How often have you wondered, “Does my husband love me?”
If his behavior has changed and you feel that he is no longer the man you married, it’s natural to wonder if his feelings for you have changed.
Some signs indicate trouble in your relationship but may not necessarily mean he doesn’t love you.
The first few years of marriage can be blissful for many couples.
Your husband was so loving the night you said ‘I do,’ and he was so sweet to you when you first married.
But, as time goes on and the wedding memories begin to fade, you may notice your guy’s behavior changing.
You may think, “My husband doesn’t love me anymore.”
If so, you’re not alone.
Many women have experienced this painful situation and have had to deal with the uncertainty that comes with it.
27 Signs Your Husband Isn’t in Love with You
If you’re concerned that your husband no longer loves you, then here are some signs that can help you determine whether or not he is in love with you anymore.
1. He stops calling or texting just to say, “I love you.”
Does he only call when something is wrong, or he wants something from you (like sex)? Is this a new pattern?
He used to call you every day and text several times a day. Now it’s crickets.
Perhaps he’s just busier than normal, but it feels off. His feelings for you may have changed, especially if you see this happening along with some of the other signs listed here.
2. He doesn’t ask how your day went anymore.
He’s become indifferent to you and how your life is going. It seems he’s in his head more and rarely asks about you or inquires about your day.
Maybe he’s distracted by something at work, but if this behavior has gone on for a while, pay attention. He may be signaling that his feelings have changed.
3. He avoids talking about the future.
If there is no talk about the future between you and your husband, he has lost interest in spending time with you or being around you.
He is MIA when it comes to discussing plans for your future together as a couple or family unit.
4. He acts differently around you.
If your husband is no longer affectionate towards you and acts differently around you, it’s a sign that he may not be in love with you anymore.
Your husband may have stopped trying to be close to you and has become distant and disengaged.
5. He’s started ignoring your phone calls.
He ignores them even when they’re important – like reminding him about a scheduled event or letting him know he needs to pick up the kids.
It doesn’t seem to matter that he’s inconveniencing you or causing you to worry. It’s clear that he just doesn’t want to talk to you.
6. He’s no longer interested in sex.
Sex is a major part of any marriage, and it can be a barometer of how well things are going between you and your spouse.
If he’s no longer interested in sex, it could indicate that he’s lost interest in your relationship.
It’s not unusual for many couples in long-term relationships to have trouble being intimate with each other. But something is off when he starts acting like you’re a roommate or housemate instead of his love partner.
7. He’s started to notice other women.
If your husband has been staring at another woman or flirting with her, he may not love you anymore.
He may still have feelings for you, but he’s not in love with you anymore. If you’re getting worried about this, it may be time to talk to him about how he feels and what he wants from the relationship.
8. You can’t remember when he last said ‘I love you.”
If your husband hasn’t told you “I love you” in a while, then there may be something wrong with your relationship.
It’s important to remember that saying those three words shows how much someone cares, and if he doesn’t tell you often enough or has stopped saying it altogether, it’s time to pay attention.
9. He doesn’t show any affection towards you.
There’s no more holding hands or hugging in public. If this is happening, then it’s time for some serious communication between the two of you.
It doesn’t matter if he’s tired or stressed out — if he doesn’t have time for his wife anymore, something needs to change.
10. He makes plans with friends without consulting you.
If your husband is no longer interested in spending time with you, his love for you may be waning.
Married couples are often busy raising kids and working to support their families, but both partners need to make time for each other.
If your husband makes plans with his friends without asking your opinion or inviting you along, he may have lost interest in spending time with you.
11. He loses his temper over little things.
When people are in love, they want to help their partner feel better. But when a man has lost interest, he may lash out when you seem upset because your needs are irritating to him.
If your husband has been acting this way toward you lately, it could suggest that he no longer loves you as he once did.
12. He doesn’t want to go on dates with you.
The two of you used to have regular date nights, and he took pleasure in planning the perfect night together.
