Do you know that a man is not always flirting but he can simply be friendly and vice versa? Some men are more friendly while others usually flirt with women. To choose the right guy for you, it is important that you must learn the techniques to find out if he is flirting with you or not. Here are the 20 techniques on how to tell if a guy is flirting or just being friendly
💟 Learn these 20 techniques on how to tell if a guy is flirting or just being friendly 💟
If you want to figure out either he is flirting or just being friendly, here are the top 20 techniques to get the answer.
1. Maintain eye contact
A guy would look into your eyes while talking in a normal way just like others do. He would not stick his eyes on you and make eye contact in a naturally friendly way.
A friendly guy won’t attempt to lock his eyes on you while talking but may look at the surroundings occasionally.
A flirty guy would make constant eye contact with you throughout the conversation. Even if you are not talking, he would still make eye contact with you multiple times.
In fact, he would want to go deep into your eyes to see how do you feel about him. By strong eye contact, he would also try to give you a love signal but that would be flirt in actuality.
2. How he makes small conversation
A friendly guy makes small conversations just like a normal person. His conversations would be targeted on so many things instead of only focusing on you. While engaging in small conversations, he would never go deep inside your personal matters.
A flirty guy would mostly make small conversations about dating life or sex life. For example, if he makes a small conversation about how was your day, he would seem as romantically interested in knowing about your day.
3. Sexual contact
A best friend is never interested in making sexual contact with you and he never thinks about it. A friendly guy would respect you more and always take care of you.
Even if you are alone with him in a room at some odd place, he would never take advantage of the situation to sexually engage with you.
A guy must be flirting with you if he tries to engage to make flirty touch for sexual contact with you. If you are alone in a room with him, he would for sure try to provoke you for sex.
Even if he doesn’t do it in the first meeting, he may take advantage of the situation at any time in the future. You must learn to figure out the real intentions of such men and stay away from them.
4. What he talks about himself
A very important technique to interpret a man is to pay close attention to what he talks about himself. When a guy is only being friendly, he won’t show his utmost interest in sex-related things.
Instead, a friendly guy would tell you about his day, his hobbies, his interests, and his goals. He would talk about a number of things about himself and his life instead of solely focusing on sex.
If he is more than just friends to you, make sure that he must be sincere with you and not flirting at all. However, he would be flirting if he never talks about other things but only a love talk with you.
When a guy seems more interested in sex and such discussions, he would keep on telling you things like that. Moreover, he would also tell you frequently about his past sex life, about his ex-girlfriends, and related stuff.
5. His way of greeting you
Look at the way how he greets you. Most guys greet the women in an ordinary way just like they greet other guys. You would notice that they talk regularly and ordinary without any romantic interest.
For example, a man can simply say you good morning with a smile when he sees you coming into the office. He must also be doing the same with other human beings working in his office.
A clear sign that he is not sincere with you is that he behaves a little awkwardly in front of you. For example, he may stand up and try to hug you while saying good morning but he doesn’t do the same with others. You can easily get to know about his flirty nature by noticing such things.
6. The way to touch
A very good sign to observe his psyche is to see if he attempts to engage in any physical contact with you. When he is just being friendly, he won’t have any lust for your body and he won’t try to touch you for any concern. Instead, he would simply have no interest in physical contact just like your other mutual friends.
On the contrary, a guy would be flirting with you when he frequently tries to make physical contact. When guys flirt with women, they express more interest in making physical contact instead of expressing interest in something else.
For example, he would be so concerned about how was your day or how is your family but he would be more clingy for touch.
7. He starts fixing his dress
A nice and friendly guy would not be so conscious about how does he look. Whenever he sees you coming closer to him, he won’t immediately start fixing his color or buttoning up his shirt. Instead, he would keep sitting in the same way as he was before your arrival at the spot.
If he starts to fix his dress in front of you or when sees you coming closer, it is a clear indication that he is flirting with you.
Whenever he sees you, you will notice him instantly getting conscious about how does he look. He would immediately fix his shirt, pant, or shoes, etc. to impose a good impression on you or to impress you.
8. Fixing his hair
Most people believe that fixing hair is natural and doesn’t belong to anything else. The truth is that many people start fixing their hair to look good so that they can impress others.
When a guy is just being friendly, he won’t always care about how does his hair looks like. He may fix his hair at times but not with the intention to grab your attention.
