When you need to complain to your partner about something they’re doing or a situation you both are in, it’s easy for things to go sideways. From tone to word choice, you could offend them in a number of different ways. The chances of what you say coming off as criticism are high. It may…
A question often asked when learning about the Four Horsemen is: are stonewalling and the silent treatment the same thing? The answer I give is yes and no. There are definitely some similarities between the two but also a big difference I see as well. Stonewalling is when someone emotionally shuts down and withdraws from…
Dr. John Gottman’s research identified four behaviors destructive to relationships. These behaviors predicted relationship instability and unhappiness. He coined them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. Let’s do a deep dive into the first horsemen. The First Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Criticism Criticism is the first because it is…
This article originally was published by the Child Mind Institute Witnessing a parent in a state of anxiety can be more than just momentarily unsettling for children. Kids look to their parents for information about how to interpret ambiguous situations; if a parent seems consistently anxious and fearful, the child will determine that a variety of…
Even in a healthy relationship, mistakes, carelessness, and conflict are inevitable. The right repairs at the right time can make all the difference. Resolve disagreements and get your message through by finding common ground, sharing when you feel persuaded, and stating when you need to take a break or when you feel that you’re both…
Do you relate to one of the two scenarios below for yourself or your partner? Scenario 1:“She never understands me. In the past, also, no one understood me.”“No one ever gave me attention.”“He does not talk to me for days. Even when he doesn’t treat me well, I continue to care for him.”“I can do…
It’s time to dispel some myths. Relationships don’t always fall apart because of personality differences. Conversely, don’t believe that having similar hobbies is enough to keep you together. There are a lot of pop psychology, quick-fix methods out there. Thankfully, research from Dr. John Gottman gives insight into what really strengthens a relationship. Here at…
My Aunt Hazel loved herself a good bodice-ripper romance novel. I remember as a child finding—okay, searching for—the dog-eared paperbacks under her bed. Each cover showed a hunky man with flowing hair and a sexy ingénue with fire in her eyes, clasped in a passionate embrace. Of course despite their many obstacles and between surprisingly…
In 2019, the average person spent 144 minutes per day on social media (Clement, 2020). According to Media Dependency Theory, the higher dependence a person has on media the stronger the influence of media on the individual’s perceptions and behaviors (Joo & Teng, 2017, p. 36). A study conducted in 2018 by Brigham Young University…
Research shows when couples talk more about sex, they have more satisfying sex lives. Despite that finding, many couples find it hard to talk to their partner about their needs and desires. Talking about your sex life can sometimes feel more vulnerable than actually having sex. You have to share your feelings, express what you…