Now he never suggests going out (at least not with you), and when you suggest it, he always has an excuse not to go. It seems like he’d rather do anything to avoid spending time alone with you.
His indifference toward you is palpable, and you’re not feeling the love he easily showed you in the past.
13. He bad-mouths you in front of others.
It’s a classic sign of a failing relationship when a spouse starts tearing down his other half.
If he says negative things about you when people are around, he may be trying to get others on his side. He is looking for validation that his loss of feelings for you is justified.
Or he may be attempting to communicate his lack of feelings through friends or family. He doesn’t have the courage to address the issue directly with you, so he lets things slip that he knows will get back to you.
14. He finds fault with everything you do.
Has your husband suddenly begun criticizing everything you do? It could signify that he feels trapped because he has lost interest in the relationship.
You might be doing the same things you’ve always done, but he might be finding them intolerable now.
It’s a common symptom of marriage dissatisfaction—we tend to focus on our partner’s flaws and nitpick at everything they do.
If he does this all the time, he may not want to be with you anymore and is trying to find reasons to leave.
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15. Are you living more like roommates than a couple?
Some people are comfortable with a more platonic marriage, and that’s okay if it is a mutual agreement and other things are holding them together.
However, it’s not healthy if your lives are so separate that you no longer know what’s important to each other on a personal level.
You’re growing apart, and your husband resists your attempts to steer things back to a deeper, loving connection.
16. He doesn’t listen to you when you’re talking.
You tell him about something at work, an argument with your mother, or your dream last night, and he sits there with a blank look on his face. He’ll nod and say, “uh-huh,” but in your mind, you’re thinking, “Why isn’t he saying anything? Isn’t he interested?”
When you ask what he’s thinking, he’ll reply that he listened to everything you said but didn’t have anything to add. But you know he’s tuning you out.
17. He no longer goes out of his way to romance you.
It’s normal to feel loved when you get a present or when your spouse goes out of his way to plan a special evening.
But his romantic flame seems to have sputtered out. He doesn’t come up behind you to kiss your neck or share your private jokes anymore.
All of those little loving gestures and remarks have disappeared, and it feels like the loving breath of the marriage has been sucked out of your lives.
18. He doesn’t make positive changes for you.
A husband who no longer loves his wife stops striving to make himself a better person for you.
He may have become comfortable enough in his routine that he has stopped seeing the need for change. Or maybe he just doesn’t care about impressing you anymore.
Whatever the reason, when a man stops working on himself because he no longer cares what his wife thinks, it can devastate her.
19. He no longer tries to make you laugh.
He used to joke around and act silly and playful with you all the time. Now he’s serious and distracted – and it has nothing to do with work.
If you try to be funny or playful with him, he doesn’t engage or even crack a smile. Clearly, he’s growing disenchanted with your relationship and you.
20. You argue more than you used to.
If you’ve been together for a while, the issue could be that his love has faded over time. It’s easy to take each other for granted and lose sight of the reasons why you fell in love in the first place.
Couples can fall into a routine when this happens and start fighting more frequently over chores or finances.
Or they can get into an unhealthy cycle of bickering about anything just to avoid addressing the real issues in the marriage.
21. He takes you for granted.
When you first got together, your husband was so happy and grateful to have a future with you. He was super attentive at the beginning of the relationship, and he made sure to show it in any way possible.
He gave you gifts not just for special occasions but because he thought of them.
His affection showed through special touches and conversations at emotional times in life, like when you had your first child or when one of your parents passed away.
Now he acts like you’re a convenient piece of furniture, there to manage your responsibilities because that’s your purpose. If he still loves you, he sure doesn’t show it.
22. He’s bored with you.
At times, you and your spouse will both be bored with each other, so it’s good for your marriage to try new and fun things together.
Your husband doesn’t hide his boredom with you, but he doesn’t make any effort to make your life together more enjoyable either.
He complains about his “terrible life,” clearly implying that you are the source of his woes and the reason for his boredom.