Another sign of a person flirting with you is that he would always try to get your undivided attention by representing an ideal image of himself. To impress you, he won’t only fix his clothes immediately but also keep on touching or setting his hair to assure that he looks attractive.
9. Excessive self talk
Excessive self-talk is a clear indication that he is only trying to persuade your feelings about him in a positive way. A person who is friendly would not always engage in self-talk but must discuss other things with you.
For example, he would ask you about yourself, your job, discuss current affairs, or may also talk about the latest trends and fashion.
In contrast, you would see that a man who is flirting with you will frequently engage in self-talk. He would always talk about his likes and dislikes, his point of view, his interests, and his personality. He would frequently lie in these self-talks for the purpose of representing an ideal self-image to you.
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There is an obvious difference in the way to stare at a woman and the body language of a man. When a man is just friendly, he would never keep on staring at you frequently. At the same time, the body language of a friendly guy would never give you a flirting signal but he would behave sophisticatedly and would assure good manners.
He is a big flirt if he keeps on staring at you badly all the time and has poor body language. For example, he may open up his legs in front of you to assure that you notice him and get provoked. Similarly, he stares at you frequently to get a response from you and starts flirting in this way.
11. His way of talking about other girls
Another technique is to see how he talks about other girls. A man who is just being friendly won’t disrespect other girls in front of you. His jokes and way of talking about other girls won’t include a sex-related discussion. However, a friend would simply talk of numerous things if he ever talk about other girls.
The main difference comes here when a guy talks about sexual things about other girls. For example, he may make fun of a girl with poor body structures or may seem inspired by the large boobs of a girl. Similarly, he may also talk disrespectfully and unethically about other girls when he is not sincere with you too.
12. Presenting his real self versus fake
A friendly man doesn’t need to represent his fake self in front of you. A nice guy would be the same person that he actually is or that he seems to be. You would find no difference in his obvious and hidden personalities. You would also realize that there is not a single element of showing off in his behavior or attitude with the intention to attract you.
No matter how real he tries to be, you would still notice lots of contradictions in his real versus fake self-image. He won’t be the same person in front of you that he is when he is lonely or with other people.
13. He won’t be so clingy
A friend can never be so clingy to you all the time. He would allow you the freedom you need to do whatever you want to do. He would keep a distance at times to avoid being so clingy in your personal matters. He may interfere but not much into your personal life. Such a guy would be your friend and not faking you at all.
On the contrary, a guy is flirting with you if he is very clingy all the time. He would always be curious to know your personal things and always interfere with whatever you do. HE would never leave you alone even for a second and be with you all the time.
14. He won’t force you to date or movie night
It’s true that the best friends should enjoy movie nights together but the other person should not force you for a movie night or a date. A smart friend who is not flirting with you would never force you to go with him on a date.
He may force you for a movie night when yours and his friends are going altogether. However, it won’t happen always where he is forcing you to go with him alone.
A guy is a flirt when he forces you to join him on a movie night or go on a date. To inspire you, he may surprise you with special arrangements for a date night and may try to provoke feelings of love in you.
During a movie night, he may also try to touch you and start a romantic conversation. These are the hints that he is only flirting with you and don’t have any plans to go in the long run with you.
15. Less vs. more fights or offensive talks
A guy is a friendly person if he is paying attention to what you want to say instead of starting a fight without understanding your viewpoint. A friend won’t make offensive talks on casual questions or on serious topics of discussion. His general demeanor won’t include a fighting and abusive personality but he would be a cool and more open-minded person.
In contrast, a guy would start bashing you on little things and would be unable to control his energy levels when he dislikes something. He would get offended frequently and you would see him feeling angry about numerous things. He would also try to impose his viewpoints on you and would expect you to do what he wants you to do.
16. Respect vs disrespect
One way that is a clear hint if he is only flirting or being friendly is to see if he respects you or not. If he is being friendly with you, he would not only be naturally affectionate to you but also respect you so much. He would never intentionally disrespects you whether you are alone with him or at a public place.
On the other hand, a flirting guy would disrespect you quite frequently. Even you would notice him disrespecting you at a public place if he doesn’t like something. Instead of taking care of your will and preferences, he would start being abusive and harsh.
17. Sex talks
When he is only being friendly, he would never engage in sex talks with you. Even any of his jokes won’t include such topics and he won’t have any such intention too. Instead, he would communicate on other things in general. Even if he is having fun with you, his jokes won’t target sex talks or any such things.
