Crack the code to understand anyone’s true intentions.
Have you ever met someone new and gotten a distinct feeling from them? Either something didn’t seem right, or you got a really good vibe from the person. That awareness is partially due to intuition, but it also comes from your skill at reading people. Hone this valuable skill with these 11 tips and tricks.
1. Pay attention to the first meeting and handshake.
When you first meet someone, you generally reach out your hand for a friendly handshake. Next time you do this notice whether you’re offered a weak handshake or a firm grip.
If it’s weak, it might indicate this person is shy, but it also could reflect a lack of self-confidence or self-esteem. If the grip is firm, this person is confident and sincerely happy to meet you. It also signifies strength and self-assuredness.
2. Make a note if someone crosses their arms.
Does the person you are talking to have their arms folded firmly across their chest? Though many of us are pretty comfortable in this position, it can have a couple of meanings. This person is showing that they might not be so comfortable — either with the conversation or with you.
Crossing your arms is a symbol of protection. We are guarding ourselves against something we don’t want to partake in, like the conversation or the potential for forming a bond with the person we are talking to.
3. Notice their eye movements.
The direction and movement of a person’s eyes can provide subtle clues about their thought process and emotions. Looking upwards can indicate that someone is accessing their memories or visualizing a scene, while looking to the side might suggest that they’re processing new information.
Rapid blinking or avoiding eye contact could imply nervousness or discomfort, while sustained eye contact often signals confidence or trust.
4. Observe if someone looks away during a conversation.
Is the other person avoiding eye contact? This can mean a few things. They are disinterested in you or the conversation, they are shy, or they are especially nervous. Once you talk to them a bit more, you’ll figure out which one of these reactions it is.
If you find the person looking around at other people or his/her watch, then it’s clear they are not interested in your conversation. If the person is looking down at the ground or at other inanimate objects, they may be shy or nervous.
5. Notice if the person is fidgeting constantly.
Do you ever talk to people who fidget endlessly? They are picking things off their clothes that aren’t there, twirling their hair, picking their hands or fingernails, or just can’t stay still. This behavior is one of the least understood nonverbal clues.
Some people fidget because of nervousness and general social discomfort. It can also reveal they are uncomfortable with the conversation or something you said. Fidgeting can be a defense mechanism for those who aren’t confident enough to speak up.
6. Watch for someone leaning in close.
When talking to someone, and he or she leaning in close to you, it can mean two things. This person feels comfortable with you and enjoys the conversation, or the person is affectionate and simply loves to be close to people.
When you step back, are they stepping in closer? This person means no harm — they enjoy your company and like you. Unfortunately, they may not be paying attention to your nonverbal cues to give you some space.
7. Pay attention to the way the person walks.
Do they shuffle their feet and hang their head down low, or do they walk tall and proud with their head held high? Those who shuffle and hold their heads down may be shy, lack self-esteem or confidence, or they might be lonely and need a good friend.
The ones who hold their heads high are more confident, proud, and happy. Be careful, though, as sometimes confidence can translate into arrogance or cockiness. You’ll know the difference when you begin talking to the person.
8. Be aware of the person’s posture.
Just like walking, posture can hold many clues about who someone is and what they’re all about. Remember the crossing arms tip? Well, there are a few other body positions to watch for, such as hands stuffed in pockets, slouched or straight shoulders, chest out, and head down or up.
To understand posture better, there are two things to remember: head up and shoulders back reflect confidence and pride (and it could signify this person is happy) and head down with shoulders slouched suggest low self-esteem or low confidence, nervousness, and shyness.
9. Pay attention to facial expressions.
The sooner you learn how to read people’s eyes, the sooner you’ll understand if they are happy, sad, displeased or any other emotion. It’s so important to make eye contact with someone to get a better look at his or her inner world.
Is the person smiling when they talk to you, or does he have a totally disinterested look on his face? Is she rolling her eyes, raising an eyebrow or maybe even smirking? Is their forehead furrowed in irritation or concern?Either they are genuinely interested in you and the conversation or completely bored and not that into it.
10. Be an active listener.
Actively listening means focusing not just on the words someone is saying but also on their tone, pacing, and pauses. A hesitant or shaky tone could indicate nervousness or uncertainty, while a faster pace might signal excitement or agitation.
Pauses, on the other hand, could suggest caution, thoughtfulness, or even holding back emotions. By being attentive to these nuances, you can better understand the person you’re interacting with and respond more empathetically.
11. Trust your intuition.
Sometimes, our instincts can be our most powerful tool for reading people. If you have a gut feeling about someone, don’t dismiss it. It could be a subconscious recognition of patterns or cues that you haven’t yet identified consciously.
While it’s important to pay attention to signs and signals, remember to be open-minded and allow room for adjustments as you learn more about the person. Try to strike a balance between intuition and active observation.
