In a world where social bonds are seen as a fundamental aspect of human life, the diminishing circle of close friends among adult men is becoming a subject of increasing concern. As a psychotherapist of 20 years specializing in men’s issues and relationships, my colleagues and I see this phenomenon firsthand. We’re worried. Research highlights…
This posting, which concerns a recent study out of UC Berkeley on the relationship between sleep and relationship conflict, notes the importance of cultivating good habits in self-care. It’s one of the most critical tools in maintaining healthy relationships. Here are a few of Dr. John Gottman’s tips for goal-setting and stress management. The following…
The holidays are always so stressful. Why is that? And what can be done to ease the great stresses generated by our holiday celebrations? I’m going to tell you. The design of every holiday season is about the planned re-emergence of hope. They try to get you to reconsider hope and give it another chance.…
That’s not the kind of gridlock I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is the emotional traffic jam that happens in a relationship which has all the same accompanying emotions and more – feeling stuck, frustrated, or powerless. The holiday season is as good a time as any to reconsider how to approach gridlocked problems…
I look at Janissa and Karla on my screen. Their mouths are tense, they avoid eye contact, and when I ask what is causing their distress they say “We ‘re dreading the holidays. We end up bickering at best and not speaking to each other at worst”. The other couples in the group nod in…
In counseling — and in life, in general! — we talk a lot about emotions. But have you ever considered why you engage with and process your emotions (or don’t) the way you do? Lately, in my practice, I have become increasingly aware of how important it is to understand our partner’s view of emotions.…
‘Small things often’ is Dr. John Gottman’s motto which refers to the impact of everyday small actions on the wellbeing and longevity of your relationship. Certified Gottman Therapist Kimberly Panganiban, LMFT discussed this idea in a recent webinar for The Gottman Institute. She begins with the concept of ‘bids’ which are any gesture that signals…
One of the toughest times of year for families who are co-parenting after divorce is the holiday season.Let’s face it, it can be a challenge for divorced parents to let go of grudges and bad memories of pastholidays. For the recently divorced parent, the holidays can be an emotional, stressful, and perhaps alonely time of…
Life is busy. Our romantic relationships usually start with a lot of passion and exciting intimacy but often times fades over time as the rigors of life kick in. Roommate syndrome is the term used to describe this dynamic in couples where their relationship has become an arrangement lacking romantic love and affection. Roommate problems…
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who was emotionally unavailable? What about someone who was emotionally exhausting? People give up on finding “the one” after experiencing a relationship or two with someone who has either style. Self-doubt sets in and you think, “something must be wrong with me.” To understand this phenomenon…
