This article originally was published by the Child Mind Institute Cynthia Braun remembers all too well what weekday mornings used to be like at her house. Since her husband had to leave early for work, it was up to Braun, a pediatrician with a practice in Pleasantville, New York, to get Anika and Devon, then 6…
People-pleasing is the act of chronically prioritizing others’ needs, wants, or feelings at the expense of, or to the detriment of, our own needs, wants, or feelings. Acts of kindness, generosity, and affection are not intrinsically people-pleasing; they’re important aspects of every relationship. These behaviors become problematic when prioritizing others has chronic, negative impacts on…
Pouring out all your problems in the first session of couple’s therapy can be a relief. At last, you’re facing what has been pulling you down and apart. However, you could also be overwhelmed. The mountain to be climbed seems so high and the emotional cost so great that the first session feels like a…
Your dating difficulties are not caused by something about you that’s permanently flawed. If you’ve experienced trauma, being vulnerable in relationships reveals the old wounds that never healed. Each new connection you make can be challenging because, for you, it is an opportunity to finally be fulfilled or to suffer yet another potential heartache. What…
“Giulio, did you take your sister’s cookie?” I watch as the look on the two pint-sized faces cycles from affront to indignation to anger to something I can only describe as steely-eyed determination. I brace myself. His expression matches that of Mel Gibson, face full of Scottish war paint, charging toward the enemy screaming, “Freedom!”…
You and your partner are in a tough place. You have a hard time feeling connected and don’t feel understood. You worry if this is the beginning of the end of the relationship. You fantasize about what life might be like starting over, being single, and what dating someone new might be like. Maybe you…
Grace was fourteen years old when her father, John, married Kate. In her view, she had little control over the events unfolding in her life, including her father remarrying and starting a new family quickly. Even though Kate seemed nice enough and she really loved her dad, it still didn’t seem fair to Grace that…
Listen to the Gottmans discuss the big and small things you can do to have a happy relationship Here at the Gottman Institute, we know that our founders Drs. John and Julie Gottman are sought-after speakers and podcast guests around the world. Recently, they had the opportunity to speak to Dan Harris at the Ten…
What an amazing fourth season we had of the Small Things Often podcast. We here at The Gottman Institute are proud to present informative, yet short resources that help you improve your relationships. This season we ventured into more episodes for parents and caregivers while still providing couples with the tools they need to love…
Any conversation between us explodes. It’s like, “Who can belittle each other more” He looks at me with these smug straight eyes that say, You can talk all you want. I don’t care. It is so condescending. I almost laugh at my partner’s defensiveness. I know that it will escalate the conflict, but I can’t…
