The idea of having a perfect partner has been skimming around since the dawn of time. Most of us are affected by this thought, either consciously or subconsciously. They say there’s one individual out there who is bound to be your other half. Before we answer the “Is a soulmate real or not?” question, it’s essential to point out what soulmates are.
What’s a Soulmate?
You come across this word on social media, especially on dating sites. You read about kindred spirits in books and watch movies that captivate your heart. So, what are soulmates? Dictionaries state that it is a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. It might be true, but it isn’t always the case. Your ideal person might look different than you imagine, and he or she doesn’t have to make your soul sing and feel loved.
Instead, soulmates are human beings who make your inner world grow and evolve. In fact, they might be the people you hate, and they just have to touch your soul. Or, they may be the people who rub you the wrong way or knock down your unhealthy parts. It is not always pleasant, yet it causes you to re-examine every aspect of your life and deepen the search for truth.
Why Is the Idea of Soulmates Debatable?
The idea of a soulmate appeared in 2000 B.C. from the Egyptian mythology text, The Book of the Dead. According to it, the god Atum made the two gods, Shu and Tefnut. Each had only half of a soul. Nowadays, there are still lots of people affected by this “only half of a soul” belief, leading them to idealize their relationships. What is wrong with this concept?
You Are Not Whole
First of all, the idea of finding your other half is not okay. It implies you are not self-sufficient and can’t lead a fulfilling life. Psychologists say this approach is pretty messed up. Soulmates can make a difference, but they don’t complete you.
You’ll Understand Your Partner Even Without Words
How many people feel broken-hearted when reality differs from the movies and books? We are sure everyone has been there. But even if you’re an amazing match, it will never be a completely flawless experience. The idea of perfect partners can deceive us into accepting that once you discover your individual, everything will be great and simple — and that is simply not reality.
There Is Only One Soulmate in the Whole World
We often wonder, “Can you have multiple soulmates?” The answer is positive. There are over 7.5 billion people on Earth. Many of them can be appropriate to build a sound, rewarding, fulfilling, and affectionate relationship with one another.
What’s a Better Way to Think of Soulmates?
We all hold some lists of traits describing an ideal partner. How about this: a soulmate is not about love only. They don’t necessarily have to be great for your being. It may be your ex that caused you the greatest pain. It may be your mother-in-law that annoys and agitates you.
Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates, too. Don’t limit this definition to just love. You can have meaningful connections with many people. If you broaden the definition, there will be less pressure.
It’s May Be a Bad Idea to Think of Your Partner as Your “Soulmate”
If you think of your partner as your soulmate, it may undermine your connection. Soulmate believers tend to think of their relationships in a more negative way. They feel less satisfied when it comes to inevitable conflicts. As a result, they think, “Okay, we are not the perfect fit.”
This has been proven by one study aptly titled Framing love. Its participants had to pick phrases and pictures that represented their take on love. The romantic group was way more pessimistic regarding the bumps in their relationships than the realistic one.
Is There Any Scientific Proof?
We never ask, “Is a soulmate real or not?” just because it’s a nice question. It’s like when your 4-year-old kid asks: “Do monsters exist?” They wonder not because of curiosity. It’s more likely they think they may have just seen one.
If we turn to science, the answer will be negative. According to R. Munroe’s book, What If, math tells us this concept is impossible. There’s no way you have only one special person in the whole world, whereas psychology allows this thought, but with a twist. A connection may not begin with a one-way ticket to Soulmate Ville, but it can eventually develop into this over time.
So, Should We Let Go of the Idea That Soulmates Are Real?
It depends on whether this concept prevents you from finding a satisfying relationship. If you are single and into the dating stuff, remember that your potential match may be different from what you’ve pictured. Being a hopeless romantic is great if you’re the protagonist of a novel. Real life is another thing.
But what if you are sure you’ve found that special one? It’s okay if this fact makes you a happy person. Just remember there’s no science behind this idea. Also, being soulmates doesn’t mean that you don’t have to work on your relationship. Mutual trust and respect do not appear on their own.
The Bottom Line – Is a Soulmate Real or Not?
Holding hands with a partner you love may feel like you’ve won the soul lottery. But don’t be too hard on yourself and other people if you’re still searching. Also, remember that you may have already encountered the one, but not in the form of your heart’s desire. The biggest mistake people make is limiting this word to romance. It can be anyone who helps you step into the light a bit more. Have you met your special one? Are soulmates real in your world?
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Author: Michelle E. Austin
Michelle Austin is a guest blogger and copywriter with more than 3 years of experience in the psychology of family relationships category. Worked for a long time at the Media Group as editor. Writing for Datingrating.net. Now she is a relationship coach for couples from Mansfield, OH. Her main goal is to help couples stay together in a healthy and strong relationship. Take care of yourself and be patient.