Like most long-term relationships, my marriage has needed some extra attention at times. I love my husband dearly, but we also juggle three growing kids and two full-time jobs on a daily basis. Sometimes, that means that our time together gets delayed or at the bottom of the never-ending priority list.
What this can leave us with is a feeling of disconnect.
Knowing that this isn’t good for our marriage, I recently went in search of ways to get our relationship back to thriving without a TON of effort. We just don’t have the time, energy, or money for grand gestures. Instead, we needed easy habits that build our relationship up in the background. Small efforts that help us feel connected and intimate. Was it possible?
It was! Here’s what we found, applied, and works for us!
1. The Good Morning Kiss
First, we started with a simple one. Before we both began working from home, my husband used to kiss me goodbye in the morning. While this wasn’t a large thing, it kept us connected before the busyness of the day set in.
So, we brought this easy habit back. It was a tiny win that took almost no time at all, and it proved to be a wonderful way to begin touching again in small ways.
2. An Updated Date Night
While I’ve always been a huge believer in date night, it’s easy to spend the entire time binge-watching Netflix. Obviously, this doesn’t make anyone feel connected. So, we began a ritual of getting a babysitter at least once a month to get out of the house, and for at-home dates we now ask online questions to spice things up. These small changes completely transformed our mundane date night.
I realized over time that some of my disconnect stemmed from constantly being overwhelmed with kids and a job I’m passionate about. So, I began a habit of asking my husband at the beginning of the week to help me. It started with “what two dinners would you like to cook this week?” and bloomed from there.
This freed up time and energy on my part to be more present in our relationship at night (instead of exhausted and ready for bed).
4. I Made a Daily Effort to Express Appreciation
I put a reminder on my phone to give my husband a gift, thank you, or appreciation at least once a day. He’s a “words of affirmation” guy in the Love Languages Quiz. Not only does this habit make him feel good, but he usually ends up reciprocating by appreciating back, helping out, or making more of an effort to hold hands or kiss.
5. We Set Technology Boundaries
For many of us, our phones are KILLING our relationships. We were finding that after a long day of work and kids, it was all too easy to escape on our phones for any length of time. Of course, this resulted in ignoring the family and real life people around us.
So, we had a long discussion and created the habit of putting our phones on the home base charger during the evening hours. We also talked about getting a phone jail if it becomes a further problem in the future.
In Conclusion
In the end, we found that it didn’t take much to get us where we wanted to be. Often, it’s not necessary to do a complete overhaul on your relationship. Small, daily habits make a world of difference over the long run. So, what habits can you incorporate with your partner to have the connected relationship you long for?
