What are the signs he has strong feelings for you? Whether he’s a friend or someone you’ve been dating for a while, it can be challenging to gauge where his head and heart are. Men can be difficult to read (if you don’t know what to look for), and there’s a good chance he’s sending you mixed messages. One day you’re out for dinner, and the conversation flows back and forth. Before you know it, you’re the only two left in the restaurant, and the staff is nudging you out the door. The next day, you’re lucky if you get two words out of the guy—he’s struggling to string a single sentence together. You’re starting to worry he has an identical twin brother, and they’ve been pulling a switcheroo on you.
Does he like me?
Does he hate me?
Does everyone know what’s going on here apart from me?
In this article, I’m sharing all the signs he has strong feelings for you (for real), and by the end, you will finally know where you stand.
Let’s dive in.
Why are men not vocal about their feelings?
We live in a society where boys and men who express vulnerability are labeled “weak,” “sissy,” or “girls” (let’s stop doing that). So what do they learn? They have to walk around like strong, rugged, uber-masculine action heroes—like a “real” man.
This is one of the primary reasons a man won’t verbally admit that he has feelings for a woman. He thinks it makes him weak if he leans into that emotional, sweet, vulnerable side of himself. So he bottles everything up (super healthy, not). Other men are naturally shy and insecure, which means they’ll be even less likely to tell you how they feel.
However, as much as they try to mask their feelings, they will usually seep out, and it’s easy to miss. He will say or do little things that he won’t do for every woman, and this is his way of signaling that he has strong feelings for you.
Signs he doesn’t have strong feelings for you
Before we jump in, let’s quickly go over some of the signs that a guy does not have strong feelings for you:
- He often talks to you about other women he’s attracted to or dating.
- He calls you “buddy” or “friend.”
- His schedule is always full when it comes to hanging out with you.
- You only spend time with him as part of a group.
- He doesn’t reply to your texts as much as he should.
- He ignores you in public.
- It doesn’t matter to him if he doesn’t talk to you or see you for long periods.
- He always brings up the word “friendship” with you.
- You have never had a conversation that goes beyond the superficial, day-to-day.
If a man does any of these things, he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend.
25 signs he has strong feelings for you
Here’s how to tell if a guy has feelings for you
1. He stares at you a lot
I said men are afraid to be vulnerable; I didn’t say they were subtle. And the way a man stares at a woman he has strong feelings for is not subtle!
Do you often catch his eyes on you? Do you feel him watching you, even if he’s across the room? And when you catch him in the act, does he smile or quickly look away and turn an adorable shade of bubblegum pink?
Men will look at the person they are most attracted to when in a room. We’re very visual creatures.
2. Body language is one of the signs a guy has feelings for you
Did you know that 90% of what a person is communicating is non-verbal? Body language is real and can tell you a lot about how someone feels.
Pay attention to what he does with his body the next time you’re together (without staring too much!).
Signs he has romantic feelings for you include standing near you, positioning his face and body in front of you, leaning in when you’re talking to close the gap, and mirroring whatever you’re doing with your body.
3. He wants to know everything about you
Is this guy always asking you questions? Does it feel like he’s an undercover Inspector Clouseau hunting out your favorite interests, passions, dreams, and pet peeves? You jokingly tell him you had a wild weekend and bought some new bed linen, and you’ve never encountered anyone more interested in thread counts than he is.
Does he care about bed linen? Probably not. But this shows he cares about you, he wants to feel emotionally closer to you, and it’s one of the signs he has strong feelings for you.
4. He makes excuses to be close to you
How do you know if a guy has secret feelings for you?
He’ll always be there, not in a stalker kind of way, but in a comforting, familiar way.
He’ll take a seat next to you when you host a dinner party, want to be your teammate when you’re goofing around as a group playing board games; he’ll show up when you invite him to events (even if they’re not his thing) and ask you to help him shop for new clothes at the mall.
Why? Because he’ll take every opportunity he gets to be around the woman he’s attracted to.
5. He tries to make you laugh
Men frequently use humor to make the women they like happy because they want nothing more than to see you smile or hear you laugh and know that they are the source of your pleasure.
If comedy isn’t one of his gifts, brace yourself for corny dad jokes and cheesy one-liners. You’ll still be laughing, but maybe not with him…
6. His phone does not exist when you’re around
How do you know a guy has feelings for you if he won’t come right out and say it?
When he’s with you, his attention will be locked on you. And that means he won’t be checking his phone every five minutes, answering calls, or surfing the net. You probably won’t see his phone. Does he even own a phone? Who knows. But either way, this guy is a breath of fresh air compared to those other guys you’ve dated who can’t make it through a 60-minute lunch date without replying to an “urgent” email 🙄.