A guy is for sure a flirt when all of these talks revolve around sex. He would talk about intercourse, nudity, romantic relationships, love life, cheating, and so many related things. When you see frequent sex talks in a relationship, it means that he is only being flirty with you.
18. Level of attention
He is just being friendly if he pays attention to you during conversations or during doing something important with you. However, he won’t be so attentive to you without any concern and you won’t catch him looking at you without any purpose.
The level of attention differs when a guy is flirting with you. He would be more attentive when you are around and he would pay deep attention to whatever you do. His eyes would always follow you and he would strictly monitor you all the time. In some cases, this highest level of attention becomes so annoying that it worsens the relationships instead of doing any good.
19. Personal space
He is friendly if he joins you in your free time but doesn’t bother you when you are busy with something personal. He won’t also try to inquire you about your personal life or personal matters. He also won’t bother whatever you do and why you do it when it comes to your personal space.
In contrast, a guy must invade your personal space and ruin your privacy. He would always try to be with you like your shade and always inquire about your personal things/space. He would also seem bothered at numerous things that you do and sometimes, he may get offended by some of them.
All friends tease each other without any wrong intentions but mostly just for fun. You man is being friendly if he teases you to bring a smile to your face or to have fun that doesn’t hurt you in any way. This type of teasing makes a relationship more beautiful and charming where two-person enjoy each other’s company without any stress or fear.
On the other hand, a guy teases you in another way when he is flirting with you. This type of teasing is different from the other ones because it may make you feel hurt and annoyed at times.
He may personally bash you or may touch you in any way to tease you so that you give a response or make a reaction. This type of teasing is sometimes intolerable and irritable that you just want to avoid that person. At times, you won’t feel comfortable with that guy because they ruin your comfort zone due to his teasing and flirt nature.
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💥 Surprising signs that someone is flirting with you 💥
If someone is flirting with you, you can easily find out his real intentions by noticing the following signs in him.
🔅 He would do exactly what men do while flirting
All of us know what men do while flirting with women. Their love seems so fake and they lose their temper so shortly because all they want from a woman is to fulfill their lust.
If you have such a man, make a small conversation with him on a contradictory issue, other than love. If he seems interested and discusses it further with you while respecting your point of view, it means that he is not flirting with you.
Otherwise, if he is only interested in sex talks, it means that he is flirting with you just like he does with his other crushes.
🔅 He would be more interested in sex
Those guys who flirt are more interested in sex than building a productive relationship with you. He would also be one of those guys who wants only sex from you if he is flirting with you.
To interpret his real interests, spend a little time with him. You will get clear signs regarding if he is only interested in sex or not.
🔅 Physical touch
Along with sex, some guys also love to physically touch their women when they are flirting with them. When a guy is serious in a relationship with you, physically touching you won’t be his top priority because he would know that he has the whole life to do it with you.
In contrast, a flirting guy would know that this relationship won’t be long lasting and he has a limited time, so he would try to take out the most advantage of it. He may hold your hands, hug or kiss you frequently, or pat on your back, etc. to fulfill his lust.
🔅 He won’t spend much on you
In the same way, he won’t spend much money on you because he knows that he will leave you soon. All he wants would be to touch or have sex with you or pass his time with you.
When you are fulfilling all of these concerns, why would he spend much on you? If a guy truly loves you, he would unconditionally spend his money on you without giving it a second thought.
🔅 He won’t care or respect you at times
When a guy is not really interested in you but only flirting, he won’t have much tolerance towards you. You would see that he doesn’t care at times and might be disrespecting you occasionally.
For example, suppose that both of you have to go on a date and he is coming to pick you up. When he arrives, you refuse to go and tell him that you are feeling very sick today. If he understands and asks you to go to the doctor with him or prepares a meal for you, he truly loves you.
In contrast, if a guy starts fighting you for why you ruin the dating plan instead of showing any concern for your bad health, he is only flirting with you.
💡 Signs He Is Secretly Attracted to You 💡
Here are the top 5 signs that a guy is secretly attracted to you!
◉ He would behave as if he is more than just a friend
Guys usually give mixed signals when they are secretly attracted to a woman. When he secretly likes you or is interested in you, he would behave as if he is more than just a friend.
For example, he would already eagerly be willing to have a conversation with you or try to make you laugh whenever you feel sad or down. These are the obvious signs that he likes you but still hiding his love from you.
