So you’ve met a new woman in your life, and you feel excited but trepidatious.
Are her intentions the same as yours?
Is she playing games or just not interested?
You feel vulnerable trusting a new partner, and it’s essential to know whether or not she’s on the same page as you.
The signs she’s a playercan be subtle; sometimes, they don’t appear until it may be too late.
That’s why it pays to know how to identify if your new love interest is gaming you.
Once you know the tell-tale indicators that she’s playing you for a fool, you can decide whether you should hold on in hopes things change or let her go.
What Does It Mean When a Girl Plays You?
When a girl plays you, she is using and manipulating you for her enjoyment or gain.
It may be hard to understand a player’s motivations, so here are some of the reasons why she may be doing this:
She may be after something material, like money or gifts.
She might be bored and looking for attention.
She could be using you to make another person jealous.
She could be using you as a rebound while waiting for someone else to come around.
She could be using you to get closer to someone else.
No matter her motivation, it’s vital to look out for the signs that she’s a player so that you can ensure you don’t get your heart broken or your wallet emptied.
How to Know If a Girl Is Playing You: 17 Signs You Should Know
One of these signs alone doesn’t mean she’s playing you. There could be legitimate reasons for many of these on the list. You want to look for patterns of consistent and numerous hurtful behaviors that solidify her player status.
Read on to see where your new lady stands.
1. She Doesn’t Respond to Your Texts or Calls
Some people take time to get back to text messages, but if this is a regular occurrence with her, it could be a sign that she doesn’t really care about you and is just playing along.
You may even see that she’s read your messages and not replied, or she may only message you during certain times of the day, such as late in the evening, showing that you’re a low priority.
It’s important to ask her why she isn’t responding, and if it’s a regular occurrence, consider whether this relationship works for you.
2. She Doesn’t Introduce You to Her Family or Friends
If she’s avoiding introducing you to her family or friends, it could be a sign that she isn’t serious about the relationship and doesn’t want them to know about you.
You may notice her saying things like, “I don’t think my parents are ready to meet anyone,” or, “my friends would judge me if they knew who I was dating.”
If she isn’t willing to be open and honest with the people closest to her about your relationship, it could be a sign that she doesn’t plan on staying in it.
3. She Doesn’t Want to Meet Your Friends or Family
Similarly, if she’s unwilling to meet the people close to you, it could be a sign she’s a player. She may deflect from social settings by saying things like, “I’m not feeling up to meeting people today,” or “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to meet your friends.”
Suppose you’ve been dating for a while and want her to attend important events such as weddings or family functions.
In that case, her refusal could suggest she’s not interested in investing energy or time into the relationship.
4. She Flirts With Other People
Have you noticed her flirting with other people? If so, it’s a sure sign that she doesn’t take your relationship seriously.
Even if she tries to explain it away by saying things like, “I was just being friendly,” or “They were just trying to make conversation,” these are major red flags.
Flirting crosses the line when it becomes physical or romantic, or sexual references are made. If you notice any of those signs, it’s time to talk with her about her behavior.
5. She Goes Silent for Long Periods of Time
If you notice that she goes silent for long periods, it sure seems she doesn’t care about getting to know you.
She may be dating other people and trying to juggle her interactions with them.
Has she been in touch all week and suddenly disappeared for the weekend? Does she not reply to your messages for long periods? Her radio silence communicates volumes.
If you’re in a relationship and she’s not making an effort to communicate with you, it could be a sign that she isn’t interested in the same type of commitment you are.
6. She Avoids Talking About The Future
Every relationship is different, so it’s crucial to have honest conversations about where things are going between you.
If she avoids discussing the future or won’t commit to plans more than a week ahead, it could be a sign that she’s not serious.
She may make excuses such as “I don’t know what I’ll be doing next week” or “I’m not sure if I can commit to that.”
If she avoids discussing the future, it could signify that she’s just in it for fun and doesn’t want to get tied down.
7. You Catch Her in Small Lies
Small inconsistencies, such as changing the time when she said she was somewhere or what she was doing, may indicate bigger issues.
If she’s not being honest and transparent with you, it could be a sign that she doesn’t see the relationship going anywhere and is trying to keep things casual.
If your gut is telling you something isn’t right with her stories and you’re asking yourself, “Is she playing me?” don’t be afraid to communicate with her and ask her questions.
