Being cheated on or in other words we can say that infidelity indeed seems to be one of the greatest betrayals. My opinion on this whole aspect is also the same. Infidelity kind of breaks the most basic promise of a relationship. Being cheated on feels the worst thing to happen in one’s life and there is no denying it.
Another important reason that why this infidelity seems to be a betrayal is that it basically crushes the very foundation of the marriage or relationship. It makes a person feel that his faithfulness has been betrayed.
And well, if you are thinking of this situation to be quite difficult for the person who is going through this infidelity and all, well I would say that you are point on. This infidelity makes a person feel crushed to bits and torn apart. And there is no denial in the fact that healing from this feeling of being cheated on is the most difficult thing.
In the following article, I will advise you on some tips that will kind of help you to move on in your life. These tips will also help you to heal and cope up with the emotional disturbances that you are going through.
💮 How to Get Over After Being Cheated On? Here are the 18 Helpful Tips For you 💮
No doubt that emotional healing after being cheated on is the most difficult thing that an individual may go through. It kind of destroys the mental health of the person. If we account for the base or foundation of a relationship or marriage, then these relationships are actually based on the promise that no partner will cheat the other one.
The presence of such promises makes the relationship blossom and sustain itself. But in case, if one of the partners breaks this promise in a marriage by having sex with someone else, then it indeed brings complete chaos and disaster to the other partner’s life.
This completely destroys the other partner. It affects the mental health of the partner and not only this, apart from the mental health, the emotional consequences are also devastating.
So, now you might be wondering that what one should do in order to overcome this whole scenario or situation?
The answer to this question is that your life is a blessing and you are meant to live it to its fullest. Unfortunately, if you are the one who is being cheated on by your partner or if you are facing infidelity, then you should follow the tips that are mentioned below.
These tips will help you to make your life much better and will help you gain mental peace and happiness.
After being cheated on, I would say that the first and foremost thing that needs to be done is acceptance. Although it may seem to be quite odd that after infidelity in a relationship, what would acceptance mean? But the answer is that you need to let go of things and accept them.
Well, according to my opinion, if you are the victim of cheating, then you would be undergoing various emotions including pain, fear, betrayal, and sadness. You would be feeling pretty depressed and upset.
The thing that I actually want you to accept includes all of these emotions that you are undergoing. You have to accept that you are feeling sad and upset. You have to accept that you have been betrayed. You have to accept that you have been hurt emotionally.
And although this acceptance may seem to be quite easy, in reality, believe me, it’s not. Accepting all of these emotions and feelings that you are undergoing actually is the most difficult and complex thing that you will undergo after coming to know about your partner.
Now, what this acceptance will help you with? How will it benefit you? Well, the answer is that this acceptance is like a hurdle. Until and unless you won’t face it, you would not be able to move on in your life. This acceptance will pave way for a better and brighter future for you.
Therefore, acceptance is the first and foremost thing that you should do.
2. Gaining inner peace
Another important tip that you need to take is that you need to gain inner or self peace. What this self peace implies here is that you need to find a way to make yourself more stable. You will have to gain a kind of self-control. You have to find your inner peace and balance and not only this, but you will also have to maintain it.
You will have to get rid of all the distractions, evil thoughts, insecurities that you feel and anxieties, and so on. By simply overcoming all of these things, you will lead yourself into inner peace.
You will also have to maintain your self-esteem. After gaining inner peace, what you will gain is that you would be in a much better position to make a decision for your future. It will also help you in becoming emotionally stable as well.
3. Stop blaming
After coming to know about the infidelity or about the relationship of your partner with someone else, the one thing that most people do is that they start blaming themselves. If you are a person who does this, then you have to stop this immediately.
The feeling of being cheated definitely destroys one’s self-esteem and is indeed a very worse condition but this doesn’t mean that you start blaming yourself. A lot of things happen in marriages but if you blame yourself for all of this, then this is not fair.
Not to blame yourself doesn’t mean that you should blame your partner or someone else with whom your partner had sex. It rather means that you should not blame anyone.