◉ He’ll ask you about your relationship status
When he is interested and secretly likes you, he will for sure ask you about your relationship status. It is because he would be planning inside his head about continuing a long-term relationship with you.
◉ He’ll pay attention to your every little thing
When he is secretly attracted to you, he will remember things about you no matter how big or little they are. He would pay attention to every little thing related to you or that happen to you. Just one exception is that he may fail to notice you as expected if he is under so much stress due to any reason.
◉ He’ll never criticize your physical appearance
When guys are secretly attracted to a woman, they never criticize their physical appearance. Instead, they admire them in every possible way without any demand in return. However, a flirting guy would never miss a chance to criticize your appearance or body shape.
◉ He’ll often make prolonged eye contact
A guy will make longer eye contact when he is secretly attracted to you. He would like to see you again and again because you have already made a space in his heart.
💞 How to Tell if a Guy Is Confused About His Feelings for You 💞
When a guy is confused about his feelings for you, you will notice the following symptoms:
⫸ He gets shy
As compared to your other guy friends, he would get shy at times when he is confused about his feelings for you because he would be controlling his inner flood of emotions from coming out.
⫸ He may avoid you at times
He may also start to avoid you at times because he needs time to decide if he really likes you or it is just infatuation.
⫸ He is reluctant to talk openly
When you guys are talking to each other, you will see that he is sometimes reluctant to talk openly because he doesn’t want to proceed on quickly without knowing his thoughts.
📱 How to know if a guy likes you through texting
To know if a guy likes you through texting, look into the following things.
❐ He writes long texts
When he likes you, he would write long texts more of the time because he would love to talk to you in any possible way. Sending short texts usually means that the other person won’t have much time to spend on you or might be ignoring you.
❐ He responds quickly
When a person doesn’t like the other person, he won’t respond quickly to that person. However, if he responds to you quickly every time, it means that he likes you so much.
❐ He uses emojis
He would also use cute and love emojis in texting when he likes you. A friendly guy often uses emojis to create a more touching way of communication through texting. He may also use it to boost emotions and to make you feel good while communicating with him.
💞 How Do You Know If An Attraction Is Mutual?
To know if an attraction is mutual or not, here are the following signs.
✏️ Both of you make eye contact with each other
Instead of making eye contact with other women around you, he would make this eye contact with you when he likes you so much. In return, you will also try to look into his eyes when he attracts you as well.
✏️ Find ways to spend time with each other
When there is a mutual attraction between both of you, you would find ways to spend time with each other. Even if one of you has something important to do, you would reschedule it to some other time just to spend time with your favorite person in the room.
✏️ Smile at each other and try to make him/her happy
Both of you would frequently pass smiles to each other and also try your best to make one another happy and feel amazing. Your and his talking style would be so interactive, caring, and loving that expresses your inner feelings. Your every small talk would exhibit your feelings of happiness with him and vise versa.
✏️ Enjoy each other’s company
In the presence of mutual attraction, both of you would also enjoy each other’s company. You would frequently miss the time spent with each other. When both of you are together, it would become hard to say goodbye to each other.
✏️ Speak about the love life
Discussing the same things about love life would be the favorite topic among both of you. Both of you would realize that there is so much pleasure in discussing the love life and making plans for the future life together.
🧐 Conclusions 🧐
When you are confused about whether he is being friendly or flirting with you, notice his every act. Look into the signs of flirting or being friendly in every minor or major act he does. This article shares 20 effective techniques to find out the answer to this question whether he is being friendly or flirting. Look into these techniques and notice his every single action to find out the truth.
🤔 Relevant Questions 🤔
What is harmless flirting?
Harmless flirting is the one where a person’s flirting doesn’t hurt you. For example, if he shares flirting jokes with you, his jokes should not hurt you in any way. Even these jokes should not emotionally or mentally affect you at all. Instead, he may make you laugh through these flirting tactics but don’t harm your physical or emotional wellbeing.
Will a guy text you every day if he’s interested?
The only way or the most common way to see if he is interested is to check whether he texts you every day or not. He will send you so many texts every day when he likes you so much.
What is the unspoken attraction?
An unspoken attraction is one where a person secretly likes you but hasn’t revealed it to you yet. You can figure out his feelings by looking into the various signs discussed above in this article.
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Author: Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in finance, relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.