She has her own money, her own career, is confident, passionate, and never afraid to speak her mind. Not to mention she’s good at everything. All things you love, but also all things that can make loving her intimidating.
Sound like your situation?
Loving a strong woman can be exciting and difficult at the same time. I mean she’d be fine without you, right? And you may even feel like she’s smarter than you, which can leave you worried that you’ll do something wrong, and she’ll happily move on.
But loving a strong woman doesn’t have to be scary. There are just a few things that men need to keep in mind when the woman they love is strong and independent.
Why You Might Need Tips For Loving A Strong Woman
But wait, love is love, right? You love her and she loves you – what else do you need to know?
Guys, we all know it’s not always that simple. Especially when the woman you’ve fallen in love with is exciting and particularly accomplished.
The fact is that many men will say they want a woman who is strong, independent, and who doesn’t need them. However, when it comes to managing within that relationship, the waters can get muddy. It’s not that he decides she’s not what he wants, he may just find that she challenges everything he thought he understood about women and relationships. And that can make him uncertain and overly insecure.
Masculine stereotypes still exist and can lead many men to believe or feel that women need to be taken care of, protected, and that they, as men, need to be the strong ones. However, for the most part, this simply isn’t true anymore.
But if that’s the way a man thinks he should love a woman and she pushes back against it, problems arise.
We often see couples in counseling who are struggling with a power imbalance within their relationship and are unable to communicate the problem. This push and pull can arise because the expectations of each partner are misaligned with the other and neither one can see it or understand why.
Although there are several reasons this can occur, it’s not uncommon for at least part of the problem to be a man’s struggle with his perception of his partner, what she needs, and how to express his love for her. Especially if she’s a particularly strong and successful person.
Even if you start off the relationship feeling balanced, it’s easy for men especially, to slip back into the stereotypes they have been told are normal male behaviors. So, before you get too far down the road, it’s good to be aware of how strong women – actually most women – want to be treated.
Tips For Loving A Strong Woman
More and more women these days are walking the same pathways as men. That means you are more likely to be surrounded by strong, smart, and ambitious women in your daily life. If you just happen to fall in love with one of those women, you should be prepared for some possible new challenges, and the tips below can help you.
1She’s Not Going To Change For You – So Don’t Even Ask
Strong women aren’t looking for someone to mold them. She may grow and change over time as she needs to, but not because you want her to be different. If you push her to change the person she is, she’s likely to push you out of her life.
2She Doesn’t Have Time For Games
Most strong women are focused and know their own mind. This means she has no interest in back-and-forth games of “he loves me, he loves me not”. If you have feelings for her, she will want you to be straightforward about them. This will be true throughout the relationship.
3Attempt To Manipulate Her And You’re Done
Don’t try to get your way through deceptive or manipulative means. Guilt trips and subversive methods will almost surely backfire. Be direct about what you want – think otherwise she will move on.
4She Will Tell You What She Thinks – Even If You Don’t Want To Hear It
Confident women rarely have a problem speaking their mind. If you’re uncomfortable with hearing the bad along with the good, or being told when you’re wrong, this could be a tough relationship. By the way guys, she’ll expect the same from you.
5If You’re Together Then She Doesn’t NEED You – She WANTS You
Understand that if you’re together it’s because she wants to be with you. She can live without you – she just prefers living with you. That really should make you feel good about yourself and your relationship.
6She Still Likes To Be Treated Like A Woman
Just because she’s strong doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate being cared for. She wants to know you find her attractive, that you love her, and yes, that you feel protective of her even if she doesn’t need your protection.
7She Will Love You And Respect You As Long As You Do The Same
Most strong women will give as good as they get. She expects to be treated like an equal, respected like an equal, and loved equally as much as she loves. Once you forget that or neglect her, there will be problems.
8She Will Make Up Her Own Mind
She doesn’t need you to make decisions for her. Don’t overstep or try to protect her by making decisions without her input.
If you’re reading this thinking, “What about me?”, then yes guys, nearly all of this goes both ways. The truth is that the tips above are useful for loving any woman and just as applicable to a woman showing love for a man.
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Dr. Kurt Smith is the Clinical Director of Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching, a Northern California counseling practice that specializes in helping men and the women who love them. His expertise is in understanding men, their partners, and the unique relationship challenges couples face today. Dr. Kurt is a lover of dogs, sarcasm, everything outdoors, and helping those seeking to make their relationships better.