Does your effort to support your partner spiral into arguments? Maybe you can relate to Elena and Tom below. Elena: (Sighs) Today was… overwhelming. It felt like everything that could go wrong,did. Tom: At least it’s over now, right? I’m sure it’ll be better tomorrow. Elena: (Feeling misunderstood). It’s not just about having a bad…
Parenting fatigue, also known as parental burnout is a mental health issue many parentsexperience. To define it simply; parenting fatigue is when the responsibilities of parenting addup and create excess stress that causes mental and physical health symptoms. This in turnmakes it hard to continue the role of parenting. It can be a downward cycle…
In any relationship, it’s natural to encounter challenges and conflicts. But what happens when those conflicts turn toxic? Gaslighting and stonewalling are not the same thing, but both can wreak havoc on a relationship. It’s crucial to understand the difference between these two behaviors so that you can decide how to react when or if…
We are so sad to announce that Sue Johnson has died at the age of 76 from cancer. She was a close friend of ours and a valued colleague. We loved her enormously. She gave us profound insights into how to create connection and safety in close relationships. Sue used attachment theory to brilliantly illuminate…
I lay in my husband’s arms, a small spoon nestled within his big. His arm is draped around me and his large palm rests over my heart. I sigh with contentment. The worries of the day seep into my pillow and tight muscles soften as my heartbeat slows down. This is the tantalizing, healing power…
In the 1970’s and 1980’s, two pioneers in marital research were quietly gathering data on how to create happy lasting relationships. Dr. John Gottman’s and Dr. Susan Johnson’s research was initially known mostly among academic circles because therapists were still afraid of doing couples therapy. Gottman’s and Johnson’s research brought an unprecedented empirical foundation to…
If you want an exceptional love relationship – even though you’ve been together for years ordecades? You’ve got to learn to date your mate again. Oxford dictionary defines a date as a social or romantic appointment or engagement. Andwhen you were first dating your partner, you did a great job. Remember? You used to planahead,…
Playing with dad does more than just create fun memories—it provides essential brain-building engagement. Surprising new research from the UK reveals the overlooked ways a father’s playtime involvement uniquely equips kids for academic and social success. “When dads devote time to active play and engagement, there are tangible benefits from involving dads,” said psychologist Dr.…
As I’m writing this, my wife asks “Do you want to come try this?” referring to a new meal she justmade. Do I really need to get up and try this now? I think to myself. After all, I’m writing for TheGottman Institute. Here’s what Drs. John and Julie Gottman say about these moments in…
Editor’s note: This article contains mild sexual content. Dr. John Gottman is not only a ground-breaking relationship researcher and theoretician, he’s also really funny! I highly recommend taking a look at this video for a comical depiction of an all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women in the bedroom: Problems in the Bedroom? Usually sex isn’t an…
