be it through a light jog, a bike ride, or HIIT class.
7. Spend some time in nature.
There’s something about getting out into nature that can make our major stressors feel, well, not so major. And as positive psychiatrist Samantha Boardman, M.D., previously told mbg, “When we can’t get out of rumination, one of the best strategies is being outside.”
Even if you live in a city, paying a visit to your local park not only gives you some fresh air, but you’re also moving your body and engaging your senses.
In one 2013 research study on mindful walking published in Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine, participants with psychological distress who completed a mindful walking program displayed a reduction in stress and improved quality of life compared to those who didn’t do the program. How’s that for a quick, accessible health intervention?
Take a look around and find everything you can see that is blue, then repeat with the color green, yellow, and so forth, until you’re feeling more calm. Leeds notes this is another easy way to engage your senses and take the focus off of whatever’s stressing you out.
Another way to calm yourself down, according to Leeds, is to purposefully engage the rational part of your brain. “By purposefully re-engaging our rationality, we can shift out of worry and into logic,” she explains. And it doesn’t have to be anything complicated, either. Leeds suggests choosing any movie, book, or show and naming as many characters from it as you can.
11. Think of things that start with A, B, C, etc.
Similar to thinking of fictional characters, you can also access your rationality by challenging yourself to name an animal that starts with A, then one that starts with B, then C, and so on, Leeds says, adding you can repeat this process as many times as you need with different categories like food, first names, countries, etc.
12. Count backward by sevens.
One more way to engage the rational part of your brain is to count backward by sevens from 100. Again, this isn’t a test of your logic or intelligence but rather a way for your brain to focus on something that’s not emotion-based.
“When we’re overwhelmed by emotion, it is more difficult to use our prefrontal cortex, the part of our brains in charge of logic, long-term decision making, and complicated thinking,” Leeds explains. So, simple exercises like this help us ease back into logical and calmer thinking.
Box breathing involves inhaling for a count of 4, holding the inhale at the top for a count of 4, exhaling for 4, and holding at the bottom for 4.
It’s just one of many calming breathwork techniques you can do, but as breathwork instructor Gwen Dittmar previously explained to mbg, it’s “really great for when you’re in a stressful situation and you need to be present but also want to be calm.”
14. Take a cold or hot shower.
Richmond notes that taking a hot or cold shower is another way to engage the body, so you can get out of your head. In fact, research shows cold therapy, aka “cryotherapy,” not only helps keep inflammation in check (which is only made worse by stress) but also helps to alleviate stress. And even if you’re not into the idea of a freezing cold shower, a hot one can still be soothing.
15. Tap into your artistic side.
Last but not least, Richmond says drawing is another body-oriented process that can help you calm down and regulate your nervous system. “Instead of trying to solely talk your brain into calming down, integrating the mind and body with nervous-system-regulating exercises or activities is a much more effective practice,” she adds.
It’s important to know how to calm down when the moment strikes. If you’re dealing with stress and anxiousness that’s affecting your quality of life, consider working with a professional. But in the meantime, these 15 tips and tricks should help.
And as Leeds notes, “We’re all different, so experimenting in order to identify your shortlist of soothing hacks is going to be the most effective route to returning to relaxation.”
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