Cry as much as you need to, it’s a great way to release emotions and heal. You don’t have to be ashamed to cry and you don’t have to feel bad about it. Men have been conditioned not to cry, but that’s just conditioning and crying isn’t just okay but it’s also going to help you heal faster if you can fully release all of your feelings.
The world seems to be reeling from one crisis to another. We’ve experienced a global pandemic, economic uncertainty, political and social turmoil. Then there are personal traumas that people are dealing with, such as the loss of a loved one, health issues, unemployment, divorce or the loss of a job.
Coping with change can be traumatic as it often affects every part of our lives.
How do you deal with loss or change in your life? What coping strategies can you use? Do you ignore them and just push through, or do you use specific techniques?
In this series called “5 Things You Need To Heal After a Dramatic Loss Or Life Change” we are interviewing successful people who were able to heal after a difficult life change such as the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, or other personal hardships. We are also talking to Wellness experts, Therapists, and Mental Health Professionals who can share lessons from their experience and research.
As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Trey Sazon.
Trey Sazon is a Chicago based influencer and musical artist. He has been in the music industry for two years and has already made a big name for himself in both Chicago and within the Latino community. Trey Sazon is just beginning and you will be hearing his name a lot more very soon!
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up with a very tight knit family and have always been a family man. My mom has been my rock since I can remember and we were always back and forth between Puerto Rico and Chicago. Since I was a kid, I had a passion for making people laugh and for music as well. People always knew me as the life of the party and the “funny one.”
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Life’s greatest lessons are learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.” As much as I have enjoyed and loved the good times, my biggest life changing lessons have come from the bad times. They thought me how to be better, how to heal, how to survive and how to go on with my life when I thought I couldn’t.
You have been blessed with much success. In your opinion, what are the top three qualities that you possess that have helped you accomplish so much? If you can, please share a story or example for each.
- Humility. I have never been materialistic or cared about those sort of things. People know I tend to walk around in a black t-shirt all the time. I’ve never let materialistic things drive me and that has helped me a ton.
- Good intentions. I’m never out to purposely hurt anyone and my intentions are pure. I have had people try to slander my name in this industry many times, but I don’t even acknowledge it- I just keep moving forward with my head high, knowing karma will give us all what we deserve.
- Work ethic. I have always been a hard worker and when I’m working towards a goal, I work towards it nonstop. When I work on music, I will work all day every day until I perfect what I’m working on.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about ‘Healing after Loss’. Do you feel comfortable sharing with our readers about your dramatic loss or life change?
In August of 2021 I was in a huge car accident. A semi-truck crashed in to my car leaving me and my girlfriend nearly dead and with tons of injuries. We were just leaving a dinner where we were celebrating my being signed to a record label, and on our way home the truck slammed in to us. In a matter of minutes I went from being signed to a record label to having to re-learn to walk and needing 24/7 care.
What was the scariest part of that event? What did you think was the worst thing that could happen to you?
The scariest part was thinking that my girlfriend was dead. I saw her hanging from her seat, unconscious, and thought she was dying. My body was in shock, so I managed to get out of the car and walk over to her and was trying to get her out because I thought the car might explode. The worst thing I thought could happen was the car possibly exploding and us both burning to death. When the ambulance came, they pulled me away from her and told me I could only help her if I helped myself. But, in that moment, I couldn’t see that and kept trying to get up and get back to her. They ended up sedating me and I didn’t wake up until hours later in the ICU.
How did you react in the short term?
I was hospitalized with severe injuries for quite a while and while I was in the hospital I was overwhelmed with gratitude for having a second shot at life. I couldn’t even walk, but I just wanted to get out and live life with more appreciation.
After the dust settled, what coping mechanisms did you use?
As time went on and I realized how hard it was going to be to get back to normalcy again, I began to get frustrated. I wanted to walk again, I had nightmares of the accident every night, I was in constant pain and I didn’t know how to cope. But having the support of my family and followers really helped me get through it.
Can you share with us how you were eventually able to heal and “let go” of the negative aspects of that event?
I honestly can’t say that I have been able to fully let go of the negative aspects of it yet. However, taking the time to heal both physically and mentally was key. As much as I wanted to rush the process, I really had to learn to be patient with myself and with my body. I couldn’t be grateful to be alive and then not take care of my body and let it properly heal. I talked about it a lot with my girlfriend, family, friends and even my followers.
Aside from letting go, what did you do to create an internal, emotional shift to feel better?
Allow myself to feel all of the feelings that came with it, even if it meant crying or screaming. Letting go can’t happen if you don’t allow yourself to release all of your emotions.
Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to cope and heal? Can you share a story about that?
My girlfriend. We basically went through this whole thing together from beginning to end and it was great to have someone to lean on when I couldn’t bear to stand. It also allowed me to be her legs when she couldn’t walk. We were the only two in the accident so we were also the only two who fully understood what it felt like and what we were going through, and we never gave up on each other no matter how hard it got.
Were you able to eventually reframe the consequences and turn it into a positive situation? Can you explain how you did that?
Yes! I had to force myself to take time off in order to physically heal. At first, that was hard because I was used to always being on the go. However, after a while I was able to think of it as a much needed break and a time to slow down and focus on my passions instead of just working to pay bills.
What did you learn about yourself from this very difficult experience? Can you please explain with a story or example?
That I can survive anything thrown my way! After the accident, I was constantly told how lucky I was to even be alive let alone learning to walk again. And whenever I would get frustrated about not being able to do much without help, I would remember that and remind myself that this is just a chapter and I already survived the worst parts of it.
Fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your experiences and knowledge, what advice would you give others to help them get through a difficult life challenge? What are your “5 Things You Need To Heal After a Dramatic Loss Or Life Change? Please share a story or example for each.
- Patience with yourself and with others. It’s easy to want to rush back to normalcy but you really need to be patient and give yourself some grace. Our bodies and minds are very resilient, but we have to give them the time they need to heal or we will do more damage than good.
- A support system. Sometimes we want to hide from the world when something goes wrong, but isolating yourself doesn’t help. When you isolate yourself you just spiral down in to a negative black hole and it’s so hard to get out of there. Let they people who love you be there for you and support you.
- Self-care. Set some time aside to do the things you love. Even if you can’t do them exactly how you used to, at least attempt to partly do them. It’ll help you feel more like yourself again.
- Talk about it. It’s okay to talk about it, people who really love you and truly support you won’t mind and those who mind aren’t really your people anyway. Talking about it allows you to express and release your emotions instead of holding it all in until you explode.
- Cry as much as you need to, it’s a great way to release emotions and heal. You don’t have to be ashamed to cry and you don’t have to feel bad about it. Men have been conditioned not to cry, but that’s just conditioning and crying isn’t just okay but it’s also going to help you heal faster if you can fully release all of your feelings.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
I would love to create a foundation that provides resources to children who want to work on their art/passion but do not have the resources to do so.
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. 🙂
J-Balvin because I can relate to so much of his story and his struggles. I admire his success and would love to talk to him one on one.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
They can find me at @TreySazon on Instagram!
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!