The thing is that if you will start blaming yourself, then you will make yourself responsible for your partner’s actions, but that is definitely not the case. You are surely not responsible for what your partner has done.
It was definitely your partner’s act and he is responsible for his actions.
If you will start blaming, then you will lead yourself into an emotionally disturbed state. Uncertain feelings will emerge into you and once you fall into this darkness, then there is no returning back.
Therefore, after knowing about infidelity, don’t start to blame yourself. Not you, but your partner is responsible for his actions.
If you still want to fix everything and move forward, get more ideas HERE!
4. Stop feeling bad
Again, this is a very common issue that happens in relationships. The thing is that after being cheated on, you need not blame yourself. Because if you blame yourself, then different questions arise in one’s mind, and finding answers to these questions is very difficult.
When you will blame yourself for the actions of your partner, then you will ask yourself questions that weren’t you enough for your partner? Did you do something wrong? or Were you not able to satisfy the needs of your partner?
Actually, in such circumstances, these questions do not have appropriate and exact answers. Well, the probable outcome of these questions is that you will feel bad about yourself and feel miserable or helpless that should not be the scenario.
Therefore, in such a situation, you should not feel bad about yourself. You should indeed maintain your self-esteem and think in a better way.
5. Stop negative thinking
After being cheated on, the first thing that a person does is that he starts thinking negatively. This negative thinking should be stopped at the very instant.
You can consider this all to be a kind of mind game in which you have to be stable. If you will think too much negativity, then it will have a kind of negative impact on you as well.
In such situations, all that you have to do is to collect yourself. You should make an approach towards positive thinking. You should control your feelings and emotions in an appropriate way and limit the feelings of anger.
Furthermore, you should also refrain from negative thinking because negative thinking is not the solution to the problem.
6. Don’t take a negative action
After coming to know that you have been cheated by your partner, most probably, the first thing that comes into your mind would be some kind of negative thing.
You might have a negative thought in your mind, or you might have thought about hurting yourself or some other thing. You might have thought of damaging the property or things. Well, actually it is present in human behavior and nature but it can be controlled as well.
So, the thing that you have to do is that you need to stop all of these negative thoughts to come into your mind. You need to refrain from taking any negative steps.
Well, if you are wondering that why you should not hurt yourself after such grief or why you shouldn’t take negative action? then this is because I would say that it is not worth it. Simple.
7. Give yourself space
Among other mentioned things, one thing that you should also do is that you should give yourself due space. After you come to know that you have been cheated by your partner, indeed your world turns upside down but in this situation, you need to remain calm and stable that I know is quite difficult but still you need to manage yourself. You need to figure a way out of this crazy thing.
You definitely require space. I would suggest that if you and your partner have no other place to go, then you have to manage in a single house, but still, you have to ask for personal space. What this space will do is that it will help you figure out your next move.
Having some space will help you to overcome your negative thoughts and it will also kind of boost your mental and emotional feelings.
8. Express your emotions
If you come to know that your partner cheated you in your relationship, then it is definitely nothing less than a bomb blast. Why I am saying this to be a bomb blast is that this news is very devastating indeed. It will shatter and tear apart your feelings, your emotions, and even you.
It will make you feel that you have lost everything. Your world has been destroyed. Although it is a difficult situation to handle, what you should do is that you need to bring yourself together and make yourself stable.
In such circumstances, a person fills with anger and other emotions that if kept inside, cause huge damage to the person bearing them. Therefore, you should not keep such emotions of anger and other related things inside yourself. The best thing to do in such situations is to let them out.
You need to find different ways to let your emotions out. Maybe all you need are some friends. You need your friends with whom you can talk regarding this. It is possible that your friends may help you in such a situation. It is possible that by having a talk with your friends and family, you might be able to reach a conclusion that will prove to be beneficial for you.
All of this will actually help you to get rid of the negative feelings and emotions burning inside you. Therefore, you should let your emotions out.
Here you can learn some tips on how to express your feelings and communicate well to your partner, WATCH THIS VIDEO NOW!
