“I still love you, but I’m not in love with you” is not just a line from the movies.
It’s absolutely possible to still care deeply about a partner, even if you know that partner isn’t the one.
It’s also possible to end the relationship amicably and while doing your best to hurt their feelings as little as possible.
If you need to break up with someone, choose a goodbye emotional break-up letter to your boyfriend or girlfriend from our list below.
How to Write a Break-Up Letter
Another cliche that holds true: Breaking up is hard to do.
That’s especially true when you still care about the person you are ending it with.
You might have a general idea of what you want to say but have a difficult time putting it into words.
Here are some things to consider when writing a breakup letter:
Be honest. Even if it’s hard. Don’t beat around the bush. Be direct.
Be kind. Or at least kind-ish. No need to be harsh– there’s enough hate in the world.
Be clear. Specify why it must end and leave no room for doubt that it’s truly over.
Refrain from insults. Keep it constructive. Your soon-to-be-ex doesn’t need to know the sound of them chewing makes you want to vomit or that their cooking is best suited for dogs.
Avoid blame. The point is to explain what happened and why it must end, not point fingers. Even if they are at fault.
Hold them accountable. It’s a chance to tell them what went wrong– without insults or blame!
Expect follow-up. Face-to-face is usually best, but a letter can be a tool in your breakup. Expect to discuss further, perhaps even console them.
Break-Up Letter to Someone You Love: 14 Sample Letters for Him or Her
Couples break up for a multitude of reasons: infidelity, growing apart, meeting someone new, wanting different things from life, moving away, abuse, not being ready to commit, issues with their family– the list goes on and on. It may be mutual or it may be one-sided.
These sample letters cover an array of reasons to end your relationship and can relieve some of the pressure that comes with hurting someone you care about.
7 Break-Up Letters to Boyfriend
Your reasons for ending your relationship are your own. If the time has come to break up with your boyfriend, these break-up letters will surely help.
1. Cheating
John,
I have no doubt you saw this coming. You hurt me and betrayed my trust like I never thought you would. I loved you with all of my heart, and I believe in your own way you once loved me too. But our relationship can’t survive your infidelity.
While it will take me a long time, I know someday I’ll find a way to forgive you. Although truthfully that will be for my own benefit, not yours.
I hope for your sake and for the sake of whoever you end up with, you learn something from your mistakes. I hope you learn to respect your future partner and yourself.
Jill
2. Growing apart
Dear John,
While this is extremely hard to do, I believe we both know we’ve drifted apart over the past few months. Our connection used to be so strong, but lately, our relationship feels more like a friendship than a romantic one.
I want you to know that I still care about you deeply, but the time has come for us to part ways. We both deserve to be with someone who makes us happier than we ever thought possible.
I sincerely wish you all the best that life has to offer and I hope one day we can be friends.
Love,
Jill
3. Moving away
Dear John,
While it pains me to a great extent that we can’t stay together, I simply cannot pass up this opportunity. You know I’ve been working toward a promotion like this for so long, and I hope you understand why I have to leave. I just have to do what’s right for me right now, and asking you to follow me isn’t fair to you or the beautiful life you have here.
Please know that I still love you and care about you immensely. You will always have a special place in my heart. I hope one day you can forgive me.
Love,
Jill
4. It’s not you, it’s me
Dear John,
I’m not sure how to say this so I’ll just say it: We need to break up. Please know there’s nothing wrong with you as a person. You have so many good qualities– you’re kind, smart, funny, attractive, caring, and loyal. But I just don’t feel the spark, the connection, the love between us anymore.
I’m sorry if this comes as a surprise to you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but we both know that’s not a reason to stay together. I need to move on, and so do you.
Best wishes,
Jill
5. Meeting someone new
John,
This is not an easy letter to write, but you deserve honesty. I recently met someone else and want to pursue a relationship with him. I assure you there has been no physical infidelity, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t developed feelings for him.
Please know that this has nothing to do you with. Sometimes things just don’t work out the way we thought they would. You deserve someone who loves you with all her heart, but that can no longer be me.
I hope someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
Jill
6. Wanting different things from life
Dear John,
I can’t believe what I’m about to say. While being with you has been one of the best, most memorable experiences of my life, we can no longer deny that we simply want different things. I thought we could get through anything.
I thought we could make it work. But the truth is it isn’t fair to either of us to settle in such important ways. I want to break up now before resentment sets in. We both deserve a partner who wants the same things.
