Differences in a relationship are often seen as something negative, but they actually can serve a great purpose. They can deepen our empathy, respect, communication skills, and our resolve. Dr. John Gottman, co-founder of The Gottman Institute and author of many books on love, marriage, and relationships, says that we grow in our relationships by…
In Homer’s Odyssey, composed around the 8th century BCE, we encounter the quintessential masculine hero, Odysseus. A decorated veteran of the Trojan War, he finds himself “imprisoned” in luxury on Calypso’s island. Despite the material comforts surrounding him, Odysseus is inconsolable, weeping as he longs for his wife and son. Fast forward to the 21st…
Couples, like Dave and Tina, seek out sex therapy because both partners are frustrated with their sexual dynamics. Dave complains about the little sexual connection they have, and Tina fires back that she’s too exhausted. Dave gets frustrated, and Tina shuts down. Like Groundhog Day, the same conversation happens again a few weeks later. Sexual…
When I found myself a single father to two young children (3y/o son and 8 y/o daughter), I was forced to reassess what it meant to be a dad. I was well aware of the statistics around single parent households and wanted to make sure my kids had the same positive outcomes associated with two…
In the simplest sense, a boundary separates one thing from another. A fence is a boundary between two properties; our skin is the boundary between our organs and the outside world. A boundary is the line where one thing ends, and another begins. When we set a boundary with another person, we create some sort…
On a quiet January evening, David spotted the signs. His son, Ethan, a high school sophomore, sat at the kitchen table, his eyes glued to the light of his phone screen. Light flickered across his face, casting long shadows that seemed to echo the dark emotions hidden beneath his calm exterior. David’s worry deepened as…
‘In insecure relationships, we disguise our vulnerabilities so our partner never really sees us.’ Dr. Sue Johnson Will you be there for me? According to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), most arguments in relationships are protests over emotional disconnection. Underneath the fights, partners are wondering: Are you there for me? Can…
We all need emotional connection. Humans have a natural desire for connecting with others. Whether that’s with a relative, a partner, a friend, or a coworker, it satisfies the common emotional needs of being included, having a sense of control over our lives, and being liked. When these needs are met, people experience well-being and…
The line between love and hate, passion, and pain (especially if you have experienced trauma)can feel as thin as a sliver. The reasons for this are complex, but what is essential to know is thatwhen researchers put two strangers on a perilous, swinging bridge together, the strangers aremore likely to be attracted to one another…
Mothers give birth not just to a child, but to a family. You have been a shining example of this, Bjørg. As you approach 90 with white hair, your hands trembling more than they used to when grasping your coffee cup, the fear of losing you intensifies with each visit and conversation. I look back…