9. Think about what you want
If you have been cheated on, then you definitely need to make a decision or come to a conclusion. But when you come to know that your partner cheated you, then you are in a state of anger and emotions of being upset and sad. In such situations of anger, you should refrain from taking a bold step or coming to a conclusion or decision.
I would rather suggest that you should first get some space and then think about the thing that you want. But prior to this, you definitely have to do a difficult job that is actually controlling your emotion.
Afterward, you should think about that what you want? For instance, whether you want to live with your partner or not? What would be your decision and how will it affect your life?
While thinking about the answer to this question, you probably need to keep into consideration your family, your kids, and so on. Therefore, in order to make a better decision, you need to think calmly and in a better way.
10.Follow your heart
When you are finding the answer to the question that what you should do after knowing about infidelity, then what i would suggest you is that you should give yourself some personal time and space. You know that you have been cheated in your marriage by your partner, but still, you need to think about this with a cold mind.
In my opinion, you should search your soul to get the answer to the question and follow your heart. This is because in such situation, you can get the best guidance by your heart but one requirement for this is that you need to have a clear heart and soul. You need to be emotionally stable and perfect because if you are too much disturbed emotionally, then you would not be able to reach towards a better decision.
Therefore, follow your heart and do a thorough soul search, keeping in mind your family, your kids and your relationship.
11.Don’t think of revenge
I do understand that knowing that you have been cheated in your relationship is very discomforting thing. It will disturb you deep to your soul and will make you angry, annoyed and aggressive. But despite all of this, it doesn’t mean that you should let the negative thoughts enter your mind and take revenge with your partner.
If your partner cheated, then it definitely doesn’t mean that you should give the reply by cheating. It doesn’t mean that you should start having an affair of your own. It doesn’t mean that after being cheated, cheating is the only option that you are left with.
What you should do is that you shouldn’t think negatively and you should not think of taking revenge. This thinking can further destroy your relationships.
12.Harness anger well
You might be wondering that what am i suggesting to you guys, but believe me i am in my senses by suggesting you this thing.
After knowing about the cheating on you, the first emotion that you go through is indeed extreme anger. But the thing that you should do is that you should harness this frustration in a better way.
I am not suggesting you to forgive your partner instantly, rather what i am trying to say is that instead of making a quick decision in anger, try to harness the aggression as it will help you in making a much better decision. A well harnessed anger can help you to lead your life into a more meaningful way.
In other words, what i am suggesting you is that you should harness this aggressiveness in a more better way and make it a productive force.
What such cheating situations demand is great support. And who can provide you better mental and emotions support than you.
This also doesn’t mean that you should limit yourself only to you. Rather you should also go for a professional help as well. You should consult your family, your friends and people on whom you trust.
But despite all of this, you should provide yourself some support. You are not responsible for the actions taken by your partner. Think in a positive way and support yourself and the decision that you have made.
14.Make a good decision
After knowing about cheating in your relationships, all that you have to do is to decide. Everything is almost dependent upon the decision that you make. Although cheating is a very painful process to go through but still, you have to make a decision.
What I would suggest you is to make a decision after searching your soul. Don’t decide in a hurry or while being in an aggression.
Your decision should be the best one.If you think you can live with your partner and can sort things out, then you should go for it. If not, then you still have other options available. But despite having different options, you should select the one that is the most suitable one.
You could also search for other options and decide for a better future.
If you are unable to reach to a satisfactory decision, then you are also open for the option of consulting a therapist. A therapist may be in a better position to understand you and it is also possible that the therapist may provide you with a better solution to your problem.
Therefore, if you are unsure what to do, then you could consider going to a therapist because he might help you in your situation.
16.Sort out things in relationships
Probably, in my opinion, ending the marriage or relationship is not the only option. Rather, what your approach should be is that you should consider to sort out the misunderstandings and things that have taken place in your relationship.
You could try to work together with your partner to reach to a better stance. Both of you could address the issues and problems in your relationship and it is possible that you might come to a better position to understand each other and start your new journey together.
This sorting of things in your existing relationship can actually help you to improve your relationship.
Therefore, you should definitely give it a try.