I know you will make somebody very happy someday.
With love,
Jill
7. Emotional Abuse
John,
When we met, I thought you were the most wonderful person in the world. I thought I had found the love of my life and that you would always treat me kindly and with love and respect. Sadly, that has not been the case at all.
No one deserves to go through what you’ve put me through. No one deserves to go through the fear and humiliation I faced.
Your abuse is out of line and I refuse to put up with it for another second of my life.
We are over for good. Please do not contact me in any way. I will not respond.
If, for whatever reason, you’re just not that into her anymore, use one of these break-up paragraphs to get out of the relationship completely and easily.
8. Let’s be friends
Dear Jill,
I think we both saw this coming. We’ve talked a lot lately about the missing spark between us, and it’s just not something we should ignore any longer. I care about you so much and I believe you care about me too. Breaking up feels right, and I think you feel it too.
You’re an amazing person and I sincerely hope we can remain friends. It might take some effort and might even feel a bit awkward at first, but you really do mean a lot to mean and I want to make a friendship with you work.
Thank you so much for everything.
Love,
John
9. Lying
Jill,
The time has come for us to break up. I can no longer take your constant lies and manipulation. And to be frank, I don’t deserve any of it. I want and deserve to be with someone I can trust and who respects me, and that’s just not you.
Considering the number of lies I am aware of, I can only imagine how many more there are. I sincerely hope you can overcome these bad, unhelpful habits. No one should have to put up with it. They don’t serve anyone, least of all someone you claim to love.
Best of luck,
John
10. There’s someone else
Jill,
I know there’s a good chance you will hate me for what I’m about to tell you, but I have to be honest. I have developed feelings for someone else. I tried hard to remain faithful to you, but I can’t ignore it any longer.
This is not at all your fault. You are a wonderful, beautiful person you are and you deserve someone who will love you with all their heart. I will always cherish the time we spent together. But it’s not right for me to stay in this relationship, feeling the way I do.
I hope someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
Take care,
John
11. Family issues
Dear Jill,
We have loved and cared for each other for a long time. I still love and care for you deeply. But sometimes love between two people just isn’t enough.
The friction between your family and me is just too much to bear any longer. I tried so hard to get along with them but it’s just not happening. I never seem to be enough for them.
Now, their rudeness and poor treatment of me have taken a toll on my mental health. I won’t subject myself to it. I deserve to be treated with respect.
It wouldn’t be fair to expect you to choose between your family and me, so I think it’s best we part ways.
Jill
12. Not ready to commit
Dear Jill,
There is something very special about you. You’re a beautiful, wonderful, kindhearted, loving person, and you deserve someone who is able to give you all the things you want in life. Unfortunately, that isn’t me and I think we should break up.
Please know this has nothing to do with you but is a reflection on my commitment issues. I very much enjoy spending time with you. I’m just not ready for the kind of serious relationship you want and deserve.
I know there is somebody better out there for you, and I want you to be able to find him.
I wish you luck in love and life.
Warmly,
John
13. Long-distance issues
Dear Jill,
I’ve been thinking long and hard about our relationship, and I believe the time has come to go our separate ways. This decision did not come easily as I still love you and care about you deeply.
But the distance between us is no longer bearable. I spend so much time missing you and hoping to hear from you, wishing you were here with me or that I was there with you, wondering what you’re doing and who you’re with. Regular texts, phone calls, and video chats just can’t replace seeing you in person and holding you in my arms.
I will always cherish our time together, and I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors.
With love,
John
14. Faded love
Dear Jill,
As difficult as it is, I must be honest with you. The romantic feelings of love I once had for you have faded. While I still care about you immensely and don’t know specifically what changed, I do know that our connection is gone.
I no longer feel the bond we used to share and believe the time has come for us to part ways.
Please know this isn’t your fault. You are an amazing person and deserve someone who can love you fully and deeply. Unfortunately, that person is no longer me. It would be unfair to both of us to go on like this.
I wish you nothing but happiness in life.
Best of luck,
John
You both deserve to be happy and with someone who is right for you. Prolonging or putting off a breakup only makes it harder– on you and on your partner.
Choose a breakup letter that fits your situation. Use it as is or tweak it a bit to make it more “you.” Either way, a letter can provide closure, regardless of how long you’ve been together or your reasons for ending it.
