Infidelity is a devastating experience that usually causes a lot of emotional pain, hurt, and confusion.
It can be tough to make sense of when you thought your relationship was strong and healthy.
Whether you’ve been affected by infidelity or are just curious about what drives some men to cheat, this article will provide informative insights into the three types of men who have affairs.
Read on to better understand the motivations and patterns associated with each type of male.
Why Do Men Have Affairs?
Exploring why men have affairs is a complicated and tricky endeavor, involving considerations around psychological and emotional states, cultural influences, and sometimes even physical needs.
It is important to remember that no two affairs are ever completely the same; that is to say, the underlying causes of each affair can vary drastically between men and even from one affair to the next.
However, there are a few common reasons why men have affairs. These include:
- A need for validation: Some men feel they need to prove something to themselves or others by having an affair. A failing sense of self-esteem requiring external gratification from someone other than their significant other can lead them down this path.
- Revenge: This can be due to feelings of anger or resentment stemming from conflicts between the couple and can also be a consequence of having been cheated on themselves.
- Opportunity: In cases where a man encounters what is seen as an ‘easy’ opportunity for infidelity, such as when traveling away from their home and significant other or when a temptress presents them with the choice.
- The thrill of novelty: Some men have affairs because of the thrill and excitement that comes with it – a sense of danger and unpredictability that may be missing in the security of their relationship.
- Sexual needs: One of the most common reasons cited for infidelity is an unsatisfactory sex life; a man may seek out affairs to fulfill his physical needs in ways his partner can’t or won’t.
- Cultural Pressure: In some cultures, it is seen as socially acceptable for a man to have more than one partner. This concept of polyamory or polygamy can be an influencing factor in why men have affairs.
While it’s hard to predict when a man will have an affair, some recognizable patterns exist among men who cheat.
Here are three types of men who tend to engage in extra-marital affairs:
1. The Womanizing Male
This man loves the thrill of the chase and the excitement of a new romance.
He craves attention, flattery, and admiration from women, and his relationship with them often has more to do with physical pleasure than emotional intimacy.
- He is allured by novelty, so he’ll never stay with one person for too long and doesn’t mind casual sex or one-night stands. In fact, he prefers it that way.
- At his core, this type of man is driven by his own ego and needs to be seen as the attractive, desirable one in the situation. He often sees himself as irresistible, can’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want him, and doesn’t believe that any woman is beyond his reach.
- He is usually quite charming and knows how to maneuver around people, which helps him get away with things or blur boundaries in relationships. He has no qualms about stringing people along or leading them on and has mastered the art of seduction.
- He will argue that one woman is not enough and has the right to “explore.” They may even believe having multiple partners is natural since it’s hardwired into men to spread their genes.
- This man is also always emotionally unavailable, so he will rarely take responsibility for his actions or feel any guilt about cheating.
Warning Signs of the Womanizer
It’s easy to fall into the trap of a womanizer, as they come off as really confident.
They know how to talk their way into your good graces or be plainly manipulative. As such, they can easily convince you that you are reading too much into their behavior.
The womanizer will often flirt with other women right in front of you and expect no repercussions.
He’ll be overly complimentary, constantly referring to other women as “hot” or “attractive” even when you’re around. They try to normalize their behavior by making it appear as if what they’re doing is perfectly acceptable.
The womanizer will also have a lot of sketchy friends or acquaintances who can vouch for him, and they’ll be all too willing to talk up his “good qualities.”
He’ll also be prone to disappearing, as he needs his alone time to go and pursue other women.
2. The Opportunist Male
The opportunist cheats because he sees an opportunity to do so.
In most cases, this man doesn’t feel trapped by his current relationship. He’s driven by impulse, not calculated thought or any deep feeling of dissatisfaction or unhappiness.
As such, he often moves on quickly once the experience is over.
- For him, cheating isn’t usually about finding someone new to be with but rather a momentary thrill.
- These men often see their infidelity as just a physical act and can’t understand why it’s such a big deal. They don’t consider that their actions have emotional repercussions and can find it hard to relate to the pain they caused.
- The opportunist may also be a serial cheater, as he believes there’s no harm in engaging in a few “harmless affairs” as long as he doesn’t get caught.
Some of the scenarios where an opportunist might act include:
- At a party, when wasted and looking for a temporary thrill
- On a business trip when away from their partner
- If someone flirts with them, giving them the green light to pursue something further
- When an old flame re-enters their life
- When someone approaches them for a one-night stand (this could be someone in the same social circle).