17.End if things are worse
Sadly, I would suggest you to end the relationship if you think that the things are not going to work. If you think that the situation is much worse, then you have the option of leaving a toxic relationship. You should absolutely not worry in this regard because your partner has been accused of cheating. You are absolutely free to make a decision.
In your opinion, if your partner will not stop cheating you, then it is better for you to end the relationship because continuing in such a relation will be toxic for you. By being in such a relationship, you would not be able to gain inner peace.
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18.Take time before getting into a new relationship
Lastly, if you have decided to end your previous relationship, then my suggestion would be that you should take some time to get into a new relationship.
Actually the reason is that, once your trust has been broken by your partner, then it would be difficult for you to trust someone else.
Therefore, you should take your time before getting into a new relationship.
🧿 What does being cheated on do to a person? 🧿
Being cheated on can have various affects that it can do to a person. Some of them are as follows.
💔 Damages self esteem
We can simply say that being cheated on can damage your self esteem. It can shatter your self perception. If you are being cheated on in a relationship, then that is indeed the worse thing that can happen in your relationship. It shatters and tears apart the person.
💔 Makes self worth questionable
Another important aspect of being cheated on is that it can make your self worth questionable. You may come to think of yourself as a person without any worth, which is absolutely wrong and it all happens because of the negative thinking.
💔 Change in interactions
Being cheated on in a relationship can also affect your behavior and interactions with other people. After being cheated, it is possible that the interactions of the victim may change with other people.
💔 Lack in trust
Another consequence of being cheated is that the victim develops a lack of trust. What this means is that in the future, the person would not be able to trust other people easily. This lack in trust is also a thing that happens after being cheated.
💔 Helps to work on oneself
Although, this may sound to be odd, but it is a reality that after being cheated on, it provides the person an opportunity to work on oneself and make oneself a better individual.
🙎♀️ How to cope with being cheated on 🙎♀️
As we have already discussed that there are different things that you can do once you come to know about the cheating of your partner. Firstly, you have to accept the reality. You need to accept the actions of your partner.
Furthermore, you should not blame yourself about the actions that your partner did. What I want to say is that your partner is responsible for everything, not you. So, don’t blame yourself. Rather accept things the way they are and think about a better and prosperous future.
Well, as far as the coping up after being cheated on is concerned, then I would say that you probably have different options. If you think that you can sort the things between each other, then it is the best solution, but if unfortunately you think that things will get more worse in your life, then you can move on in your life without any kind of regret.
Hence, you can cope up with being cheated on in these ways.
Coming to know that you have been cheated on by your partner is indeed the saddest and the most tragic news in a relationship. But still, you should not think yourself responsible for all of this stuff. Rather, you should try to stabilize yourself both, emotionally and mentally.
You should try to heal yourself and think for a better future. If things can be sorted out between you and your partner, then make things work out but if not, then moving on is a better option.
Q: How to forgive a cheating partner?
A: In my opinion, if the partner realizes that he has done wrong and that both of you are looking forward to have a great relationship, then forgiving is the best option. Although it can be a bit difficult to understand in the beginning but you should also stop thinking about the past and just think about a better future with your partner.
Thus, by thinking for a better future and thinking about your kids, you can forgive him, in case he has learned about his mistake and is sorry for that.
Q: Is it true once a cheater always?
A: I do not withstand this statement. There might be certain reasons that may justify the cheating acts but still, it is possible that he might understand his error and can come back in your life. Therefore, i do not consider this statement to be true.
Q: Why do people cheat?
A: There can indeed be certain reasons that can justify this cheating act in a relationship. It is possible that there might be something wrong in the relationship that they have.
Overall, we can say that there are different reasons, but one thing that is common to this aspect is that people mostly cheat because they are unable to get something in their current relationship, and because of this, they cheat. This can either be love, happiness, sexual pleasure and so on.
Hence, different reasons can be given for this act by people but the main thing remains that the current relationship lacks in certain things that they try to get and fulfill by cheating.
Being cheated on is beyond our control. Learn some ways on how to move on and mend the relationship. WATCH THIS VIDEO NOW!
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Author: Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.