8. She Is Vague About Her Life
If she’s not giving you details about her life or where she goes, it seems she’s trying to keep her distance from you. She may give generic answers to your questions, such as, “I just hung out with some friends” or “I went out for lunch.”
These vague answers may also signify that she’s not interested in telling you too much about her life or getting to know you.
If your partner is canceling plans, especially last minute, it can indicate that she is prioritizing other things in her life over you.
She may give reasons such as “I’m feeling sick” or “I have a lot of work to do.”
It could also suggest that she’s seeing someone else and doesn’t want to commit to plans with you.
10. Her Mood Changes Like the Weather
If her mood is constantly shifting and you can’t quite figure out what she’s thinking or feeling, this could be a sign that she’s playing games.
She may be hot one moment and cold the next and uses her feelings to control you and the relationship for her own weird reasons.
11. She Avoids the “Girlfriend” Word
If your partner is avoiding talking about labels or referring to you as her “girlfriend,” this could be a sign that she’s not taking the relationship seriously.
Not using the girlfriend word could mean several things: she could be afraid of commitment, not trusting you enough yet, or seeing other people.
If your partner is unwilling to label the relationship after a few months, it’s worth conversing with her about where things are going and what she wants.
12. You’re the One Doing All the Work
In any relationship, both parties should put in the effort to make things work. If you find yourself being the one who always initiates conversations or plans, it could be a sign that your partner is not interested in investing in the relationship.
Suppose she’s not making an effort to communicate with you, doesn’t respond to your texts or calls, or only reaches out when she wants something from you. In that case, she may have ulterior motives in the relationship.
13. She Won’t Show Affection Publicly
Some women don’t like public displays of affection from their partners – but many women do. So is she playing games or not interested?
The answer may be either of these. But it could be her preferences and privacy boundaries. Asking her directly how she feels about public displays of affection might help get to the bottom of it.
14. You Feel Unsatisfied in the Relationship
Sometimes when someone is playing games, you can feel it in your gut that something isn’t quite right. If this is the case, you may wonder if staying in the relationship is worth it or if it’s time to move on.
Ultimately, only you can decide what’s best for you and your situation. If her actions are causing you unhappiness and dissatisfaction, it may be a sign that she’s not taking the relationship seriously and is playing games with you.
15. She’s Overly Critical of You
Another emotional control tactic that a player may use is to be overly critical of you and your actions. She may frequently criticize how you dress, act, or talk to make you feel bad about yourself and give her control over the relationship.
If your partner is always pointing out faults and flaws rather than celebrating your successes, she’s likely playing games with you.
16. She’s Only Interested in Sex
It’s possible you may be in the rebound category for a player.
If your partner is only interested in sex but doesn’t make any effort to get to know you or form an emotional bond with you, she could be using you for her own gain and not taking the relationship seriously.
She may interrupt your requests for other activities by initiating a sexual encounter or be uninterested in discussing anything but sex.
This behavior is a sign that she’s likely not interested in real intimacy and is instead playing games with you.
17. She Ignores Your Feelings
If your partner never takes the time to consider how her words and actions make you feel, she’s likely playing games with you.
She may be dismissive of your feelings or try to minimize them by brushing off your concerns and making light of any issues that arise between the two of you.
It’s important in any relationship to have a mutual understanding and respect for each other’s feelings, so if yours is not doing this, it could be a sign that she’s not playing fair.
What to Do If You Think She’s a Player
Now that you’ve reviewed these 17 signs that your partner may be playing games with you, it’s time to decide how to act and confront the situation.
Here are a few ideas of what you can do:
Have an honest conversation about where the relationship is going and what she wants out of it. Let her know your needs and desires as well.
Take some time to think things through before making any decisions. Space can help you to make choices based on your rationale instead of your immediate feelings.
Consider if the relationship is worth saving and if there are any actions you can take to remedy the situation. Do you really like her enough to fight for the relationship?
If none of those work, it may be time to end the relationship altogether.
Regardless of your decision, remember that your feelings are valid and that you deserve a healthy, honest relationship with someone who respects you.
Final Thoughts
Dating a player can be tough if you seek a secure and loving relationship. But by being aware of the warning signs, you’re better able to protect yourself and your heart.
Even if your current relationship isn’t the one for you, you’re on your way to finding a worthy partner by being honest and not settling for less.
