An introvert and an extrovert make for quite the odd couple.
One is a wallflower, and the other is the life of the party.
But opposites attract, and attraction between an introvert and an extrovert is bound to happen.
But can an introvert date an extrovert?
If you’re wondering if an introvert-extrovert relationship can work, don’t worry because in many pairings, it works beautifully.
The following tips will help you make it a success and prove all the naysayers wrong.
Is Dating an Introvert Hard?
It’s true that dating an introvert doesn’t come without challenges. Then again, what relationship doesn’t? Here’s why dating an introvert can still work:
- Opposites attract: It’s just like the old saying, and there are no greater opposites than an extrovert and an introvert.
- The best of both worlds: People will see you as a balanced duo, and you complement each other well.
- It’s exciting and adventurous: You get to have new experiences that you wouldn’t have with anyone else, namely someone who’s more like you.
- You learn a lot from the relationship: Just from dating each other, you find out how to grow and be better people.
It’s important to remember that “hard” doesn’t mean “impossible.” What ultimately matters is that you’re dating someone you want to hold onto. In this case, you’ll want to know if an introvert-extrovert relationship is worthwhile.
Is An Introvert a Good Match with an Extrovert?
One of the biggest questions about the introvert-extrovert relationship is: “Are introverts bad at dating?” They’re generally not – not more than any other person. But they’re more subtle about romantic cues, which can come off as awkward or stand-offish.
Another huge question is: “Are extroverts attracted to introverts?” and the answer is, they definitely can be. It all depends on each person’s individual traits and the interests they share between them.
An Introvert Dating An Extrovert: 11 Must-Know Tips
If you’re in an introvert-extrovert relationship, you may be confused about how to navigate this ying and yang dynamic. Here are several things you need to know about an introvert dating an extrovert:
1. Be a little more direct.
Some people think that because someone is talking to them, it means the talker must like them. Introverts assume talking to their crush lets Mr. or Ms. Wonderful know their attraction to them.
To the extrovert, it’s simply another conversation, so the introvert needs to offer a little more than small talk. Giving your phone number is a solid, time-tested way to hint that you’re interested.
2. Tell them your thoughts.
As an introvert, you might have a gazillion silent thoughts in your head, but an extrovert doesn’t know that. Offer the extrovert a topic to seize onto, and you’ll find how easy the conversation can be.
Just starting a conversation with a sentence or two can be enough to get the extrovert going. You won’t have to answer back constantly, and it will be an excellent opportunity to talk at your own pace.
3. Let them know when you’re uncomfortable.
If you’ve had enough of a party, an extrovert may not pick up on your subtle signs of discomfort, especially at a scene with loud music and a bunch of people.
You need to tell them politely that you’re feeling overstimulated or you’ve hit a wall. Thank them for the experience but let them know your honest feelings about it.
This socializing difference is a biggie – one that will protect both of you from ongoing conflict if you work it out early in your dating.
4. Tell them your need for alone time.
The introvert craves time away from people to recharge, whereas the extrovert gets energy from socializing.
But if you simply say to an extrovert, “I need to be alone,” it may come off as a rejection or slight. Instead, let them know how much you enjoy being in their company, but you need some quiet time for your mental and emotional health.
5. Learn to compromise.
An introvert and extrovert couple don’t need to be at odds about their differences. They just need to learn how and when to compromise.
There is a happy medium you can reach together if you have an open conversation and hear one another.
An introvert does very well with a group of a few people for an intimate get-together, and an extrovert enjoys socializing often. So making time for more frequent social events but on a smaller scale can do the trick.
Or you might decide together that you take separate cars to an event so the introvert can leave when they need to.
6. Find common interests.
Doing things that involve only the two of you is great for the relationship. It gives an introvert solitude away from other people, while an extrovert gets to be out in the world.
Activities like hiking or going to a movie are examples of activities an introvert and an extrovert might both enjoy. Uncover your shared hobbies or interests, and you’ll always have a way to bond and enjoy time together.
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7. Big parties aren’t all bad.
An introvert also can attend some bigger social events by stretching themselves a little. Since an introvert has a hard time breaking the ice, they don’t often enjoy going to events with a bunch of strangers.
The extrovert can come to the rescue by introducing the introvert to new people and helping them become comfortable with the event. It helps if you can include the introvert’s friends and favorite music or food there.
8. New places can be a lot of fun.
The introvert may have difficulty relaxing in a new place when traveling. If they’re on vacation, introverts usually can’t wait to return home and sleep in their own beds.
It helps for an introvert to plan ahead. Find fun activities you’ll enjoy and familiarizing yourself with the area and surroundings before you leave home. Bring your own pillow and blanket if necessary.
These simple actions will do a lot to lessen feelings of anxiety. It’s even better if you’re going to a new place where you already know someone there.
9. Be yourself.
It’s easy to assume that if you’re in an introvert-extrovert relationship, the introvert has to morph into an extrovert and become the life of the party.
But that’s not true, much less necessary. It’s certainly not sustainable.
Instead, you do you and let the extrovert be in their element. Focus on relaxing and being comfortable rather than feeling pressured to be in the spotlight or talk to a bunch of people.
10. Sometimes they need to be away, too.
Just as an introvert needs time alone to recharge away from everyone, even their significant other, the extrovert also needs to socialize without you sometimes.
Don’t take it personally when they want to have a night out with their friends. By seeing it as a win-win for both of you, you can take advantage of the solitude, and enjoy some quiet activities you can’t do with your person around. You’ll be back to doing things together again.
11. Take pride in complementing them.
There’s no better listener than an introvert, and an extrovert has a lot to say. So when extrovert needs to vent or share their thoughts, you’ll have no problem being an excellent listener and best friend for your partner.
And when they’re stressed out, you can take comfort knowing you’re there to help them relax. Taking a break together can only strengthen the relationship.
Should an Introvert Marry an Extrovert?
If you’re in an introvert-extrovert relationship and making it work, chances are you’ll consider marriage at some point. But you may be confused and unsure if this happy match will last given your differences. So, should an introvert marry an extrovert?
Marriage is a big commitment that requires more consideration than a long-term relationship, much less a newish dating situation. Here are a few things to keep in mind when it comes to an introvert-extrovert marriage.
- Communication is crucial: The extrovert needs to communicate just as much as you do, if not more so. That means letting you know whenever they invite people over to the house without informing you first – which can be a cause of fights.
- It’s up to you to set clear boundaries for social interaction: Not only is it your right, but it’s also your responsibility. If you don’t express that you don’t want to be interrupted, for example, then you can’t be mad when your extrovert partner does so.
- Be self-aware: Understanding yourself and how you express your introversion is essential. Both introversion and extroversion are on a spectrum, and the traits aren’t necessarily set in stone. Look at how you may be set in your ways and where you should compromise for the sake of the relationship.
- Be more empathic: Instead feeling misunderstood, recognize that you have someone who wants to connect with you. Have compassion and gratitude when your spouse jabbers on about a topic you find uninteresting. They aren’t trying to irritate you – they may just need a bit more attention.
The introvert-extrovert relationship can be exciting and challenging. Fortunately, it is not impossible to make such a relationship or even marriage work. Knowing how to navigate the differences between your personalities is can ensure yours is a perfect match.