7. He’s acting weird when you’re together
Looking for signs he has strong feelings for you but is scared to confess them?
One of the obvious signs is that he’ll start acting a bit strange.
Maybe he seems a little more nervous than usual and starts fumbling with his words or getting a little sweatier than usual. Or perhaps he goes the other way, becomes extra confident, and starts randomly belting out hits from your favorite musical.
Whatever he’s doing, it’s weird, and it’s out of character for him.
8. It seems like he’s always mincing his words
Do you ever get the feeling that this man wants to say something important to you, but for whatever reason, he doesn’t?
Maybe he shrugs it off or says, “it’s nothing,” or mumbles something inaudible, and when you ask him what he said, he tells you it doesn’t matter?
This is because he desperately wants to tell you he likes you, but he keeps hitting a wall every time he comes close to doing so.
9. He flirts with you
How do I know if he has feelings for me?
Well, does he flirt with you?
Some guys are just Joey Tribbiani types, and flirting will be their default setting. He’ll flirt with the waitress, his assistant, and even his Great aunt-Mural. But the rest of us? We only flirt when we’re attracted to a woman.
Signs he’s flirting: being extra charming, playful, and maybe even joking about the two of you getting together.
10. He compliments you
Does this guy often sing your praises? Is he the first to congratulate you on a promotion, notice that you got your hair styled in a new way, or tell you that you look great when you’ve made an extra special effort to wear a dress instead of your usual white shirt and tailored pants combo?
Compliments, especially non-physical ones, are one of the signs he has strong feelings for you.
11. Signs a guy has feelings for you: he wants to help you
When a man likes you as more than just a friend, he will go out of his way to help you in any way he can. This might mean fixing that leaky tap in your house, helping you lift a bag of heavy groceries, or giving you a ride in his car (even if it’s way out of the way).
Let’s say this guy loathes shopping for clothes. But you tell him that you need to pick an outfit for Lucy’s upcoming wedding, and he says, “shall we go shopping together?” Nothing screams “I’ve got feelings for you” louder than a straight man who volunteers to go clothes shopping with a woman who is guaranteed to try on 36 different dresses and then decide to buy the first thing she tried on.
12. He texts you first to tell you good news
Are you always the first to find out when something big happens in this man’s life?
He reaches a big goal in his business, and he calls you to celebrate.
He finally books that solo trip to India that he has been talking about doing forever, and he can’t wait to tell you.
He took his first-ever selfie and sent it to you with the caption, “just took my first selfie—on a scale of 1-10, how impressed are you 😉?”
You’ll often receive texts or calls from him that start with “guess what?!” because he wants to share his good news with someone he knows will be just as excited for him as he is!
13. He invites you into his world
How does a man act when he’s falling in love?
He starts making you a part of his plans. That means he’ll introduce you to friends, family, and maybe even his colleagues at work. He’ll share his favorite hobbies and interests with you. Maybe he’ll even show you around the town he grew up in.
A man won’t invite someone into his world like this unless he has strong feelings for you and sees you as part of his future. So if you have no idea if this guy even has a family, chances are he’s just not that into you.
14. He asks your opinion when making decisions
“What should I wear for this big presentation at work? Red tie with a white shirt, or blue tie with a pink shirt?”
“I can’t decide where to travel next: France or Japan?”
“What do you want me to cook for brunch on the weekend? Pancakes or waffles or both?”
When a guy has strong feelings for you, your opinion will mean more to him than most people’s; plus, he wants to get you more involved in his life, hence the 101 questions.
15. He’s ultra-protective of you
If you want to know how to tell how a man feels about you, see if he’s acting like a protective older brother around you. For example, if a guy is hitting on you and won’t take no for an answer, he might politely step in and pretend that he’s your boyfriend (and wishes he is). He might casually put his arm around you when you’re crossing the street together to ensure you’re safe. He might send you a text to check you got home okay when he knows you’re out late. He’ll act nonchalant about all of these things, “Oh what, this? This is nothing. I do this for every woman I know.”
Men are hard-wired to protect the people they love. So if he’s more protective of you than others are, he might have stronger feelings for you than you think.
16. He has feelings for you if he gets green-eyed when other guys are in the picture
Have you ever been out at the same venue together and started chatting to another guy? Of course, you have, because you’re a beautiful, high-value woman—who wouldn’t want to talk to you!
Before you know it, you’re laughing at his jokes, maybe even flirting a little, and having a great time (classic Little Love Step #3).
And out of nowhere, his mood changes. He gets quiet, sullen, or maybe he tells you that you can do better than that guy.