Perhaps he’s stopped making any investment in growing together and strengthening your bond because he doesn’t see a future with you any longer.
23. He forgets important dates like your birthday or anniversary.
While it’s nice that he remembers the big holidays—Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas—it’s not okay when you’re an afterthought.
If he forgets your birthday or anniversary (or both), then it might be time to have a serious talk about your relationship.
It’s not necessarily a sign he doesn’t love you, as some men are just forgetful or have too much on their plates. But if this forgetfulness is new or combined with some other signs, he may be in a love slump.
24. He doesn’t seem to miss you when you’re apart.
It’s hard to miss what you don’t have. If he doesn’t seem to miss you when you’re apart, then it could suggest that he doesn’t love you anymore.
Does he takes long trips but isn’t happy to see you when he comes home? Does he suggest you and the kids stay an extra week on your vacation that he refused to join? Does he act angry or resentful when you do come home?
This behavior shows that there’s trouble in the relationship and discontent with you.
25. He doesn’t show you respect as his wife.
A man should be protective and respectful of his life partner. He should show you how much he cherishes and loves you.
His feelings for you are in doubt if he makes rude comments, is disrespectful, or allows others to speak unkindly about you in his presence.
Disrespect and contempt are two primary signs that he doesn’t love you as he once did.
26. He confides in other people rather than you.
Your spouse is supposed to be your soulmate who is there for you no matter what without judgment. You’ve always confided your deepest thoughts and feelings with one another.
But not so much recently. He rarely reveals anything more than the most superficial daily events.
If he is more comfortable discussing his personal feelings with someone else, it’s a sign he doesn’t trust you or fears revealing his true feelings about your marriage with you.
27. He spends a lot of time away from home.
A lot of men travel for business, and some must travel frequently. But you’ve noticed an uptick in his travel. He seems to take on more out-of-town projects intentionally.
Most loving partners speak by phone or text one another daily when they are apart. But your husband might check in once only to pass on some necessary information.
If he doesn’t call you or makes up excuses to leave the minute he gets home (needs to run errands, drinks with the guys, or needs alone time), these are signs that he’s checking out of the relationship.
Why Doesn’t My Husband Love Me?
When a man loves you, he’ll act like it. He’ll make time for you, even if it means rearranging his schedule and making sacrifices.
When he’s home, he’ll be present with you. He’ll talk to you about your day and listen to yours. He’ll want to spend time with you – going out or just hanging together at home.
But people’s feelings can change over time for a variety of reasons. If you’ve noticed a change in your husband, here are some possible reasons to consider:
- Stress at work and family obligations are overwhelming him. He feels resentful and may blame you.
- He may not feel appreciated, respected, or valued by you. You may not be meeting some of his core needs in the marriage.
- He has met someone else and has fallen in love with her.
- You’ve simply grown apart in your interests and values. His love has faded over time.
- He’s dealing with a mental health issue like depression that makes it hard to show or even feel love.
- He isn’t physically attracted to you any longer, and it’s impacted his feelings of love for you.
The nature of marriage is that you’ll go through different stages where one or both of you are changing and evolving. It can lead to challenges, arguments, and resentment, resulting in the feeling that your partner no longer loves you—which could be untrue.
If your husband has changed his behavior, it’s not a good sign. It may not mean he doesn’t love you anymore, but he is showing signs that he’s not happy in the relationship.
If you see any signs that your husband doesn’t love you, you have two options: leave the relationship or try to fix it.
What to Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Love You Anymore
When there is no love in a relationship, the natural conclusion is to end it.
But don’t choose this option without giving him the chance to open up. Insist on marriage counseling, and let him know you want your marriage to work and for him to be happy again.
It’s important to remember that just because your husband doesn’t show interest in spending time together doesn’t mean he no longer loves you.
You may need to talk to him about how he feels and ask if he wants things to change between you two.
If it seems like your husband doesn’t love you but wants to stay together, your relationship has a chance of improving. Some professional help could bring back that spark you once had and rekindle your romance!