Warning Signs of the Opportunist Cheat
One of the most challenging types of cheaters to spot is the opportunist, as they lack consistency and won’t necessarily be unfaithful regularly.
Typically, the opportunist won’t be locked into any sort of routine. He might come home late from work for no good reason or have sudden cancellations of plans with you that he can’t explain.
He might also be more eager to go out and socialize than usual, leaving you feeling like a third wheel.
He may even start dressing better or buying new clothes without explanation, which could signal that he’s trying to impress someone else.
3. The Unhappy Cheating Male
The unhappy cheater is a man who feels that his current relationship isn’t giving him what he needs.
He may feel emotionally neglected or underappreciated, leading to him seeking recognition elsewhere.
Often the unhappiness has built up over months or years and eventually causes an emotional break within the relationship. He believes another woman can give him what his current partner doesn’t.
- The second woman becomes an escape for him. She offers temporary solace in which he can find comfort from his problems – however, only temporarily.
- For this kind of guy, cheating has become a way of avoiding dealing with difficult issues in the relationship. It’s a way of band-aiding over an uncomfortable emotion and avoiding confrontation.
- The unhappy cheater tends to be looking for an emotional connection with someone who might understand him better than his current partner.
- He may believe that he is saving the relationship or marriage by providing a much-needed ‘release’ from the stress of everyday life.
Some of the common reasons offered by the unhappy cheater include:
- His partner isn’t paying him enough attention
- He feels taken for granted
- The relationship has become too predictable and boring
- His partner is too demanding
- He wants to feel desired and appreciated
- He’s been feeling neglected, lonely, or unloved
Warning Signs of an Unhappy Cheat
Do you notice your partner becoming distant, uninterested in spending time together, or generally not engaging in the relationship? If so, this could signify that he’s searching for something more elsewhere.
He may also become increasingly critical of you and your relationship as if it’s constantly on trial – pushing you away to justify any potential cheating before it has even occurred.
Pay attention to his phone habits, too, if he’s always on it and won’t let you near it or if he takes a suspicious interest in deleting his text messages or emails.
Unfortunately, this is also the type of man who can become aggressive or violent as he no longer feels connected to the relationship and has become emotionally detached.
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Infidelity Warning Signs From a Married Man Cheating
Given that many types of cheaters exist, it’s nearly impossible to come up with a one-size-fits-all list of warning signs of cheating.
That said, there are some things to look out for.
- A sudden behavior change: If your husband suddenly has a new set of habits that don’t resemble the ones he had before, it might be worth questioning. This could include him spending more time away from home or on his phone, coming home late more often, or being more secretive about his whereabouts.
- He’s less interested in spending time with you: When a man falls out of love with his partner, he’ll naturally be less interested in spending time with her. This could mean that your husband cancels plans more often or isn’t interested in the things that used to excite him.
- His appearance changes: Cheaters usually make a conscious effort to impress the person they’re cheating with. As such, they might start wearing different clothes, changing their haircut, or working out more regularly.
- He’s evasive: If you confront him about something or ask him a question that he doesn’t want to answer, his response will usually be evasive rather than direct. He’ll avoid giving you a straight answer and might even resort to deflection or diversion tactics, such as accusing you of being too suspicious.
- He’s secretive: A cheating man is usually paranoid about being discovered, so they tend to be overly secretive about their whereabouts and activities. Their phones may be off limits, and they may start deleting their messages and become overly defensive when asked a direct question.
It’s important to remember that these are only warning signs, and they don’t necessarily mean that your partner is cheating.
If you’re worried about the state of your relationship, it could be a good idea to talk openly with your husband and ask him directly what’s going on.
Understanding Infidelity from a Man’s Perspective
Men often tend to view infidelity differently than women do. For some men, it is often less about emotional connection and more about a physical act.
This attitude doesn’t mean that men don’t have the capacity or ability to form emotional connections, but it may make them more likely to compartmentalize their emotions and stay in a relationship while they pursue other partners.
In some cases, men might even turn to infidelity to deal with feelings of insecurity or low self-esteem.
They might feel more desirable or attractive if they can attract and maintain relationships with other women, even if it is only a physical relationship.
It’s important to remember that infidelity isn’t caused by gender but rather by the individual’s choices and values.
Understanding this can help both men and women to be better equipped to handle the situation if it arises or prevent it from happening in the first place.