The beginnings of romantic relationships are often delightful and exciting, but they can also be confusing and challenging.
When you meet someone who gives you a rush and makes you feel good, it’s easy to want to be around them constantly.
While the desire to flood your time with their presence is understandable and expected, it’s crucial to find a healthy balance of time together and apart.
So, how often do couples see each other?
It depends.
Is It Normal for Your Boyfriend to Only See You Once a Week?
Rather than asking, “Is it normal that I only see my boyfriend once a week?” try focusing more on the reasons for seeing each other once a week and what you do with your time together.
Maybe once a week is all your schedules allow. The many demands for your time require you to find a way to make it all work.
Busy or out-of-sync work schedules, familial priorities, the distance between you, and other commitments affect how much time you have for romantic relationships.
More important than how frequently you see each other is how you feel when you’re together –and apart. Also, one quality day a week can have far greater benefits than more frequent, less meaningful interactions:
Get to know each other better. Going slowly allows you to get to know him on a deeper level.
Become more comfortable being yourself. Easing into your time together allows you to relax and lets your authentic self shine naturally.
Take the chance to miss each other. Limiting your time together can make it feel more special when you’re together.
Is It Healthy to See Your Boyfriend Every Day?
While some couples happily spend every moment together, it’s likely to do more harm than good. It depends on the couple and what so much time together looks like.
Seeing each other every day may be unavoidable if you work together, live in the same building, or see each other in group settings with mutual friends. Perhaps you’ve been together a long time and have naturally progressed to seeing each other every day.
Reflect on how you feel about the amount of time you have for yourself and maintain individual relationships to determine if seeing each other every day is problematic.
Remember that neglecting your needs to spend time with your partner often leads to resentment. It’s necessary to spend time apart to gain clarity about yourself, your partner, and your relationship.
How Often Should You See Your Boyfriend? 9 Things to Consider
How many times a week should you see your boyfriend? It depends on factors such as schedules, the distance between you, and the weather. Even your health and moods come into play.
The point is to build a routine that works for both of you. Here are a few guidelines to consider when deciding just what that means for your relationship:
1. The age of your relationship.
The amount of time you spend together will likely increase the longer you’re together.
Consider limiting it to one or two days a week at the beginning of your relationship and maybe one or two weekends a month.
By three months, you’re probably starting to fall into a routine and may increase the number of days you see each other to three or four. Time limits are less important as you progress to six months and one year.
The amount of time you spend together at any stage should be comfortable and natural for both of you.
2. What’s happening with your hormones.
There’s a reason you feel the way you do when you meet someone new–it causes spikes in hormones like serotonin and oxytocin, which cause that honeymoon phase and make everything seem perfect.
This hormonal cloud can impair your judgment, creating the illusion of intimacy and infatuation for someone who isn’t right for you.
You both need time apart to recognize gut feelings that tell you something isn’t right.
3. Your need for space and independence.
Sure, you need space to avoid suffocating each other or moving too fast. But more important are your mental and physical health.
You lose yourself in your relationship when you avoid things you once cared about in favor of spending all your time with your significant other.
Take into account how much time you want to dedicate to other aspects of your life like friends and family, self-care, and work or school.
4. The reasons you see each other.
If you find that you and your partner spend a lot of time together, consider why. Is it because it feels natural and right, and you both enjoy it? Or is it out of habit and feels like something you’re supposed to do?
Spending time together should be a choice, not an obligation. There’s a difference between spending every Saturday night together because you feel like you should and doing it because you enjoy each other’s company.
5. Your life obligations and responsibilities.
Regardless of whether it leads to more or less time together, stuff happens.
Life events like job loss, death in the family, or health problems may mean one of you needs to cancel plans to attend to such matters.
It could also mean needing a shoulder to cry on. Or one of you might get a promotion at work or other good news worth celebrating that warrants an extra evening together.
Vary your modes of communication to keep things fresh and feel more connected even if you don’t see each other as often as you’d like.
A good morning text, an after lunch Snapchat, or a good night phone call allows you to check in with each other and show that you care without spending every waking moment together.
The amount of time you spend with your partner might vary with your commitment level, how long you’ve been together, and your individual needs. As you grow closer and get more serious, you may find you want to spend more time together.
Or you may need to reduce your time together for self-care, maintain your hobbies and interests, or spend with friends and family.
Life is busy. Between work, family responsibilities, hobbies, self-care, and other commitments, finding time to spend with your partner can be challenging. This is especially true the longer you’re together.
But just as seeing each other too often can be damaging, so can seeing each other infrequently. You need to see each other face-to-face to build your connection and determine how you feel about each other.
9. What feels right to both of you.
Relationships are not one-size-fits-all. Some couples can spend all of their spare time together while doing so in other relationships would break it.
Focus more on how well you get along and how you make each other feel than on the number of hours you see each other every week.
The amount of time you spend together is completely up to you, as long as both of you thrive independently and together.
If you disagree on how much time you should spend together, have an honest conversation about it and come up with a compromise. Some people simply need more time and space alone than others.
Getting too hung up on how much time you spend together can stress the relationship, especially in the early days. Follow the guidelines above to help you find a healthy balance of time together and time apart. Adjust accordingly as your needs and the needs of your relationship evolve.