The bottom line is that he cannot handle seeing another guy in the picture when he has feelings for you.
17. He’s extra chivalrous with you
Some guys are true gentlemen, and they will always behave chivalrously around other women, whether it’s their sister, co-worker, or girlfriend. But one of the signs he has strong feelings for you is he will go the extra mile with his chivalry. Maybe that means he regularly treats you to drinks or dinner but doesn’t do the same for his other female friends. Maybe he always holds the umbrella directly above your head when it’s raining, even though he’s ruining his fancy suit. Maybe he has shown up at your door with surprises like smoked salmon bagels or lattes or tickets to the theater more times than you can remember.
You get special treatment from him, and if you’re being honest with yourself, it feels good, right?
18. If he has strong feelings for you he will try to impress you
Sometimes, men do stupid things to impress the women they’re attracted to. Usually, they don’t know you well enough at this point to have genuine feelings and are just trying to leapfrog into your bed. But other times, when the feelings are real, they’ll do sweet things to impress you, like offer to lift heavy boxes for you when you move apartments, show you how to change the oil in your car, or take you to this beautiful, idyllic viewpoint in the city that no one else knows about.
19. People often tell you that you’d make a cute couple
Do all your friends and family frequently tell you that you’d make a great couple?
Maybe random people who don’t know you assume that you are a couple when you’re together?
Maybe someone tried to set you two up on a blind date. You both turned up; you laughed out loud, then he fake laughed but inside, he was thinking, “this is a clear sign from the Universe that we are meant to be together.”
Sometimes, our friends and family (and even strangers) have a sixth sense about these things and can pick up on chemistry before we do. Other times, real feelings may have been spilled in confidence, and they’re trying to play cupid.
20. Signs his feelings are growing for you: he remembers little things you tell him
Looking for more signs he has strong feelings for you? Think about if he remembers the things you tell him.
When a guy is falling for you, he will hang on your every word.
He’ll remember how you got that tiny scar on your left wrist. He’ll remember that you’re terribly allergic to prawns and will leave them out of the paella he cooks you for dinner. And he’ll remember that balloons freak you out because when you were little, you were blowing one up, and it burst in your face and scared the bejesus out of you. Never again.
21. He keeps in contact with you
Sometimes he calls, texts, and maybe even likes and comments on your social media posts. He prefers spending time with you in real life, but when you’re apart, you can bet he’ll keep in contact every way he can.
Because he wants to stay at the forefront of your mind, and he doesn’t want some other guy walking into your life and making him a distant memory.
22. He opens up to you
Remember what I said earlier about men keeping their most intimate feelings under lock and key?
It’s not just you he’s hiding his feelings and emotions from—he puts on a brave display to everyone else, including his nearest and dearest.
So, on the rare occasions when he does open up, you can guarantee you’re important to him.
Maybe he shares a memory from his childhood, an embarrassing story, or one of his deepest fears. Most people don’t know about it, but he’s comfortable enough to share it with you.
23. He is by your side
Only during our moments of need and the darker days do we find out who our true friends are. So, if a man is always there for you when you need him (even if it’s 4 AM and there’s a blizzard outside and he has to shovel ten inches of snow), it’s a sign he has strong feelings for you.
He hasn’t quite mustered the courage to share his true feelings with you, but what he can do is show you how much he cares about you by consistently showing up.
24. He’s happy doing nothing with you
Silence can sometimes be an awkward experience when you’re uncomfortable and surrounded by people you don’t like very much. But when you’re with someone you like a lot, even silence is enjoyable.
So, does he seem content just spending time in your company?
Is he happy with natural pauses in conversation when you’re out for lunch?
Does he still try to spend time with you even when you’ve got nothing planned?
This is one of the many signs he has strong feelings for you.
25. He is honest about his feelings for you
Does he have feelings for you? Sometimes, when a man does have strong feelings for a woman, he will tell her in a roundabout way.
He might tell you how much he values your friendship, loves spending time with you, or is ready and looking for a serious relationship.
Combine these words with the other signs on this list, and you’ve got an almost-open admission of how he feels about you. What else do you need? A surprise flash mob performance when you’re at the office?
Now that you know the signs to look out for that a man has strong feelings for you, the question is, do you have strong feelings for him too?
If the answer is yes, but you’re just friends, don’t be afraid to gently bring it up in conversation, or even take the lead and suggest going on a date to see if there’s a connection. And if you’re already dating, think about whether you are ready to take that next step and become exclusive (also known as Little Love Step #6).
What do you think is the clearest sign that a man has strong feelings for a woman? Tell me all in the comments below!